We’re definitely the funniest people on the planet.
On life goals:
On music:
On getting wasted:
On clothing:
24 Times Scottish Twitter Made You Shit Yourself Laughing In 2016
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Was This Movie Released In 2016 Or Not?
I am honestly losing my concept of time.
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Women Are Sharing Their Photos Of Domestic Violence In This Powerful Project
Ebony Malika told BuzzFeed News: “I just want people to understand they’re not alone.”
Ebony Malika, a 21-year-old makeup artist from New Orleans, has channeled her experience as a domestic violence victim into a photo project.
Malika told BuzzFeed News that she was in a two-year relationship during which her partner subjected her to physical and mental abuse.
She said: "I loved that person very much, honestly more than myself at one point. And that's exactly where I went wrong."
Malika said that during the relationship she made herself believe that it was normal to argue and fight.
She said: "I didn't have the understanding that if something is clearly and obviously unhealthy for us, we have to let it go no matter how much you love the person.
"The worst part about that relationship was the mental abuse that I was encountering. It really took a toll on my life, from school to my relationships with the people around me."
Malika said she knew that she needed to leave the relationship when she was physically abused and could not recognise the person she was.
And she now wants to be a voice that spreads awareness as well as encouragement.
Instagram: @laneslense / Via Instagram: @beatbyebb
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21 Of The Most Ridiculous Things Parents Have Caught Their Kids Doing
So much poop.
On Reddit, parents were asked: What is a rule you never thought you would have to create, let alone enforce? This is what happened.
Cusoncom / Getty Images
Avava / Getty Images
Casphotography / Getty Images
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This Color Test Will Predict How Many Kids You'll Have
We’ve been testing this out for a while, and it’s at least 85% accurate. Try it out!
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How Shit Is Your Taste In Chips?
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Ellen And Her Fellow Medal Winners Did The Mannequin Challenge At The White House
This is epic.
President Obama announced last week that he would award Ellen DeGeneres and 20 other high-profile people the Presidential Medal of Freedom for making significant contributions to the country.
Ellen is being honored for her services to television and the LGBT community.
Kevin Lamarque / Reuters
It's all kinda blurry, but there's Robert De Niro kicking things off.
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10 Of The Hardest Bizarre Fast-Food “Would You Rather” Questions Ever
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21 Virginities All Makeup Addicts Have Lost
Once you pull your first “mascara face” you’ve officially been initiated into the club.
Attempting to apply your first set of false eyelashes.
And failing monumentally.
ABC / Warner Bros. Television
Then finally achieving your first successful attempt.
Complete with several selfies to commemorate the moment.
Purchasing a new lipstick and marvelling at its smooth, untouched beauty.
Watching your first makeup tutorial.
And somehow finding it oddly relaxing.
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We Know Where In Australia You Should Travel To
Plan your next getaway.
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22 Black Friday Horror Stories From Retail Workers Who Lived To Tell
You have no idea how many people crap in the fitting rooms.
"This lady with a little kid came up to my register and set her down on the ground. The young girl began complaining about having to use the bathroom and the mom kept ignoring her or telling her to wait until they got home. The daughter ended up peeing all over my station and the mom didn't say anything about it. She paid, grabbed her bags, and said that I should clean that up and just left." —Ashton David, Facebook
"At one point there were maybe 200 people in line to check out, when a woman with two full carts tried to cut to the very front. She told me that she was buying toys for kids in her church, so she should be expedited. I apologized and told her that was not going to happen. Then, right there in the middle of the store, she got down on her knees and started praying — LOUDLY— that Jesus strike me down with righteous lightning for blocking the path of a Christian soldier. After 15 minutes of me not being struck down, she left the store." —Emmay Friedenson, Facebook"
"I've worked on Black Friday for about seven years now, but the worst was back in 2012. I was working at Fry's Electronics and we opened at about 5:30 a.m.. We had this Mr. Coffee machine that was on sale for $3, and I witnessed one lady punch another lady in the face for our last non-reserved one." —Carla Catalan, Facebook
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18 Hilarious Picture Tweets About Kids Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
How are they so effortlessly funny?
This affectionate kid.
This baby who probably has a promising career in gymnastics.
This photogenic niece.
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The Search For A Better Potato
arsheffield / Via Flickr: arsheffield
Americans are about to boil, mash, bake, and butter a whole lot of potatoes. In fact, thanks to meat-avoiding vegetarians and everyone else who just doesn't like turkey, potatoes are the most commonly eaten Thanksgiving food, according to research group NPD.
All those holiday dishes send sales of potatoes skyrocketing during the holidays — last year, sales were up 64% in Thanksgiving compared to the week prior.
"During the holidays, potatoes are our biggest seller in fresh produce," said Molly Blakeman, a spokesperson at Walmart, the country's largest grocer. In November and December, the discount retailer sells more than 210 million pounds of bagged potatoes and over 1,000 truckloads of sweet potatoes.
It's the type of starchy gorgefest that hits a soft spot for potato nerds like David Holm, a researcher at Colorado State University who has been breeding all manner of spuds since 1978, including colorful potatoes like Purple Majesty and the pink-fleshed Mountain Rose.
Another variety dubbed Masquerade bears a trademark purple and gold tie-dye pattern on the skin. "It's always pleasing to know we have a variety that helps someone, a consumer or a producer," he said in an interview with BuzzFeed News.
The lumpy tuber may have a moment in the spotlight on this food-centric holiday, but potatoes are a central part of American cuisine year-round. They're America's leading vegetable crop according to the US Department of Agriculture, thanks in large part to our love of French fries and chips. Processed food businesses purchase more than half of all potatoes sold in the US, meaning most potatoes are not eaten fresh.
As the crop plays such a pivotal role in our diets, researchers like Holm have been working to breed or engineer a better potato.
I asked Holm what the iPhone of potatoes would be — the innovation that would change potato farming forever. He laughed, and gave an answer that's a lot less exciting to regular folk than touchscreens and mobile internet. "A lot of research has been on more efficient use of fertilizer," he said — using less nitrogen can save money and is better environmentally.
There are other pressing concerns too, like disease resistance. The US Department of Agriculture last month approved the commercial planting of two kinds of genetically engineered potatoes — named Ranger Russet and Atlantic — that heroically resist the disease that caused the Irish potato famine, and (slightly less heroically) are also less vulnerable to bruising and black spots. Ranger Russet and Atlantic must now be approved by the Food and Drug Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency. They could soon join the more than 600 varieties of potatoes sold throughout the country.
While potato breeders have historically focused on changes like this that improve the crop for farmers, Holm said in the last 20 years, there's been a greater emphasis on consumers.
Getty Images
Potatoes USA, a potato marketing organization, will readily tell consumers that the standard potato is already an excellent nutritional source — but there's work to be done yet.
The bright colored flesh of the Purple Majesty doesn't only have aesthetic appeal, Holm said — colored tubers are more nutritionally packed. He pointed to research showing that per serving, the purple potatoes contain more antioxidants than pomegranate juice and dried blueberries. He also said that potato extracts have been shown to fight cancer cells in lab tests. Meanwhile, researchers are using potato extracts that boost satiety — the sense of feeling "full" after eating — in dieting products, under the brand name Slendesta.
Of course, most home cooks will just be preparing standard, low-cost russet potatoes this week; the kind that can feed a large party for about $0.29 per pound. But Holm still prefers his Purple Majesties. "You can mash them with evaporated milk and they turn this lovely lavender color," he said. "And it tastes good."
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This Treehouse Inside The World's Oldest Evergreen Rainforest Is Insanely Beautiful
And you can stay the night there.
In Southern Thailand within Khao Sok National Park lives one of the oldest evergreen rainforests in the world. It's dated at over 160 million years old.
BuzzFeed
And inside all the lush greenery, sits Art's Riverview Jungle Lodge. There you can stay in a real-life treehouse surrounded by a whole lot of trees and all sorts of animals.
Monkeys, lizards, and well, a shitload of bugs.
@carina.rossi / Via instagram.com
The hotel even has an insane indoor waterfall shower that makes you feel like you're washing under the real thing.
If Tarzan had a shower, this is what it would have been like.
BuzzFeed
While the rooms don't have any air conditioning, they do have fans and a whole heap of windows.
Which you can safely leave open while you sleep thanks to the heavy mosquito nets that keep out any nasties.
BuzzFeed
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19 Photos Show What Life Is Like In Newly-Red Michigan
A Donald Trump sign hangs from a building in Sanford, Michigan seen on Nov. 14, 2016. The village of Sanford has a population of 859 according to the 2010 census.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
On election night, when the results started rolling in and people couldn't believe what was happening, a new reality emerged: Michigan voted Republican.
We sent Theophil Syslo out to photograph the lesser-seen counties that played such a pivotal role in the election. The tri-city area in Michigan includes Midland, Saginaw, and Bay City. Midland has always been a bastion of red, but all of the surrounding counties, a mix of rural and urbane, voted twice for President Obama — and then flipped for Donald Trump, helping him to win Michigan by a narrow margin.
"There are many places that looked like they had been struggling, places where people and businesses had left and no one had returned to fill the void," Syslo said. "Younger people are migrating from the rural areas and going to cities so the landscape is changing. I did noticed a lot of Americana and patriotism, regardless of who someone voted for, people were very much rooting for this country."
"The Midwest is known for being polite, and during my coverage of the end of the presidential election, the region lived up to that standard. People were respectful, but they were also cautious to enter into a conversation about politics," he added. "For example, one person who voted for Trump, didn’t come out and blatantly say he voted for Trump, but instead discussed the movement that was started and where he wanted this country to head.
"Another had a lack of trust and thought Hillary would not support this region’s best interest, 'She is in someone's pocket and with Trump, at least we know what we are paying for,'" he recalled her saying. "However, nobody really projected their opinions compared to what you would see on the TV news."
Here's that tri-city area through Syslo's lens:
The VFW Post 1071 on East Railway Street, Coleman, Michigan seen on Nov. 14, 2016. The population was at 1,243 in the 2010 census.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
American flags on display in Sanford, Michigan seen on Nov. 14, 2016. The village of Sanford has a population of 859 according to the 2010 census.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
A barn with a Donald Trump sign is seen from U.S. Highway 2 in Schoolcraft County Michigan on Nov. 12, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
A 1970 Dodge Dart that sits outside of a home in Homer, MI. "It was a pretty ugly mail car from Texas... now it represents the country and the people who serve it," said Chuck Stockton on Nov. 13, 2016. Homer Township is a civil township of Midland County, as of the 2000 census the township population was 3,924.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
A view of Washington Street looking south towards Consumers Energy plant in Midland, MI., on Nov. 13, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Alex Spicuzzi, Andy Ross, Lukas Dexter and Logan Willbanks play a pickup game of rink hockey at Emerson Park in Midland, Michigan on Nov. 13, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
John Johnson, of Midland, and his English springer named Baxter, fish along the Tittabawassee River in Midland, Michigan on Nov. 15, 2016. "Baxter is an old hand at fishing," he said. "He's been doing it for so long."
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
New development along Midland Road and Northwest View Drive in Bay City, Michigan, seen on Nov. 16, 2016. As of the 2010 census, the city's population was 34,932.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
A customer leaves Sanford Hardware in Sanford, Michigan, on Nov. 14, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Bud Rivard of Monitor Charter Township on Nov. 16, 2016. Rivard built his home in 1953 along Midland Road. The township's population was 10,735 as of the 2010 census and is included in the Bay City Metropolitan Statistical Area.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Ken Williams of Bay City, and his sons Kartel and Kamdom chase a kite outside of Duncan's Outdoor Shop in Bay City, Michigan, on Nov. 18, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
A nativity scene sits on top the grass of The Midland County Courthouse located on West Main Street in Midland. The building was constructed in 1924 in the Tudor Style.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
The McClain family, of Saginaw, Michigan, sits for an ice cream dessert at Fuzzy's Restaurant in Saginaw on Nov. 18, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Looking east down Center Avenue from on top of Delta College Planetarium and Learning Center in Bay City on Nov. 18, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Saginaw residents Pedro Rodriguez, left, Jonathan Smith, center, and Greg Pritchett, right, enjoy a smoke break while skating at the Frank N. Andersen Celebration Park Skate Park in Saginaw on Nov. 17, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Mark Shull and Keri Cicciarell sit outside the 75th District Court at the Midland County Courthouse in Midland on Nov. 15, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Justin Cook of Midland, relaxes as Irish's Barber Shop co-owner John Owens cuts his hair on Nov. 16, 2016 in Midland, Michigan.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
Bob Eickholt, an American Legion volunteer, poses for a portrait while sweeping the parking lot at the American Legion Post 18 in Bay City on Nov. 18, 2016.
Theophil Syslo for BuzzFeed News
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This Quiz Will Reveal What % Dominant And Submissive You Are During Sex
Who wears the handcuffs in your bedroom?
When you answer one question, the next will appear. There are 14 altogether. NOW TAKE THE DAMN QUIZ.
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2016's First Great Year-End Mashup Is Here
The best time of year has arrived.
Surprise, bitch. It's year-end mashup season.
Fox
In case you didn't know, right around this time of year, the internet's mashup artists start releasing their year-end mixes.
And we finally have our first great one from 2016.
Andy Wu is one of the internet's best up and coming mashup artists. This year, he mashed up 90 of the biggest hits of 2016 into a 10 minute long video that is frankly, iconic.
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These Siblings Took Their Santa-Obsessed Dog To Meet The Real Deal And It's Almost Too Pure
“She was definitely the most excited dog there.”
So, when the siblings saw an ad for "pet photos with Santa" at the mall, they knew they had to take Kya to meet her hero.
They went on Monday, along with their other dog, Lucy.
"A lot of people were taking pictures with their dogs," Angelina said. “But we were like, 'Nah, it’s just going to be the dog.'"
John Montaldo / Via Instagram: @kyastagram
The photo turned out perfectly:
John Montaldo / Via Instagram: @kyastagram
JUST LOOK AT THAT HAPPY PUPPY FACE.
John said Lucy was afraid of the mall Santa, but that Kya — who is "usually super crazy and hyper" — got really, really calm.
"She just sat there and looked at him," Angelina said. "She usually misbehaves when we take her to Petsmart, but she was behaving for Santa."
John Montaldo / Via Instagram: @kyastagram
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Can You Guess The TV Show Based On The Thanksgiving Scene?
It’s not a holiday without a television special.
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9 Slightly Odd Things All British People Do
We’ll never tell the hairdresser we hate our new haircut.
Ending a phone call to the gas people / broadband people / tax person / doctor / council / funeral director with these three exact words:
Always those three words, it's uncontrollable, it's in your DNA.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Genuinely falling out with someone over a biscuit*.
*It's definitely a biscuit
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Apologising when someone bashes into you in the street.
But calling them a bastard silently in your head.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Apologising when your food is bad in a restaurant.
And feeling incredibly paranoid that the waiter hates you.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
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