“I woke up like thisssss.”
"Only on days that end in -Y"
"Don't worry, either way you aren't my type."
"Why do you ask?"
23 Ways To Respond To The Question: "Are You Gay?"
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Troian Bellisario Has A Refreshing And Valuable Message About True Beauty For Her Pretty Little Fans
“Foundation and a blow dryer do not a woman make.” — Troian Bellisario
The Pretty Little Liars star posted this allusive picture of herself with the following caption on Instagram yesterday:
So, remember:
Via ellestone.net
Because behind every artfully sculpted celeb veneer, a face like this is looking right back at us.
Rock on everyone.
Via wifflegif.com
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23 Circles Of Hell That Should Exist For The Modern Age
It’s about time we dug a few circles deeper.
Tenth Circle:
Adam Ellis
Eleventh Circle:
Adam Ellis
Twelfth Circle:
Adam Ellis
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How Gross Is Your Gross Sex List?
So, who’s the grossest person you’d have sex with?
Via fastcocreate.com
As introduced on this week's episode of Broad City, a Gross Sex List is something everyone should have. For those who don't know, it's basically a list of the grossest celebrities that you'd CONSIDER having sex with.
Complete our checklist to find out just how gross your Gross Sex List is, you filthy, filthy person.
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How To Create The Perfect Online Dating Profile
Use science, get a date.
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51 Things That Are Definitely Better Than Going Out On Friday Night
AKA your Friday night schedule.
NBC
1. Eating an entire medium-sized pizza in bed.
2. Eating an order of warm cheesy bread in bed.
3. Eating a delicious piece of gooey chocolate cake in bed.
4. Telling the pizza delivery man that the medium-sized pizza, cheesy bread and chocolate cake are definitely not just for you and then shutting the door and taking off your pants and eating it all entirely by yourself. In bed.
5. Eating cubes of cheese from a cheese tray in bed.
6. Cutting thick slices from a very large block of cheese and putting them on crackers and eating them in bed.
7. Getting cheese and cracker crumbs all over yourself and not caring because it's Friday night and that's just what happens when you're having fun. In bed.
8. Stalking hot people on Instagram in bed.
9. Accidentally liking a picture of a hot person on Instagram and then unliking it and then hoping they don't see it, but secretly hoping they DO see it and fall in love with you. In bed.
10. Eating hot melty nacho cheese and chips in bed.
11. Eating like seven tacos from a taco truck in bed.
12. Eating an entire box of cereal out of a very large bowl that was definitely not meant for cereal because it's too big but you use it anyway because that's just the size of bowl you need for the amount of sugary cereal you require right now. In bed.
13. Eating an entire package of Oreos in bed.
14. Ordering Chinese food and telling the delivery man the door is open and he should bring it right to your bed and then eating that food in bed.
15. Rubbing your stomach and moaning softly to yourself because you give the best stomach rubs. In bed.
16. Spending at least three hours deciding which movie to watch on Netflix and then giving up and ordering another pizza and eating it. In bed.
17. Eating a big ass sandwich in bed.
18. Eating a bag of lukewarm McDonalds that you carried home in shame. In bed.
19. Eating a full breakfast with pancakes, waffles, hash browns, eggs and your choice of meat in bed.
20. Playing a song you really like but not actually getting up to dance, just kind of shaking back and forth in a horizontal position in bed.
21. Eating fried chicken out of a greasy paper box in bed.
22. Sipping from a glass, but not sitting up beforehand, and then spilling your drink all over yourself and your sheets and your greasy paper box of chicken. In bed.
23. Eating a bowl of spicy chili in bed.
24. Eating a bag of microwaved popcorn in bed.
25. Eating an entire package of regular-sized Swedish fish, NOT the big ones because the big ones are GROSS and too big and why were they even invented in the first place? That's way too big. That's way too big of a Swedish fish. Nobody needs that much Swedish fish in one fish. The small ones are fine, OK? They're fine. That's plenty of fish. IN BED.
26. Eating an entire pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the container in bed.
27. Licking the inside of an empty container of mint chocolate chip ice cream in bed.
28. Drinking an entire bottle of wine in bed.
29. Texting your friends and saying "I REALLY wish I could come out, but I have loads of work to catch up on" and then getting another bottle of wine and watching Netflix for seven hours. In bed.
30. Judging people on Facebook in bed.
31. Watching choreography videos on YouTube, and saying, out loud, to nobody but yourself, "I could totally do that. I could SO do what Beyoncé does." And then ordering another pizza without actually standing up and then eating it. In bed.
32. Shopping for things you absolutely don't need but DESERVE because it's Friday night and it's time to treat yourself. In bed.
33. Seeing your face in your monitor when your chin is down and being momentarily horrified before realizing this is just your Friday night look. And then dimming the lights even further. In bed.
34. Scrolling through Tumblr and laughing maniacally to yourself in bed.
35. Wondering out loud if you should finally just get a cat to really liven up these already action-packed Friday nights. In bed.
36. Eating a bag of Cheetos and wiping the cheesy dust on your bare stomach in bed.
37. Dropping your phone on your face because you were using it right above your head. In bed.
38. Eating a large piece of hot cheesy lasagna in bed.
39. Eating an entire loaf of toasty garlic bread in bed.
40. Eating an entire box of instant macaroni and cheese in bed.
41. Wondering why the one clump of instant mac and cheese cheesy powder didn't absorb into the macaroni noodles and then eating it anyway because you don't want to waste a perfectly good clump of cheese dust. In bed.
42. Looking at pictures of butts on the Internet in bed.
43. Having a big box of warm cookies delivered and then eating all of them. In bed.
44. Scratching your entire body in bed.
45. Eating an entire box of Pop Tarts in bed.
46. Eating a whole 20-piece box of chicken McNuggets in bed.
47. Watching literally every episode of whatever television show you want in bed.
48. Eating an entire bag of tortilla chips with an entire jar of salsa in bed.
49. Literally just not wearing pants in bed.
50. Not wearing anything in bed.
51. Doing absolutely nothing and feeling great about it. In bed.
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26 Things They Only Only Sell At Chinese Wal-Marts
Lots and lots and lots of meat.
If you didn't already know, there are Wal-marts in China.
They look a lot like the ones in the States, but they sell some different things.
ChinaFotoPress / Getty Images
A tub of sausage:
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33 Impossibly Gorgeous Prom Hair Ideas
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Taylor Lautner Flies Across Buildings On The Set Of His New Movie
Just your average day at work!
Taylor, who recently joined the BBC sitcom Cuckoo, was seen practicing his own stunts for the show.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
He was LITERALLY jumping from one building to the other like a small squirrel.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
Do you see!?
Do you see what I mean???
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Which "How I Met Your Mother" Character Are You?
It’s gonna be legen… wait for it… dary!
CBS
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How Internet Fighting Works
Each group has some percentage of crazy assholes that come to represent the whole. Comics by Cat and Girl and Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal .
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57 Things You Might Not Know About Weezer
For one thing, his name is not actually Jonas.
DGC
1. Rivers Cuomo named the band Weezer because that was a nickname given to him by kids in school who teased him for having asthma.
2. Cuomo's dad Frank Cuomo was a drummer in the '60s, and played on jazz saxophonist Wayne Shorter's 1970 album Odyssey of Iska.
3. Cuomo and his younger brother Leaves grew up on a Hindu ashram called Yogaville in Connecticut.
4. Cuomo's first exposure to rock music was Kiss' Rock and Roll Over, which was one of the few records to make it into the culturally isolated Yogaville community.
5. Cuomo was born with his left leg nearly two inches shorter than his right leg. After he became a successful rock star, he underwent a procedure to correct the condition that involved the surgical breaking of the bone in his leg, followed by several months of wearing a steel brace that required self-administered stretching of the leg four times daily.
6. Cuomo wrote his first song when he was 14. It was called "Fight for Your Right," and he described it as a Kiss-style heavy metal anthem.
7. Cuomo formed his first band when he was 14. It was called Fury, and also featured his brother Leaves on guitar. They played a set of three Kiss covers at their first show.
8. His second band was a hair metal group called Avant Garde. They changed their name to Zoom after moving to Hollywood.
9. The first verse of "Say It Ain't So" calls back to a moment in Cuomo's teen years when he opened his refrigerator and saw a beer, and immediately knew that his mother and stepfather were about to get a divorce because his stepfather had started drinking again.
10. Cuomo mentions his stepfather by name — Stephen — in the verse of "Say It Ain't So" directed to his biological father, who had not actually spoken to in years. ("This bottle of Stephen's awakens ancient feelings.")
11. Cuomo was introduced to eventual Weezer members Matt Sharp and Pat Wilson through a co-worker named Pat Finn when he was working at the Tower Records on Sunset Boulevard.
12. Cuomo and Finn started a short-lived band called Fuzz, which evolved into another band called Sixty Wrong Sausages with Finn and Sharp. They only played one show.
13. Cuomo challenged himself to write 50 songs for a new project in December 1991. This batch of songs included future Weezer tunes "Undone," "Only in Dreams," "My Name Is Jonas," and "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here."
14. The first lineup of Weezer — Rivers Cuomo, Pat Wilson, Matt Sharp, and Jason Cropper — officially formed in February 1992.
15. Weezer played their first show ever at a venue called Raji's in West Los Angeles on March 19, 1992.
16. The setlist included "Undone" and "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here" along with early tunes "I Can't Forget the Way" and "The Biggest Animal."
17. The B-side "Mykel & Carli" is a tribute to two of the band's earliest and most devoted fans who went on to become the leaders of the band's fan club. Both girls died along with their sister Trysta in a car accident in 1997.
18. Original Weezer guitarist Jason Cropper was asked to leave the band under mysterious circumstances while they were making their debut album, and had to sign a strict confidentiality agreement banning him from talking about his time in the band to this day. All of Cropper's parts were removed from the record, but he was paid for his work as a full member.
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Here's How An Uncontacted Amazon Tribe Reacted To A Plane Flying Over Their Community
A photographer for Reuters captured these rare photos of an uncontacted tribe in Brazil as they reacted to an overhead plane.
Lunae Parracho / Reuters
These pictures were taken on Tuesday, March 25. They show how a tribe of Indians, considered to be "uncontacted" by anthropologists, reacted to a plane flying over their community in the Amazon basin near the Xinane River in Brazil's Acre state.
Lunae Parracho / Reuters
Uncontacted tribes are peoples who have no peaceful contact with anyone in the mainstream or dominant society. Uncontacted does not mean they have had no contact with anyone else at all.
According to Survival, an organization for tribal peoples' rights, there are about 100 uncontacted tribes in the world.
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26 Tattoos Your Kids Won't Understand
Tattoos are forever. Trends are not.
Film Roll
"Hold up... people actually had to wait to see their photos? And you couldn't select filters?"
VHS Tape
"Not sure what 'be kind, rewind' even means."
Cassette Tapes
"Um, I thought all music was available digitally. You sure those aren't alien drawings?"
Xanga
"So... Xanga was like a really shitty version of Facebook, right?"
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Carl's Jr. Released An Incredibly Sexist "X-Men" Commercial
I’m pretty sure Mystique is strong enough for your burger, Carl.
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19 Cats Who Have Absolutely Had It
If you’re feelin’ cranky, then these cats are your spirit animals.
"Can a guy not hide behind the car UNDISTURBED for TEN MINUTES??"
Reddit: yanabanana / Via i.imgur.com
"FROWN, it's today."
Reddit: worldofjorts / Via i.imgur.com
"The hell is this crap."
Reddit: BlackNut / Via i.imgur.com
"What'd you say to me?? Come back and say that to MY FACE."
Reddit: BennAlmighty / Via i.imgur.com
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These Are Emma Watson's Red Carpet Beauty Necessities
Only the good stuff for this lady!
Chris Ritter / Buzzfeed / Via Twitter: @MTV
LINK: To see more of Emma's behind-the-scenes MTV takeover, check out their twitter page!
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35 Odd Baseball Facts That Are Too Strange To Be Made Up
This is why baseball is the best.
1. When Jimmy Pearsall hit his 100th home run in 1963, he ran the bases in the correct order but facing backward to celebrate.
2. Babe Ruth's top salary was $80,000 (in 1930 and 1931). Adjusted for inflation, that's the equivalent of a little more than $1.1 million today (a little less than middle reliever Antonio Bastardo made last year).
3. During World War II, the U.S. military designed a grenade to be the size and weight of a baseball, since "any young American man should be able to properly throw it."
4. Pitcher Jim Abbott was born without a right hand and had a 10-season baseball career, including throwing a no-hitter for the New York Yankees vs. Cleveland in 1993.
Jim Abbott.
5. Bobby Richardson won the World Series MVP in 1960 after hitting .367 with 12 RBIs — he played for the losing team.
6. Bank robber John Dillinger was once a professional second baseman, although he never made it to the major leages.
7. Eddie Gaedel was the shortest man to ever play in a Major League Baseball game. He was 3 feet and 7 inches tall. St. Louis Browns owner Bill Veeck put him in the game as a stunt, saying, "He was, by golly, the best darn midget who ever played big-league ball. He was also the only one."
8. Geddy Lee from the band Rush had a huge collection of autographed baseballs from the Negro Leagues; he donated over 200 balls to the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in 2008.
9. Ralph Kiner is the only player ever to lead the league in homers for seven years in a row — his first seven years as a major league player.
Topps / Via cardsthatneverwere.blogspot.com
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Are These Quotes About Millennials Or Another Generation?
Millennials, or Generation Y, get the short end of the stick in most think pieces. But are they that different from youths of the past?
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19 Parents Who Are Having A Way Worse Day Than You
Things could be worse. Much, much worse.
The parent whose toddler got their hands on the family computer:
The parent who told their kid they could have "just one":
The parent of these kids who used the popcorn maker:
The parent whose partner bought their kid this:
Keith Szilagyi / Flickr: 40719622@N06
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