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21 Signs You're Suffering From A Book Hangover


The Modern Day Hanky Code

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Will you buy me brunch in the morning? There are some things you just need to know.

Historically, the hanky code is known as a system used to indicate preferred sexual desires. The color-coded guide allows you to know something deeply personal about another individual with only a casual glance.

Worn on opposite side: Lives in a spacious loft – completely alone.

Justine Zwiebel

Worn on opposite side: Out to everyone and their mother.


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How To Make Your Own Cadbury Creme Eggs

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Because Easter baskets shouldn’t be reserved for children.

Easter without Cadbury eggs is like Thanksgiving without pie.

Which is to say, you'll need to make these.

Easter without Cadbury eggs is like Thanksgiving without pie.

Via food52.com

Here's what you'll need.

Here's what you'll need.

Via food52.com

This will make about 15 decent-sized eggs. But NO ONE will judge you if you double this recipe.

INGREDIENTS
½ cup Lyle's golden syrup
6 tablespoons butter, softened
½ teaspoon salt
1 vanilla bean, seeds removed (optional)
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cup powdered sugar
¼ to ½ teaspoon yellow food coloring
12 ounces dark chocolate, chopped (or 1 bag bittersweet chocolate chips)

Get the full recipe at Food52.

Step 1: Mix everything together but the chocolate.

Step 1: Mix everything together but the chocolate.

Place the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer that has been fitted with the paddle attachment (you can also use a hand mixer, or do it by hand for extra street cred). Add the golden syrup, salt, vanilla seeds (if you're using), and vanilla extract. Mix to combine, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula to make sure everything is mixed well. Slowly add the powdered sugar, and mix until completely smooth.

Via food52.com


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This Is What Happens When Adults Revisit The Movies That Terrified Them As Kids

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“This kid’s not a good actor. I can now see that.”

We asked people what scenes from movies or TV shows scared the living hell out of them when they were kids, then made them face their fears by watching them as adults. What did they think?

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Well, some of the things that used to terrify them looked a little bit silly in retrospect, like the talking toilet from Look Who's Talking Too...

Well, some of the things that used to terrify them looked a little bit silly in retrospect, like the talking toilet from Look Who's Talking Too ...

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Or Large Marge's freaky monster face in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Or Large Marge's freaky monster face in Pee Wee's Big Adventure .

youtube.com

And the illusion of reality in Are You Afraid Of The Dark? just wasn't what it used to be.

And the illusion of reality in Are You Afraid Of The Dark? just wasn't what it used to be.

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Which ’90s Cartoon Series Are You?

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Are you zany to the max like the Animaniacs or self-conscious like Rocko’s Modern Life ?

Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed

Monica Potter Believes It's About Time "Parenthood" Featured A Gay Character

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Following the Parenthood Season 5 finale, Potter — who plays the impassioned Kristina — told BuzzFeed that Haddie wasn’t always going to have a simple coming out.

Parenthood had gone five years without introducing an LGBT character, but that all changed with the show's fifth season finale, when Haddie Braverman (Sarah Ramos) returned home from college with her "super-awesome best friend" Lauren (Tavi Gevinson).

Like many fans, Monica Potter — who plays Kristina Braverman on the NBC drama — was excited to finally have this storyline included in the show. "Thank god we did," she told BuzzFeed. "I'm like, 'We live in Berkeley!' Even if we didn't live in Berkeley, I'm like, 'C'mon, lets go!'"

While Haddie initially kept her feelings for Lauren to herself, Max (Max Burkholder) barged in on the two kissing, and later asked his mother, "If two girls are kissing, does that mean that they're lesbians?" Kristina, in true Kristina fashion, decided to take it upon herself to sit down with her daughter and get everything out in the open.

Emily Orley / BuzzFeed

NBC

Emily Orley / BuzzFeed

NBC


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Which Quentin Tarantino Film Are You?

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Do you know what they call a quiz in Paris?

Miramax / Via Marc Piasecki / Getty Images

26 Things That Will Make Your Brovaries Explode


Things Old Ladies Do That'd Be Creepy If You Did Them

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You’ve got a little something. Riiiiiiiight there.

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Lipstick teeth is charming on your grandma. On you...not so much.

Lipstick teeth is charming on your grandma. On you...not so much.

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36 Of The Most Effortlessly Beautiful Boho Wedding Dresses Ever

8 Celebrity Tweets You Missed Today

There Is An Epidemic Of Republicans Plagiarizing From Rand Paul

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Eight Republican candidates have literally copied and pasted from Rand Paul’s “issues” page.

Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press / MCT

Sen. Rand Paul's libertarian vision for the Republican Party future has such broad appeal that a generation of Republican candidates is copying his platform — and in many cases, literally copying and pasting it on to their own websites.

Republican Senate, U.S. Congressional, and state legislative candidates around the country have plagiarized from the Kentucky senator, BuzzFeed has found. The group includes two candidates with a serious shot at entering the U.S. Senate next year, Oklahoma's T.W. Shannon and North Carolina's Greg Brannon.

Paul himself faced questions earlier this year for plagiarizing sections of campaign speeches from Wikipedia and other sources. But while he may have been sloppy, the other candidates are systematic, and their source of choice offers a glimpse into a Republican Party in which the Paul family's radical libertarianism is rapidly entering the mainstream.

Paul isn't the only libertarian who's a popular target for copy and pasters. BuzzFeed previously reported that David Clements, a Republican candidate for Senate in New Mexico, and Brannon both plagiarized their "on the issues" pages from libertarian Michigan Republican Rep. Justin Amash.

Clements' campaign expressed "regret" at copying Amash.

Brannon's campaign did not respond to a BuzzFeed request for comment about copying Amash but told North Carolina radio station WFAE the plagiarism was "old news" and, "I would hope that WFAE holds themselves at a higher standard than some of the ridiculous stuff that comes out of Buzzfeed."

This is the third time Brannon has been caught plagiarizing. Brannon was also previously caught plagiarizing Paul by the New York Times.

Shannon's campaign did not immediately return a request for comment on their similar language.

Here's Clements:

Washington's bureaucratic regulations, bailouts, corporate subsidies and excessive taxation have made it virtually impossible for the market to produce new forms of cheap and clean energy.

And here's Paul:

Washington's bureaucratic regulations, corporate subsidies, and excessive taxation have made it virtually impossible for the market to produce new forms of cheap and clean energy.

Here's Clements:

Gun rights advocates need to know that the 2nd amendment is only as good as the fourth amendment. If we are not free from unreasonable and warrantless searches, no one's guns are safe.

And here's Paul:

Gun rights advocates need to know that the 2nd amendment is only as good as the fourth amendment. If we are not free from unreasonable and warrantless searches, no one's guns are safe.

Here's Shannon:

The Department of Education should be abolished. As the department has grown in size, test scores and scholastic performance have markedly dropped. More money, more bureaucracy, and more government intervention have eroded educational standards. Local governments, parents and teachers are far better equipped to meet the needs of their students than the federal government which puts teacher unions' interests over the education of students. I believe in local control over education so that parents can play a much more significant role in their children's schooling. The federal government has disregarded parental rights, restricted and over-regulated teachers, and over-tested our kids. The expansion of the Common Core curriculum is a perfect example. The federal government sold Common Core with the promise of increased standards, but instead gave us an inflexible curriculum that does not equip our children for college. I supported the repeal of Common Core in Oklahoma state government and will continue to fight against it in the United States Senate.

And here's Paul:

As the Federal Government has increased the size of the Department of Education, test scores and scholastic performance have markedly dropped. More money, more bureaucracy, and more government intervention are eroding this nation's educational standards.

The existence of the Department of Education is an overreach of constitutional authority by the federal government. State and local governments, parents and teachers are far better equipped to meet the needs of their students than the red-tape-laden department, which was established for and tends to benefit teachers' unions rather than students.

I believe in more local control over education, where states, localities, and parents can play a much more significant role in their children's schooling. The federal government has simply used its power to disregard parental rights, restrict teachers, and leave kids with an unsatisfactory education, unable to compete in a quickly advancing world. Innovation in education will never come from an overgrown federal bureaucracy, mandating standards and discounting local input.


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Celebrity Graffiti Artist David Choe Doesn't Think He Actually Raped Anyone

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Choe has released a statement saying that a story he told on a podcast about a sexual incident with a masseuse in March was not “fact.” Vice, Choe’s current employer, is “looking into” whether they will continue to work with him.

Graffiti artist David Choe, who has worked with Facebook, CNN, HBO, and Vice, admitted to what he described as "rapey" behavior in a March 10 episode of a podcast he co-hosts with porn actress Asa Akira.

On this podcast, which had been overlooked until a post on xoJane on April 17, Choe discussed getting a massage from a masseuse he calls "Rose." He said he got an erection during the massage and began to masturbate in front of the masseuse without telling or asking her. He recounted the incident:

It's dangerous and it's super self-destructive. I'm at a place and there's potential for a lawsuit... and she has given me no signs that she's into me or that this is appropriate behavior. In my head I go, Do you care if I jerk off right now? and it sounds so creepy in my head that I go I can't say that out loud ... So I go back to the chill method of you never ask first, you just do it, get in trouble and then pay the price later.

...So I just start jerking off. So then her hands gets off my leg and she just stops ... I go 'Look I'm sorry I can't help myself — can you just pretend like I'm not doing this and you continue with the massage?' And she's like 'All right' and she does ... I'm like 'Can I touch your butt?' and I reach out and touch her butt and she pulls away. She doesn't want me to touch her butt.

Rose continued the massage. He asked for oil, and she poured it on him. On the podcast, he then admits that he grabbed her hand and placed it on his penis. He asked if she would spit on it, and she said no. He asked her to kiss it, and she said no.

She's definitely not into it, but she's not stopping it either. I say, 'Kiss it a little,' she says, 'No, all the massage oil is on it,' and I take the back of her head and I push it down on my dick and she doesn't do it. And I say, 'Open your mouth, open your mouth,' and she does it and I start facefucking her.

Choe says that he continued with the act until he ejaculated into the masseuse's mouth. Rose refused to have sex with him, and allegedly asked him to lie back down so she could continue with the massage.

After Choe told the story, his co-host Akira said, "You raped... allegedly." And he responded "Well... encouraged." Akira further pushed the question of whether or not Choe raped.

"I just want to make it clear that I admit that that's rapey behavior," said Choe. "But I am not a rapist." He continued:

With the rape stuff... I mean, I would have been in a lot of trouble right now if I put her hand on my dick and she's like, 'Fucking stop I'm gonna go call security.' That would have been a much different story. But the thrill of possibly going to jail, that's what achieved the erection quest.

After that Akira exclaimed: "You're basically telling us that you're a rapist right now, and the only way to get your dick hard is rape." His response was simply "Yeah."

The definition of rape under California law is an "act of sexual intercourse... where it is accomplished against a person's will by means of force, violence, duress, menace, or fear of immediate and unlawful bodily injury on the person or another."

Via Facebook: davidchoe1


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Activists Optimistic On Reported Deportation Changes, As New Memo Set To Drop

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Advocates applaud reported movement on enforcement practices and priorities from Homeland Security head, but caution any memo outlining changes needs to be strictly enforced, unlike others that have failed to change practices by agents in the field.

DREAMers have been protesting and doing hunger strikes outside the White House in hopes of getting President Obama to take administrative action to slow deportations.

Via facebook.com

Immigration activists say they're cautiously optimistic about reported changes to Obama Administration policy on deportations, but have serious enforcement questions about a key memo officials are reportedly preparing to address the issue.

The reported changes would be the initial results of the Department of Homeland Security's review of deportation policy. Although that review, announced after massive pressure from activists on the issue who continue to protest outside the White House even now, has produced no official conclusions yet, the Los Angeles Times reported on a slate of potential moves DHS is considering this week.

Among the floated policies: changing the timeframe for priority removal of an undocumented immigrant from three years to two weeks, considering family ties in deportation cases, and adding bond hearings for undocumented immigrants who are detained.

David Leopold, former president of the American Immigration Lawyers Association, said the proposed changes would effectively slow deportations. Adding bond hearings would mean undocumented immigrants could fight their cases outside of detention, and those detained have their cases expedited in court, he said.

The reaction to that and other measures has been a mix of optimism and the desire for more action.

Cesar Vargas and Erika Andiola, DREAMers who have been protesting outside the White House because of the administration's record deportations, said the changes in priorities that have been floated would have a real impact in the lives of immigrants, but said they will continue to push for more from the president.

"It would totally be a big deal for folks with reentry charges," Andiola said. "We however think that there is still a way for affirmative relief to also be part of any announcement from the President."

Vargas said bond hearings are a way of protecting people, but more can be done so "U.S. citizen children don't have to see their mother or father being taken into detention."

Lorella Praeli, director of advocacy and policy at United We Dream, said perspective is needed on the issue of bond hearings for undocumented people. "Is it important for people to have bond? Absolutely. Is it outrageous that they don't already have it? Yes."

But immigration activists do agree on one thing: If field agents do not enforce the changes in the memo DHS officials are reportedly preparing, the memo will be worthless.

"The question is what will the memo entail and what is the commitment to such a memo?" Praeli said.

Officials with knowledge of the DHS process cautioned that it was too early in the process to rule in, or out, any one provision in an eventual memo. While multiple activists told BuzzFeed they believed a memo would come in the next week, that timeline was disputed by some close to the process.

Marielena Hincapié, the executive director of the National Immigration Law Center, said that 70% of immigrants are deported without going in front of an immigration judge, so she thinks the bond hearings are an important step, but is concerned with how and if the eventual memo would be enforced.

"They need a strategy for how DHS personnel will be held responsible," she told Buzzfeed. "[United States Secretary of Homeland Security] Jeh Johnson has a major management problem, so how are they going to be held accountable? There should be quotas, not for how many are detained, but how many are given discretion."

Both Hincapié and Leopold said the coming memo can succeed where the Morton memo, a 2011 document concerning prosecutorial discretion, and others failed by not repeating the same mistakes. They described the Morton memo as alternatingly "vague" and "contradictory," but Leopold noted that he hasn't heard complaints on how DACA was implemented because it was clear to agents.

A DHS official with knowledge of the process called it robust and said it involves many different interested parties.

"Secretary Johnson is very engaged with the operators and the agencies that are involved in the implementation of our policies writ large," the official said. "The secretary has met with frontline officers, including the leadership of ICE, border patrol, and U.S. Citizen Immigration Services, who have been part of every conversation. Additionally, he's getting input from both sides of the aisle, advocacy groups and stakeholders, businesses and the faith community."

In private meetings with advocates, Johnson himself has said that it is important for him to "socialize" any eventual changes in enforcement practices with agents in the field.

The deliberate and comprehensive way he is going about the process, signifies to some that the eventual memo will be enforced. His role now has been compared to his last great hurdle: the successful repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," of which he was the point man.

youtube.com

For his part, Obama appears very aware of the pressure he faces, both from people that have previously been his allies and from Republicans, who say any administrative action would prove their allegations that the president can not be trusted to enforce the law.

On Thursday, Obama was asked about the hunger strikers and protesters outside the White House during a press conference. Obama said he knows Republicans are dealing with tough politics on immigration reform among their base, adding, "but what I also know is that there are families all across the country who are experiencing great hardship and pain because this is not being resolved."

Calling the immigration system "broken," Obama said Congress must act because administrative options are nearing their limit.

"We have already tried to take as many administrative steps as we could, we're going to review it one more time to see if there's more that we can do to make it more consistent with common sense and more consistent with, I think, the attitudes of the American people, which is we shouldn't be in the business of tearing families apart that are otherwise law-abiding," he said.

Douglas Rivlin, from the office of Rep. Luis Gutierrez, who has been active in calling on the administration to slow deportations, said the congressman wouldn't want to comment yet on details that may be included in the eventual memo, but blamed House Republicans for stalling immigration reform and said it makes sense for Johnson and the president to pursue possible administrative action.

"The White House obviously has to set priorities for deportations given our unrealistic policies, as every President has had to, and the Obama Administration is exploring a whole range of ideas within the constraints of current law," he wrote in a statement. "Given that Republicans may fail to take action on immigration this year, the President and the Secretary of Homeland Security have to examine their options."

According to a Wall Street Journal report, House Speaker John Boehner told donors last month that Republicans will move forward with immigration bills in the summer. Activists, livid with the president, have even less trust in the House GOP because of stalled reform, but say they welcome actual movement on legislation.

"We say bring it, to Republicans," Praeli said. "If they're serious about it we've been waiting. But we're also not going to take just any bill. If they're serious let's begin to have the conversation, but that's hard to do without actual language."


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Bryan Singer Dropping Out Of All Press For "X-Men: Days Of Future Past" For Foreseeable Future

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Because duh.

Patrick Stewart and Bryan Singer on the set of X-Men: Days of Future Past

Alan Markfield / 20th Century Fox

Bryan Singer will not be doing any press to support his upcoming film X-Men: Days of Future Past, BuzzFeed has learned from sources with knowledge of the situation.

The decision is perhaps an obvious one in the wake of the legal nightmare Singer has found himself in, after a federal lawsuit was filed accusing the filmmaker of using drugs and alcohol to force a teenage boy to have sex with him in 1999. Singer has vehemently denied the allegations through his lawyer Martin Singer (no relation), who calls the claims made against Singer "completely fabricated."

Yesterday, BuzzFeed learned Singer would no longer attend the fan convention WonderCon in Anaheim, Calif. — X-Men: Days of Future Past producer-screenwriter Simon Kinberg is stepping into Singer's press obligations for that event. But Jeff Herman, the attorney who filed the lawsuit against Singer on behalf of his client Michael Egan, said yesterday at a press conference that more lawsuits will be filed on the matter next week. This story is not going away any time soon, and although Singer did direct the first two X-Men movies in 2000 and 2003, he is a director for hire in the seventh film in the $2.3 billion franchise that stars Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, and Jennifer Lawrence. Any public appearances Singer could make on behalf of the film would be overwhelmed by the lawsuit, which would be bad for Singer and the film itself.

20th Century Fox did not offer any comment.

With a reported budget of $225 million, Days of Future Past is one of the biggest films in Singer's career, which is in a precarious position after his last film, last spring's stinging box office belly-flop Jack the Giant Slayer. The film opens in North America on May 23; for the foreseeable future, the best thing Singer can do for the movie and himself is not talk at all.


These Blind People's Descriptions Of Beauty Might Just Change The Way You Define The Word

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“I don’t care what nationality somebody is, I don’t care how tall somebody is, I don’t care how big or small they are. A person is beautiful because they are true to themselves.”

We invited members of the blind community to describe what beauty looks like to them. Their responses might change the way you see things.

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Many people view beauty as something you see with your eyes, but when you can't see beauty, you have to feel it. Whether it's the beauty in simplicity...

Many people view beauty as something you see with your eyes, but when you can't see beauty, you have to feel it. Whether it's the beauty in simplicity...

Mark Celestino

Experience...

Experience...

Mark Celestino

Or the ones you love, there's so much more out there than what we can see.

Or the ones you love, there's so much more out there than what we can see.

Mark Celestino


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71 Thoughts You Have When You’re Waiting To Pee

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When two minutes can feel like a decade.

Shutterstock

1. Ugh.
2. I really hope there's no line.
3. Of course there's a line.
4. Wasn't I here 10 minutes ago?
5. I have the smallest bladder.
6. This is starting to be a problem.
7. I didn't need that fourth cup of coffee/beer/soda/juice.
8. You can't die from holding it in too long can you?
9. I should probably see a doctor.
10. Oh right, that's kidney stones…
11. WAIT that sounds terrible.
12. I'm probably missing out on something cool right now.
13. I wonder if my friends are talking about me?
14. Oh god.
15. My friends definitely hate me.
16. This is taking years off my life.
17. What are they fucking doing in there?
18. Should I knock?
19. Nah, I'll look like an asshole.
20. I'll look like a bigger asshole if no one is in there.
21. OK, I'll knock lightly so they know I'm here.
22. Maybe they didn't hear it. I'll knock louder.
23. OK, NOW I'm an asshole.
24. Shit, I might piss myself.
25. Should I just piss myself?
26. That would probably be nice and warm.
27. Babies do it.
28. But then I'd have to do laundry.
29. I probably have to do laundry anyway.
30. Fuck that. I can hold it.
31. Who's this asshole trying to cut the line?
32. I'll stab anyone that skips the line.
33. I've never seen an attractive person wait in line for the bathroom.
34. Now that I think about it I've never seen an attractive person in line for anything.
35. I bet Sting never has to use the bathroom.
36. I feel like I'm going to explode.

failgif.com

37. Please no one talk to me.
38. Stop thinking about TLC's "Waterfalls."
39. That's a dope song though.
40. Maybe I'll just go pee outside in an alley.
41. Why don't more people pee outside. Dogs do it.
42. Never mind I can't afford getting a ticket.
43. Why did I wear a belt today?
44. Is it socially acceptable to unbutton my pants while I wait?
45. Why can't I just ignore it like when I have to poop?
46. Don't fart. Don't fart. Don't fart.
47. This place needs more bathrooms.
48. What the fuck is wrong with this person?
49. DON'T THEY KNOW OTHER PEOPLE ARE HERE?
50. What's taking so long?
51. Did someone die in there?
52. There should be separate lines for pooping and peeing.
53. I bet hell is just a really long bathroom line.
54. Was that a flush?
55. Seriously, is anyone in there?
56. Waiting for things should be illegal.
57. This is getting awkward.
58. I feel like crying.
59. Wait, I am crying.
60. [ponders every failure in life]
61. Pull yourself together.
62. I've only been here for 3 minutes?!?!?!
63. OK, that was definitely a flush.
64. HERE WE GO.
65. How long can someone wash his or her hands for?
66. YOUR HANDS ARE DRY DUDE COME ON!!!!!!
67. I'm gonna give this person a piece of my mind.
68. Maybe, I'll just give them the stink eye.
69. The people behind me are so lucky I'm a pro pisser.
70. This is gonna be the best 12 seconds of my life.
71. Ahhhhhhh.


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17 Delicious Egg Casseroles That Are Stepping Up Their Game

This Video Shows You How Not To Launch A Military Drone

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Thankyou, Portuguese Navy.

The Portuguese Navy tried to launch an experimental drone in a ceremony at Lisbon Naval Base on Wednesday. It... didn't quite work out.

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Flawless.

Flawless.

Defence Minister José Pedro Aguiar-Branco, who was at the drone's launch ceremony, commented that it showed why it was "necessary to invest a lot in training".

Via youtube.com

Let's look at that from another angle.

Let's look at that from another angle.

Via youtube.com

Man dressed as a ninja throws plane in harbour. Textbook.

In fairness, as the video shows, the UAV did eventually take flight on a second attempt.

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This Is The Saddest "The Fault In Our Stars" Poster You'll Ever See

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