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18 Post-Super Bowl Episodes By The Numbers

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Fox’s comedies New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine will get the massive post-Super Bowl boost on Sunday night — how will their ratings compare to those of Friends , Grey’s Anatomy , and Survivor ?

Friends (NBC, Jan. 28, 1996)

Friends (NBC, Jan. 28, 1996)

Brooke Shields and Matt LeBlanc.

NBC

52.9 million viewers
(Dallas beat Pittsburgh, 94.1 million viewers)

The Cowboys beat the Steelers in a close game, which made this Super Bowl the most-watched sporting event of all time (at the time). And NBC had stacked the deck of this two-part Friends with guest stars: Julia Roberts played Chandler's former grade-school nemesis, whom he now wants to date; Brooke Shields appeared as Joey's stalker (she's obsessed with his soap opera character); and Jean-Claude Van Damme appeared as himself…with Monica and Rachel fighting over him, good lord. It's the most-watched post-Super Bowl episode ever, the most-watched Friends ever, and ushered in the modern era of using the game as a platform to try to launch an already popular show into the ratings stratosphere by introducing it to a wider audience.

Survivor: The Australian Outback (Jan. 28, 2001)

Survivor: The Australian Outback (Jan. 28, 2001)

Elisabeth Filarski! (Now Hasselbeck.)

CBS

45.4 million viewers
(Baltimore Ravens beat the New York Giants 84.3 million viewers)

In the summer of 2000, Survivor had been a shockingly huge hit and changed television as we know it: The networks' reality era began. The finale of Season 1, during which villain Richard Hatch won the $1 million prize, had brought in more than 50 million viewers on an August night. So CBS decided to premiere its second season after television's biggest platform. The Ravens slaughtered the Giants, but the crappy game didn't affect Survivor's ratings. It ended up being the most popular show of the season. (This Survivor season has the distinction, dubious or wonderful, depending on your bent, of introducing the world to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, née Filarski, the right-wing ex-View co-host, now on Fox & Friends. She came in fourth.)


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21 Reasons Why Old People Are The Best People On The Internet

The Browser Extension That Could Save The Internet

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Text Free Browsing just might get you through the day.

The internet is a dangerous place. Take the right path and sure, it can be a pleasant experience, but even if all goes well, you're mostly just relieved to have come out unscathed. More often than not though, an errant click can serve up abject horror onto your screen or deliver enough ignorance to make your blood instantly boil. And even if you manage to navigate all of that, there's the fatigue, brought about by the relentless cascading of the Feed.

To combat this, web designers Rafaël Rozendaal and Jonas Lund built Text Free Browsing, a Chrome browser extension that acts like an internet minesweeper of sorts, turning off the words and leaving you with a safe, spartan, and far more palatable page. Just follow this link, add the extension, and click on the yellow smiley face emoji to toggle text on and off anywhere online.


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23 Ways Long-Distance BFFs Survive

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Skype date ASAP, please.

You live your life in a succession of countdowns to when you get to see each other next.

You live your life in a succession of countdowns to when you get to see each other next.

Disney / Via drsucre.tumblr.com

You meet up maybe two or three times a year, but whenever you do it feels like no time has passed.

You meet up maybe two or three times a year, but whenever you do it feels like no time has passed.

NBC / Via falafelpatronus.tumblr.com

You've started to get creative with meet-up spots since you've been back and forth to each other's hometowns so many times.

You've started to get creative with meet-up spots since you've been back and forth to each other's hometowns so many times.

Vegas is sort of halfway between New York and Phoenix, right?

Flickr: 66612955@N07

You're constantly jealous of people who get to see their BFFs on the reg.

You're constantly jealous of people who get to see their BFFs on the reg.

Via ohlalajoyce.tumblr.com


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What Time Does The 2014 Super Bowl Start??

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And now you know (what time the 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII starts).

17 Signs You're In A Relationship With A Burrito

Herman Cain: "Ten-Ten Is No Nine-Nine-Nine"

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The former presidential candidate and pizza mogul said on the radio Wednesday President Obama’s proposal to raise the minimum wage to $10.10 was not a “big bold idea” and would only impact a “a very small percentage of the people.”

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Behind The Scenes Things You Did Not See Watching The State Of The Union

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There was a fake glowing fireplace.

Watching from home, the State of the Union looks so pretty and organized.

Watching from home, the State of the Union looks so pretty and organized.

Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

But who's ready to see what this cluster looks like behind the scenes?

But who's ready to see what this cluster looks like behind the scenes?

Larry Downing / Reuters

During the State of the Union the Capitol building becomes a warzone.

During the State of the Union the Capitol building becomes a warzone.

There is no larger annual gathering of important elected representatives all year. So don't even try to cross this line.

There are TONS of police all over the Capitol.

There are TONS of police all over the Capitol.

Fancy policemen have the white gloves on.


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If You Really Move To An "Animal Crossing" Town

21 Things You Don’t Get About Young People If You Were Born Before 1980

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Either we’ve gotten really old or they’ve gotten really weird.

Why they wear drop-crotch pants.

Why they wear drop-crotch pants.

I don't know if these pants look more like factory rejects or a toddler's saggy diaper, but either way they're not cute.

Flickr: strandloper / Via Creative Commons

Their constant texting.

Their constant texting.

Breathe. Text. Breathe. Text. Breathe. Text. Breathe. Text. Breathe...

Via jonathanarogers.com

How they refuse to talk on the phone even to make plans.

How they refuse to talk on the phone even to make plans.

So they don't want to chat on the phone. Fine. But why do they insist on trading 40 texts over 20 minutes to hammer out plans instead of just having a 90-second conversation?

Comedy Central / Via picc.it

The way they describe people as being YouTube, Instagram, or Vine celebrities.

The way they describe people as being YouTube, Instagram, or Vine celebrities.

Can you really call people who sit on their beds and talk into webcams (or make 15-second videos on their phones) celebrities?

youtube.com / Via celebritynetworth.com


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Movies You Should Never Watch With Your Parents

24 Foods You Hated As A Kid But Love Now

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Oh, young you! If only you knew.

Brussels Sprouts

Brussels Sprouts

Then: Everyone else hates it. You should hate it too.
Now: You're an independent thinker—even if everyone else loves BS too?
Eat it like a grown up: Hot & Sour Roasted Brussels Sprouts. Get the recipe.

bonappetit.com

Whole Wheat Bread

Whole Wheat Bread

Then: "This doesn't taste right, mom."
Now: You proudly choose 9-Grain Wheat at Subway and think you deserve a medal. Every time.
Eat it like a grown up: Grilled Cheese with Chicken, Cheddar & Grapes. Get the recipe.

familyfreshcooking.com

Spinach

Spinach

Then: Prejudice against anything green.
Now: All about green smoothies, kale salads, and leafy produce in general.
Eat it like a grown up: Hot Spinach Salad with Pine Nuts & Cranberries. Get the recipe.

bakeoff-flunkie.blogspot.com


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This One-Minute Budweiser Super Bowl Ad Will Reduce You To A Puddle Of Tears

There Is Almost Nothing Charlie Crist Hasn't Flip-Flopped On

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The Democratic candidate for Florida governor has changed his mind about a lot of things.

At the Miami Herald, Marc Caputo has a review of former-Republican-turned-Independent-turned-Democrat Charlie Crist's new book The Party's Over: How the Extreme Right Hijacked the GOP and I Became a Democrat. Caputo notes the book serves as both a 2014 gubernatorial campaign manifesto and an autobiography of Crist's switch from Republican to Democrat, notably skipping over some history for his shift.

Crist has taken a lot of positions over the years on issues. Here are 10 of his biggest flip-flops.

In a 1998 Senate debate, as a Republican, he said he thinks abortion is a personal issue and not a government issue. He later on adds he does support a partial-birth abortion ban.

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As attorney general of Florida and a gubernatorial candidate in 2006, Crist said he would sign a bill that would ban abortion in Florida except in cases of rape and incest.

As attorney general of Florida and a gubernatorial candidate in 2006, Crist said he would sign a bill that would ban abortion in Florida except in cases of rape and incest.

Web Archive

On his 2006 "on the issues" page, Crist says we should do more to "Promote a Culture of Life at every stage of life."

On his 2006 "on the issues" page, Crist says we should do more to "Promote a Culture of Life at every stage of life."

Crist 2006


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Jaden Smith Valentines, Based On Actual Jaden Smith Tweets

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How can love be real if our hearts are trees? #swag

Tim P. Whitby/Stringer / Getty

Gustavo Caballero/Contributor / Getty


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Man Pleads Guilty To Mislabeling Piranhas

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A tropical fish importer mislabeled over 39,000 piranhas that he had imported from Hong Kong throughout 2011 and 2012. The fish were labeled as harmless silver tetras, the Justice Department said.

Joel Rakower, and his corporation, Transship Discounts Ltd., plead guilty to mislabeling imported piranhas, according to the Department of Justice.

Joel Rakower, and his corporation, Transship Discounts Ltd., plead guilty to mislabeling imported piranhas, according to the Department of Justice.

After purchasing the fish from a Hong Kong supplier, Rakower imported them to Queens, N.Y., according to a release from the Justice Department.

Shaun Wilkinson

In March of 2011, just after New York City prohibited possession of piranhas, Rakower had the supplier falsely label the fish.

In March of 2011, just after New York City prohibited possession of piranhas, Rakower had the supplier falsely label the fish.

"Over the course of 2011 and 2012, Transship submitted packing lists to the Fish and Wildlife Service containing false identifications of 39,548 piranhas, worth approximately $37,376, which Transship then sold to fish retailers in several states," the Justice Department said.

nok6716/nok6716

The piranhas were deliberately mislabeled as silver tetras, a harmless and benign fish. Piranhas are extremely aggressive and territorial.

The piranhas were deliberately mislabeled as silver tetras, a harmless and benign fish. Piranhas are extremely aggressive and territorial.

Rakower has agreed to a pay $3,000 fine while Transship is serving a two-year probation and paying two separate $35,000 dollar fines.

“Rakower flouted federal laws meant to protect people and the environment from the illegal trade in wildlife species,” said Acting Assistant Attorney General Dreher. “Mislabeling imported wildlife presents dangers to the public and the environment and we will continue to prosecute these cases.”

andreaskrappweis/andreaskrappweis

Which Gay Best Friend Are You?

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“I was told there would be champagne.”

This Fake Red Hot Chili Peppers Song Is Better Than Any Real Red Hot Chili Peppers Song

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“Abracadabralifornia” is hilarious and they should probably play it at the Super Bowl. “Shopping Cart Escalator!”

While it has a lot of trademark RHCP sounds, it becomes apparent to anyone listening closely that this is a very fake and very hilarious parody.

The primary suspects include popular alt-DJ Jake Fogelnest and King Cyrus King. Comedian Jon Daly and the funny people over at Comedy Bang Bang are also most likely involved as an early rendition of the song appears in this podcast.

(h/t Riley Metcalfe)

youtube.com


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The 26 Craziest Crimes That Involve Taco Bell

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Surprisingly, lots of crazy things have happened at Taco Bells. *Slowly chews a Crunchwrap Supreme*

This list starts out fairly sane. It goes without saying that WE'VE ALL seen a Taco Bell brawl, and most of us have probably bought weed (or seen someone buy weed) there.

BUT...

This is Taco Bell we're talking about. The unofficial #1 home to stoners and drunk people. The place where our stomachs go to die (as in we eat too much and end up in an inevitable food coma). There is no place truly like it.

Via wfsb.com

Via covnews.com

*Yawns*


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"Vampire Academy" Stars Zoey Deutch And Lucy Fry Are Best Friends And It's Adorable

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But how well do they know each other?

We sat down with Zoey Deutch and Lucy Fry to play a game of Friendlyweds.

We sat down with Zoey Deutch and Lucy Fry to play a game of Friendlyweds.

The rules are as follows:

1. We ask a question about one of them (i.e. What is Lucy's favorite movie?)
2. They both write down their responses without showing each other
3. When asked to reveal their answers, they flip the paper and see how they matched up

OK. Ready. Set. Go!

John Gara/BuzzFeed

What is Zoey's favorite color?

What is Zoey's favorite color?

Lucy's guess: Lime green but that's a lie, she doesn't have one.
Zoey's answer: Not pale green! Don't know.

LF: You lied!

ZD: No, I said it's not pale green, don't know.

John Gara/BuzzFeed

What is Lucy's pet peeve?

What is Lucy's pet peeve?

Zoey's guess: Tickling chin.
Lucy's answer: Touching my face.

ZD: OH I GOT IT I GOT IT!

John Gara/BuzzFeed

What food can Zoey not live without?

What food can Zoey not live without?

Lucy's guess: Pasta salad.
Zoey's answer: Mom's salad.

ZD: You know?

LF: I think so. It's hard because you love so many.

ZD: You're writing what you saw on mine!

LF: I looked and realized your pen wasn't making the same shapes as mine! So I got it wrong.

ZD: It's over, Lucy, it's over. Pasta salad?! First it was pasta and now it's salad.

LF: You do love pasta!

John Gara/BuzzFeed


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