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Jay Z And JT's "Legends Of Summer" Tour Will Make You Feel Like You're 14 Again

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All the times we blushed, fawned, and cried out in joy over the two stars.

Whatever your feelings about Magna Carta Holy Grail or The 20/20 Experience, or Jay's Samsung deal, or JT's supposed contractually obligated return to music, there's absolutely no denying that these two guys put on one hell of a show.

Jay Z and Justin Timberlake's summer tour is a master class in what a concert should be — an experience — and a reminder of just why they're legends in the first place.

But besides their expert showmanship, there's the surprising element of rabid mania and shrieks of joy and adoration they're still able to elicit from grown women and men alike. (In Justin's case, I guess you can take the boy out of the boy band, but you can't take the boy band out of the boy?) Let us count the ways in which they transform their audience into a pack of idolizing middle schoolers.

Via rap-up.com

When Jay Z and Justin finally appear together onstage, it doesn't matter how cool and collected you were trying to be — you're ready to wild out for the next couple hours.

When Jay Z and Justin finally appear together onstage, it doesn't matter how cool and collected you were trying to be — you're ready to wild out for the next couple hours.

Photograph by Ian Doreian / @LoroxPhotog

Every time Justin skips across the stage, your heart skips for joy.

Via instagram.com

Oh, hello.

Via instagram.com


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The "Creative Process" Explained By Comics

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Calvin & Hobbes get it right.

Amen.

Amen.

A good take on the worst buzz-phrase in the history of business.

A good take on the worst buzz-phrase in the history of business.

We all know this asshole.

We all know this asshole.


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Why Does “Austenland” Have A Sexual Assault?

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And why doesn’t it bother anyone in the movie? Spoilers.

Mr. Wattlesbrook (Rupert Vansittart) leers at Jane (Keri Russell).

Sony Classics

Austenland — which opens in theaters tomorrow and is based on a novel by Shannon Hale — is a cute if often insipid romantic comedy about a woman whose life is consumed by Jane Austen novels. Somewhat desperately, the protagonist, Jane Hayes (Keri Russell), goes to a Regency-style live-in theme park where she finds out cookie-cutter fictional love is not what she wants, and then in the end she gets it anyway. For some reason, Austenland writer/director Jerusha Hess — who previously co-wrote Napoleon Dynamite — decided to throw a sexual assault into the movie. (The filmmakers did not respond to repeated requests for comment.)

Jane, walking alone through the beautiful house at night, is surprised and then threatened by Mr. Wattlesbrook (Rupert Vansittart), the elderly husband of the woman who runs the place. He attempts to force himself on Jane — the precise nature of the sexual contact he wants is unclear, but Jane makes it clear verbally and physically that the contact is unwanted. She eventually knocks him to the ground to get him to stop.

"This is so not Regency-appropriate," she says, and I take it this is supposed to lend some levity to the situation. Awesome, a joke. Just what this scene needed. So hilarious to suggest that the old-timey setting is what makes this inappropriate. Ironically, her joke also suggests that sexual assault is more inappropriate in the early 1800s than it is in 2013. Maybe Jane thinks rape didn't exist in the Regency?

The scene where Mr. Wattlesbrook throws himself at Jane and won't stop until she knocks him over seems to have nothing to do with the plot for quite some time, despite the fact that Jane and her attacker continue to live under the same fancy roof. The characters never talk about it again; that is, until Jane gets angry at Mrs. Wattlesbrook (Jane Seymour) and threatens to sue.

"I wasn't the first guest Mr. Wattlesbrook assaulted, was I?" Jane says, using the sexual assault as a threat.

This is how it comes up again — it's not "Jane feels traumatized" or "someone confronts the senile sexual predator"; it's "Jane tries to use sexual assault against another woman."

Why Austenland needed to have a sexual assault as a plot device at all is mystifying; why it needed to act as if this sexual assault was harmless is outright offensive.

Watch Bryan Cranston's Preparation H Commercial

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“When your hemorrhoids are Breaking Bad…”

Nice 80s hair, Heisenberg. Hey, at least he's talking science.

Who To Watch As Sochi Approaches

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Here are some of the athletes, advocates, and LGBT activists who will be part of the international conversation about sports and human rights.

Johnny Weir

Johnny Weir

Whether or not he actually skates in Sochi, Weir (a sixth-place finisher in Vancouver) plans to be a constant presence in and around the Olympic scene. He made that abundantly clear in a recent interview with Canadian television, and he, more than any other athlete in the world right now, has the chance to become the primary face and voice of the LGBT rights movement on the ground as the Games are in progress. He even went so far recently as saying he's willing to be arrested in Russia in order to make a point about his commitment to LGBT equality.

AP / LEHTIKUVA, Antti Almo-Kolvisto

Nikolai Alexeyev

Nikolai Alexeyev

Nikolai Alexeyev is arguably the most visible LGBT activist in Russia. He's led efforts for Moscow Pride since 2005 and has been beaten, harassed, and arrested several times as a result. In May 2012, Alexeyev became the first person to be arrested under St. Petersburg's anti-gay propaganda law after holding a sign that said “Homosexuality is not a perversion” in front of Smolny Institute. As of this week, he may soon face charges for tweeting about Russia's state-sanctioned homophobia.

Denis Tyrin / AP

Ireen Wüst

Ireen Wüst

A gold medalist in 2006 (3,000-meter speed skating) and 2010 (1,500-meter), Wüst is a national hero in her native Netherlands, where speed-skating is the most highly regarded sport of all. Wüst talked openly about her girlfriend, another Dutch speed-skater, in a 2009 TV interview, and she'll be gunning for gold in her third consecutive Olympics. And a dominant performance at the World Championships in Sochi this past March means she may be the favorite in both events for which she's previously won gold. That would mean lots of prime medal stand time for a show of support.

Grigory Dukor / Reuters

Andre Banks

Andre Banks

On Aug. 7, members of All Out, which Andre Banks co-founded, traveled to Switzerland to deliver a petition against Russia's anti-gay laws to the IOC. The petition had more than 300,000 signatures. Twenty-four hours later, Banks showed up at the front gate of the Russian consulate in New York City to give Vitaly Churkin, Russian's United Nations ambassador, a copy as well. As the executive director of All Out, which specifically focus on LGBT causes abroad and boats a membership of more than 1.8 million people in 190 countries, Andre Banks may well prove to be one of the loudest American voices in the outcry against Russia's anti-gay law.

Jorge Rivas


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Twitter Reacts To Oprah's Interview With Lindsay Lohan

Alexander Skarsgard Went Full Frontal On "True Blood"

One Reason To Love The Seattle Police

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Law enforcement at its best.


15 Super-Cool Logos

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And, one super-bad one.

Committee of Organ Donation in Lebanon.

Committee of Organ Donation in Lebanon.

Via copyranter.blogspot.com

For an anti-racism festival in Greece, 2010.

For an anti-racism festival in Greece, 2010.

Via dimiourgikakimata.gr

The Guild of Food Writers

The Guild of Food Writers

Symbionese Liberation Army

Symbionese Liberation Army

Definitely the coolest ever terrorist group logo.
(See more terrorist group logos here)
The seven-headed cobra is an ancient Sri Lankan symbol.
If you're too young to know what the SLA was, and who the famous heiress in the photo is, here.


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19 Awesome Eye Makeup Ideas For Asians

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The monolid is your playground.

Add a little black eyeliner in the crease, and in the inner corner.

Add a little black eyeliner in the crease, and in the inner corner.

And remember to BLEND! This look is created with green eyeshadow on the lid, and brown eyeshadow halfway up to the browbone, and then blended to create a softer, more natural eye.

reddit.com

bloggang.com


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Intro To Philosophy From The Deep Thinkers Of Tumblr

1999 Was The Best Year For Summer Songs

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And we’ve been going downhill ever since. Sorry, humanity.

Blink-182, "All the Small Things"

Blink-182, "All the Small Things"

tumblr.com

The world sat on the cusp of a new millenium. It was a trying time, all anyone really wanted was some quality Southern California pop punk. Enter Blink-182, Green Day's younger, brattier siblings. "All the Small Things" is not only Blink's best known track, it's also the best summer anthem basically ever about being young and in love and stuff.

LEN, "Steal My Sunshine"

LEN, "Steal My Sunshine"

consequenceofsound.net

THIS SONG IS LITERALLY ABOUT SUMMER. Get it? A summer jam. About summer. Why complicate it?


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Stop And Take A Moment To Appreciate Tom Welling

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Let’s be honest, the only reason we watched a show about Superman going through puberty was for this magnificent, beastly creature.

If it's possible, which it is, he is actually the perfect mix between boyishly handsome and fiercely masculine.

If it's possible, which it is, he is actually the perfect mix between boyishly handsome and fiercely masculine.

Via celebritypicnic.com

His physical beauty is second to none.

His physical beauty is second to none.

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

What must it be like to be the perfect specimen of a man, all other men wonder.

What must it be like to be the perfect specimen of a man, all other men wonder.

Courtesy of The CW / Via fanpop.com

How does one roll out of bed and look this glorious?

How does one roll out of bed and look this glorious?

Photo by Vince Bucci / Getty Images


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Can You Make It Through These Photos Without Smashing Your Computer?

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Surely you can look at this post without AKL!FDSA;HS;UGGGGH.

Welcome to this post! Thank you for accepting this important challenge. We were looking for someone special, and I guess...

Welcome to this post! Thank you for accepting this important challenge. We were looking for someone special, and I guess...

blog.floydius.com

Things might get a little difficult, but remember:

Things might get a little difficult, but remember:

irclog.perlgeek.de

It's important to always follow the rules, so make sure you read all the way to the end of this post, OK?

It's important to always follow the rules, so make sure you read all the way to the end of this post, OK?

reddit.com

Ready? Here we go. First, here's a really cool sign!

Ready? Here we go. First, here's a really cool sign!

elvenjewel.dreamwidth.org


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27 Pictures That Will Change The Way You Look At The World


7 Ways To Make A Better Kale Salad

27 Breathtaking Record Stores You Have To Shop At Before You Die

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Surely the best thing about traveling the world is finding all the best record shops, right?

Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, California

Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, California

soundz.egloos.com

The world-renowned Amoeba Records lives up to its hype. With a frequently changing stock of new and used media, you can basically get whatever you want here. Oh, and did I mention that it's gigantic? The entire store is 24,000 square feet and houses over 100,000 CDs, vinyl records, cassettes, DVDs, laser discs, and more.

okayafrica.com

12 Tonar in Reykjavik, Iceland

12 Tonar in Reykjavik, Iceland

guidepal.com


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22 Dogs Who Are Just Really Excited To Be Dogs

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You can’t even begin to understand how exciting it is to be a dog.

This dog who can't even believe she gets to be a dog and frolic naked in the grass whenever she wants.

This dog who can't even believe she gets to be a dog and frolic naked in the grass whenever she wants.

reddit.com

This dog who physically cannot contain how excited he is about being able to shit outside.

This dog who physically cannot contain how excited he is about being able to shit outside.

tumblr.4gifs.com

THIS DOG WHO IS JUST REALLY HAPPY ABOUT WEARING SOCKS BECAUSE IT'S THAT SPECIAL.

THIS DOG WHO IS JUST REALLY HAPPY ABOUT WEARING SOCKS BECAUSE IT'S THAT SPECIAL.

noobgoth.tumblr.com

This dog who is really, super, exceptionally happy about everything because he's a dog and can basically do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

This dog who is really, super, exceptionally happy about everything because he's a dog and can basically do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

reddit.com


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9 Ways To Trick Your Significant Other Into Letting You Watch Sports

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Desperate times, like needing to watch a preseason football game when your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend would rather do literally anything else, call for desperate measures. Here are some of the leading methods of sports-related relationship trickery.

Turn on games you have no interest in watching just to be able to score points by turning them off.

Turn on games you have no interest in watching just to be able to score points by turning them off.

"Change the channel? Well, if you insist, I guess I can live without the third quarter of Raiders-Browns."

Leon Halip / Getty

Lie shamelessly about the quality of dining and shopping options available in the vicinity of any stadium where you want to go to a game.

Lie shamelessly about the quality of dining and shopping options available in the vicinity of any stadium where you want to go to a game.

"Oh, yeah, I'm SURE they have an Anthropologie in the South Bronx."

Jason Kempin / Getty

Describe your favorite players not in terms of their importance to your team (i.e. what you care about), but in terms of the vibrancy of their smiles and their dedication to charity work (i.e. what your significant other might conceivably care about).

Describe your favorite players not in terms of their importance to your team (i.e. what you care about), but in terms of the vibrancy of their smiles and their dedication to charity work (i.e. what your significant other might conceivably care about).

OK, even diehard fans are charmed by a good smile.

Gregory Shamus / Getty

Describe games you want to watch in terms of personality conflicts between players on opposing teams, as if you were selling a television drama.

Describe games you want to watch in terms of personality conflicts between players on opposing teams, as if you were selling a television drama.

Not sure who Patrick Dempsey is in this metaphor.

Craig Sjodin / Getty


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24 OMG Moments From The "Teen Wolf" Midseason Finale

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Whether you watch Teen Wolf for the story or the eye candy — or, most likely, both — the midseason finale had you on the edge of your seat. MAJOR SPOILERS for “Lunar Eclipse.”

When Scott, Stiles, and Allison woke up in a white room with a giant trunk.

When Scott, Stiles, and Allison woke up in a white room with a giant trunk.

An important clue to their parents' whereabouts! Too bad they had to almost die to get there.

MTV

When we flashed back to the pilot.

When we flashed back to the pilot.

Sucks to your ass-mar, baby Scott.

MTV

When Cora was fully healed ... and Derek was struggling.

When Cora was fully healed ... and Derek was struggling.

Dying to save your sister's life is a noble way to go, but also NOT OK. Get well soon, Derek!

MTV

When Ethan showed up to help Derek and Cora escape.

When Ethan showed up to help Derek and Cora escape.

Favorite twin alert.

MTV


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