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An NFL Team In London Would Be America's Final Revenge On The British

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A London team would lose pretty much all the time. It would serve them right for taxation without representation, though.

Via: Ben Margot / AP

A lot of smart people think Roger Goodell and the NFL are dead-set on moving the Jacksonville Jaguars — and, failing that, some other, any other team — to London. Keen-eyed readers will have already noted that London is not on the same continent as the rest of the NFL's existing teams. And West Coast squads like the San Francisco 49ers already bemoan their long trips. How do you think they'll like 10+ hour flight to London? Of course, the league can accomodate visiting teams with comforting byes after their trips, as it already does for the teams that play in the NFL's annual Wembley Stadium contest. Playing abroad also gives them a nice marketing opportunity. The bigger problem, though, will be for this London team. They're going to get their asses kicked.

The London Jaguars — let's assume for a moment that this will be their name, though it makes them sound awfully like the New York Red Bulls, i.e. some symphonic marriage of product and opportunity — would play eight games in London and eight games in the continental United States. During the 2012 NFL season, the longest road trip was Seattle flying to Miami to face the Dolphins, a distance of ~2,700 miles; every single London away game would be a longer trip than that. If the league tries to mitigate this by creating lengthy away stints for the Jaguars, they'll be stranding players far away from their native practice facilities and, presumably, families and homes.

What would likely make the most sense logistically is these long road trips, though, making their schedule an absolutely excruciating gauntlet of away games. And even at home, their opponents will constantly be getting up emotionally for a "special" game. The crowning injury might be night games. Historically, teams from the East Coast lose to teams from the West Coast in night contests, because 8:30 pm isn't a natural time to be performing strenuous athletic activity in the first place, and when you factor in the time difference, by the time the game is over the East Coast teams can feel like they're playing at 2:30 in the morning.

Considering London's geographic location, they'll be the ultimate East Coast team. London is five hours behind New York City, meaning that an 8:30 pm EST start would feel like 1:30 am London time to them. Considering the havoc this would wreak on a player's mental and physical performance, it may not even be realistic for the London Jags to play in primetime, and since primetime is regarded as the NFL's premier platform for spotlighting teams and games, that would marginalize its value as a franchise.

At this point, all indications are that Goodell's pretty set on the NFL in London. But — and this doesn't even include issues like luring free agents and coaches out to London — what might be good for league might not be good for the guinea-pig franchise. At least if it cares about winning. Which the Jaguars haven't, traditionally. So I guess they're all set.


These NYC Subway Portraits From The '60s Are Marvelous

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What is it about spying on people on the train — no matter what decade — that’s just so delightful?

These portraits were taken by Irving I. Herzberg in the NYC subway in the '60s and '70s...proof that people not knowing they're being watched are the most fascinating types.

These portraits were taken by Irving I. Herzberg in the NYC subway in the '60s and '70s...proof that people not knowing they're being watched are the most fascinating types.

Via: Courtesy Brooklyn Public Library/Irving I. Herzberg

Via: Courtesy Brooklyn Public Library/Irving I. Herzberg

Via: Courtesy Brooklyn Public Library/Irving I. Herzberg


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10 Animals You Didn’t Know Existed

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So weird… So cute… So scary…

Please Allow This Crazy Dutch Giant To Tell You How To Win A Bar Fight

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BANG, I just slit your throat.

Via: Robin Marchant / Getty Images

Bas Rutten is a retired Dutch MMA fighter and known badass. He was the heavyweight champion of UFC. The fourth sentence in his Wikipedia bio is "As a fighter, one of his favorite tactics was the liver shot." He was once in a movie called The Smashing Machine in which, naturally, he played himself. Bas Rutten will punch your liver in the face.

Rutten is now the host of a few MMA TV shows, one on Fuel TV and the other on AXS.tv. He has an MMA gym in California. He's an accomplished man in his field, is what we're saying.

But nothing Bas Rutten ever does for the rest of his life will be as amazing and incredible as the self-defense bar-fight video he made at what looks like some point in the 1990s. Which you can see below, expertly edited by an anonymous genius from a defunct-looking site called The Guy Network.

When a video featuring a giant Dutch beast-man starts with the phrase "everybody underestimates the kick in the groin," you know you're watching a good video.

Below, a few of our favorite self-defense takeaways.


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Yankees Fan Catches A Foul Ball, Celebrates For About Five Freakin' Hours

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A very exciting moment for the young man.

In the top of the third inning of last night's Yankees/Mariners game, a fan caught a foul ball and then proceeded to perform an over-the-top celebration, with moves straight out of a mid-1990s music video, for what seemed like several days.

As you can see, it was a nice grab, and he was super pumped about it.

One high five wasn't enough.


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Watch This Baby Sea Lion Hijack A Boat

What Happened To Melissa McCarthy's Face In The UK Poster For "The Heat"?

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She looks…different.

This is Melissa McCarthy in The Heat, a buddy cop comedy co-starring Sandra Bullock (left) that opens in the U.S. on June 28.

This is Melissa McCarthy in The Heat , a buddy cop comedy co-starring Sandra Bullock (left) that opens in the U.S. on June 28.

Via: 20th Century Fox

This is Melissa McCarthy on the UK poster for The Heat, which opens there July 31.

This is Melissa McCarthy on the UK poster for The Heat , which opens there July 31.

Notice anything different?

Source: impawards.com

Again, this is McCarthy in The Heat.

Again, this is McCarthy in The Heat .

Via: Gemma La Mana

This is McCarthy on the UK poster.

This is McCarthy on the UK poster.


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18 Rules Of Attending A Sporting Event As An Adult

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Get it together people.

Don't piss yourself.

Don't piss yourself.

Via: Ryan Pierse / Getty Images

Don't riot.

Don't riot.

Source: i.imgur.com

Don't try to shove your middle finger up a player's nose.

Don't try to shove your middle finger up a player's nose.

Via: Steve Mitchell/USA Today

Don't do ANYTHING this guy is doing.

Don't do ANYTHING this guy is doing.

Source: deadspin.com


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An Ode To The Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder

Amorous Moose Finds Love In All The Wrong Places

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Sometimes love is blind. And stone cold.

Lately, a moose hungry for some lovin' has been spotted in the Colorado mountain town of Grand Lake. Here, you can see him seducing the camera.

Lately, a moose hungry for some lovin' has been spotted in the Colorado mountain town of Grand Lake. Here, you can see him seducing the camera.

But things are about to get weird.

Via: on9news.tv

The lustful moose can't even look you in the eye for what he's about to do.

The lustful moose can't even look you in the eye for what he's about to do.

So wrong, yet so right.

Via: on9news.tv

Here, Amorous Moose ponders his next move with his love interest. Should he ask permission now or forgiveness later?

Here, Amorous Moose ponders his next move with his love interest. Should he ask permission now or forgiveness later?

One guess as to which route of courtship he chooses. Prepare yourself for the events that follow.

Via: on9news.tv

Silence is not consent.

Via: on.fb.me


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Which Manu Ginobili Wizard Pass Is More World-Shattering?

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This guy is seriously not human.

Thursday night, the Spurs had a hell of a game to beat the Heat. But two of the top three highlights both came from Manu Ginobili. And they were both passes. Here's the first:

Thursday night, the Spurs had a hell of a game to beat the Heat. But two of the top three highlights both came from Manu Ginobili. And they were both passes. Here's the first:

Let's get a little snug with that camera. That's right: Ginobili throws the ball threw Norris Cole's legs. There's no way this could have been on purpose. But it doesn't even matter.

Let's get a little snug with that camera. That's right: Ginobili throws the ball threw Norris Cole's legs. There's no way this could have been on purpose. But it doesn't even matter.

Unbelievably, Manu topped himself later that quarter. Look at the english (spanish?) on this thing.

Unbelievably, Manu topped himself later that quarter. Look at the english (spanish?) on this thing.

This is beautiful. I want it woven into a quilt. I want this pass to warm me in the dead of winter.

This is beautiful. I want it woven into a quilt. I want this pass to warm me in the dead of winter.


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Jimmy Kimmel's "Baby Bachelor" Is The Most Adorable Reality Show Ever

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Starring Kimmel’s toddler nephew, Wesley.

So It Turns Out That Virginia Is Kinda Weird

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They’ve got weird laws about sex and everything. Just ask indie rockers Eternal Summers.

Virginia is home to Missy Elliot...

Virginia is home to Missy Elliot...

Via: Ian Gavan / Getty Images

...Ken Cuccinelli...

...Ken Cuccinelli...

Via: Steve Helber / AP

...and these guys.

Source: youtube.com


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The "Game Of Thrones" Music Video We All Have Been Waiting For

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Straight out of Westeros comes the Game of Thrones Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle! Warning! Some spoilers and NSFW language.

Source: youtube.com  /  via: stage5.tv

Snoop Lion Dispenses Fatherly Advice In His Soap Opera Acting Debut

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Mr. Lion (née Dogg) did a cameo spot on the soap opera One Life To Live . In the clip, he sits with Robert Gorrie (Matthew Buchanan) to talk fatherhood.

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The NowThis News app is live -- and it's FREE! Download it.


Basketball Player Answers Completely Normal Question With Reference To Pig Genitals

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Um, what?

One of the funniest story lines of the NBA playoffs has been the resurrection of onetime star/ballhog Tracy McGrady as a scrub on the San Antonio Spurs, who are now playing the Heat in the NBA Finals.

Via: Eric Gay / AP

Once a perennial All-Star, McGrady is now filling out the end of the Spurs' bench. A lot of good teams will bring in past-their-prime vets to fill out a roster, the idea being that these guys have been around the block and know how to show up on time, stay ready, and keep quiet in a way a younger, more headstrong player might not.

Basically, teams are hoping that these players will not create bizarre distractions like the one T-Mac created today when a reporter asked him if he's prepared to play major minutes should the Spurs need him to.

Via: Eric Gay / AP


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Choupette Lagerfeld Gets Her First "Vogue" Cover

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Oh, and Linda Evangelista is there too.

Here's Choupette giving her best bedroom eyes on the cover of German Vogue's July issue.

Here's Choupette giving her best bedroom eyes on the cover of German Vogue 's July issue.

There's an editorial lensed by her human, Karl, accompanying the cover. The shoot co-stars supermodel Linda Evangelista; coincidentally, Choupette now won't get out of her basket for less than $10,000 worth of organic cat food.

Via: models.com

Choupette previously featured in a V magazine editorial, and on a Grazia cover — but she probably didn't pose for that, so it doesn't count. For more of her editorial work visit her page at models.com.

The Isolated Vocal Track Of Freddie Mercury And David Bowie Singing "Under Pressure" Is Amazing

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It’s hard not to think of this song without thinking of its iconic bass riff.

Freddie Mercury and David Bowie's Isolated Vocal Track For "Under Pressure":

According to Open Culture, tensions ran extremely high and egos clashed between, David and Freddie, while recording the mega-hit single. The final version of "Under Pressure" evolved from a jam session, which took place over a 24-hour period in the summer of 1981, at Mountain Studios in Montreux, Switzerland.

In 2008, Queen guitarist Brian May spoke with Mojo magazine about the collaboration, saying: “It was very hard because you already had four precocious boys and David, who was precocious enough for all of us. Passions ran very high. I found it very hard because I got so little of my own way. But David had a real vision and he took over the song lyrically.”

Listen to Queen, "Under Pressure":

LINK: Via: Open Culture

23 Ways To Be A Better Roommate

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You can make living with people more fun, and not an effing nightmare.

If your roomie hates laundry, add a dash of Robert Downey Jr. to their load.

If your roomie hates laundry, add a dash of Robert Downey Jr. to their load.

Source: imgur.com

When you need your roommate to clean up their shit, make it entertaining.

When you need your roommate to clean up their shit, make it entertaining.

Source: imgur.com

Be supportive when your roomie has something major to deal with.

Be supportive when your roomie has something major to deal with.

Referencing Bill O'Reilly helps.

Source: imgur.com

If you have loud sex, make sure to share the love.

If you have loud sex, make sure to share the love.

DONUT LOVE. Jesus.

Source: imgur.com


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The Brave US Senators Using Vine

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There are very few.

The Senate approved of Vines this week in an act of unparalleled congressional foresight.

The Senate approved of Vines this week in an act of unparalleled congressional foresight.

The only problem is there are less that 10 Senators on Vine.

The only problem is there are less that 10 Senators on Vine.

Harry Reid's a bit awkward.

And Reid does not actually have an account.

Mike Crapo Vineing his name placard.


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