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"Merry""Christmas" From Your Lawyer

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You are being billed, by the second, rounded up to the nearest hour, as you read this heartfelt greeting.

Here's the long version:

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).


Via.

Source: moremonmouthmusings.net


12 Days Of Grumpy Cat Christmas

20 Deliciously Geeky Pieces Of Gingerbread Art

11 Food Trends That Need To Die In 2013

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Dear Sriracha, Pickles, and Sriracha Pickles: You've had a great run. Let's move on, shall we?

Pickle Fever

Pickle Fever

Source: sfgate.com

Sure, yes, pickles are pretty cool. And there’s a certain thrill in finding dark horse pickles embedded in otherwise familiar food situations (“Whoa, guys, is that FENNEL?”). But the pickle is a cunning, wily creature, content to lie in wait for months — even years — to achieve its ends, and the ugly truth is that we have finally reached PEAK PICKLE. At this point, there’s only one course of action: Put the jar down. Back away from the beets. It’s going to be OK.

The Sriracha Epidemic

The Sriracha Epidemic

Source: theoatmeal.com

At first, it seems like hot sauce from the heavens: a delicious, easily squeezable answer to all our prayers. Sriracha mayo? Great, A+, whatever you can do to make straight-up mayo less despicable (YEAH, BIG MAYO, YOU HEARD ME). But then it doesn't stop. Sriracha starts to show up in everything.

Sriracha lollipops! Sriracha peach cobbler! A sriracha cookbook! An entire section of The Oatmeal's online shop devoted to Sriracha lip balm and other Sriracha-related novelties!

Sriracha contagion spreads and spreads and spreads. It becomes a long, spicy, national nightmare. No one can find their loved ones because their eyes are watering too much from constant Sriracha fumes. The CDC begins distributing Sriracha-flavored face masks. Chris Christie emblazons a sriracha bottle on his fleece jacket. This will never end. Sriracha is our past, our present, and our future. We are Sriracha. Sriracha is us.


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The 9 Best Answers From Mark Cuban's Christmas Eve Reddit AMA

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Everyone's favorite billionaire did an AMA on Christmas Eve, proving once again, he's the best.

On Deron Williams (who blamed Cuban's absence at a meeting on why he didn't sign with Dallas).

On Deron Williams (who blamed Cuban's absence at a meeting on why he didn't sign with Dallas).

On the Kardashian matriarch (whom he dealt with when Lamar Odom played for the Mavs).

On the Kardashian matriarch (whom he dealt with when Lamar Odom played for the Mavs).

On "Making it rain."

On "Making it rain."

On his nemesis, NBA commissioner David Stern.

On his nemesis, NBA commissioner David Stern.


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Portrait Of Snoop Dogg Made From Weed

The 19th Cat Of Christmas

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This truly amazing cat is named Bert.

Submitted by Buzzfeed Animals reader Becky Berger.

Source: bertandobie

Michelle And Bo Obama Read "Twas The Night Before Christmas"

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The reactions of the kids are priceless. Official White House video, released just last night, of the First Lady and First Dog reading the Christmas classic at the Children's National Medical Center in Washington, DC on December 15th. Little A.J. Murray and Jordyn Akuoko steal the show.

Image by Jacquelyn Martin / AP

Image by Jacquelyn Martin / AP

Image by Jacquelyn Martin / AP


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What Lawmakers Tweeted On Their Christmas Vacation

The Hot Doll This Christmas — Godbaby™

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He cries. He wees. He saves the world.

He's cuter than your baby.

This December, the Churches Advertising Network (a UK ecumenical charity made up of communications officers from England’s various Protestant churches) has been running this Godbaby™ poster in print and outdoor locations to remind consumerist heathens about the reason for the season.

Back in 2010, the Network raised quite the furor when they placed an Ultrasound Jesus poster (below) at bus stops around England.

Do you have womb in your life for Jesus?

A Santa Dog Skateboards In Japan

5 Blunt Trophies

What's Your Family's Best-Ever Christmas Photo?

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Whether it's your uncle passed out under the tree or your best present ever, let's all share the classic picture that says “Happy Holidays” to us.

A few examples from BuzzFeed to get us started...

A few examples from BuzzFeed to get us started...

Lili's family coordinating.

Source: lilis2

Stacy's grandfather, two uncles, and dad.

Source: stacylambe

Me and my brother receiving our first Nintendo.

Source: chiclet


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A Hateful Post-It From A 7-Year-Old

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My eldest sister left my middle sister a post-it note. It is full of rage.

Barrie -

I hate your guts and wish you would drop dead. This quarter is not your quarter, it is out of my pocket. So if I ever really find your ugly quarter it's mine. Fair. ANy my god be my witness, you stole my box and quilt cover you over....

I'm not speaking to you, nerdy creepy demond.


(do you like how my dad saved this exchange between my two sisters and dated it?! HOW cute!)

LINK: Submit your own keepsakes to our "show and tell" nostalgia project.

The 20 Cats Of Christmas

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We've made a list and we've checked it twice, and these are the nicest of the nice (cats). Cats!

The first cat of Christmas...

The first cat of Christmas...

Via: mjs538

The second cat of Christmas...

The second cat of Christmas...

Via: expresident

The third cat of Christmas...

The third cat of Christmas...

Source: amymariani

The fourth cat of Christmas...

The fourth cat of Christmas...

Source: donnad


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A Giant F'ing Snow Walrus

24 Bubbly Cocktails For Your New Years Party

Courtney Stodden And Doug Hutcherson Are Here To Ruin Your Christmas

D.C. Starbucks Cups Call For Fiscal-Cliff Action

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Did you get a “Come Together” scrawled on your cup this morning? Here's why.

Source: instagram.com

In a blog post Wednesday, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz explained why the company asked its D.C. partners to write the message on customers' cups — something it's never done before:

"Rather than be bystanders, we have an opportunity — and I believe a responsibility — to use our company’s scale for good by sending a respectful and optimistic message to our elected officials to come together and reach common ground on this important issue. This week through December 28, partners in our Washington D.C. area stores are writing “Come Together” on customers’ cups.

It’s a small gesture, but the power of small gestures is what Starbucks is about! Imagine the power of our partners and hundreds of thousands of customers each sharing such a simple message, one cup at a time."

Not all D.C.-area Starbucks locations joined in, at least according to some tweets. But here are a few coffee consumers who did get the message:

Source: instagram.com

Via: instagram.com


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Two NBA Stars Won The Ugly Christmas Clothing Game

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Mine eyes have seen the glory.

This is Blake Griffin and Chris Paul of the Los Angeles Clippers. They are two of the best players in the NBA, but more importantly they won Christmas.

This is Blake Griffin and Chris Paul of the Los Angeles Clippers. They are two of the best players in the NBA, but more importantly they won Christmas.

Image by Jae Hong / AP


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