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9 Videos You Can't Miss This Week

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Featuring the dad who tried reasoning with his baby, an incredibly moving look at how the blind see beauty, and the most adorably annoying dog in the world.

Hello, Classical Music? This Is Twerking

Hello, Classical Music? This Is Twerking

How do you get younger listeners interested in classical music? For Belgium's B-Classic Music Festival, the answer was simple: Have Korean pop-dance group Waveya put a VERY modern spin on Dvořák. (2:57)

youtube.com / Via adweek.com

Dad Tries Reasoning With Baby

Dad Tries Reasoning With Baby

You don't need words to argue. Just ask the dad who tried talking things out with one very opinionated li'l cutie. (1:10)

youtube.com / Via buzzfeed.com


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32 Reasons You Should Never, Ever Take A Holiday From Work

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Terrible things will happen while you are away.

You might get back from your break to find you've become a Justin Bieber fan.

You might get back from your break to find you've become a Justin Bieber fan.

imgur.com

A really big Justin Bieber fan.

A really big Justin Bieber fan.

imgur.com

Really.

Really.

imgur.com

Or maybe your colleagues will have decided you need more Leo in your life.

Or maybe your colleagues will have decided you need more Leo in your life.

imgur.com


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These Are The Only Notes You'll Ever Need For Math Class

27 Embarrassing Things That Can Happen When Substitute Teaching

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Is 60 bucks really worth this???

You oversleep and show up late.

You oversleep and show up late.

Why does school start so early?!

gifsoup.com

You oversleep and completely miss the entire day.

You oversleep and completely miss the entire day.

gifsoup.com

You get mistaken for a student by the staff.

You get mistaken for a student by the staff.

NBC / Via anatomyofmelancholy.tumblr.com

You get mistaken for a student by the students.

Oh, I don't look old enough to be a teacher? Well you don't look old enough to STOP ME FROM GIVING YOU DETENTION.

You get mistaken for a student by the students.

ITV / Via clickypix.com


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The Cats Of YouTube As You've Never Seen Them Before

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Illustrator Richard Swarbrick elevates iconic cat videos to f(el)ine art in a stylish new short that marries fleeting, watercolor impressionism with slinky synth-pop .

You've seen Maru, Shark Cat, and Sam, the cat with eyebrows, but never in this form...

Richard Swarbrick / Via youtube.com

Shocking, amirite?

Shocking, amirite?

Richard Swarbrick / Via youtube.com

7 Snacks That Make Yogurt Much More Exciting

How I Fell In Love With The Dorkiest Game Of The Year

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John Gara for BuzzFeed / ZeniMax Online Studios

I'm not what most people would call a gamer. I've played console games only here and there, and I've never installed a game on my computer. Truth be told, the one game I play on a regular basis involves smashing candy on my iPhone. There's really only been a single exception in my adult life. In 2012, every day, for months, I played Skyrim.

That game, until earlier this month the latest in the series of impossibly dorky Elder Scrolls role-playing games, turned me into a gamer. I played it passionately. I played it obsessively. Why? Despite its daunting scale and complexity, it wasn't classically "hard". I was a gaming novice, and I appreciated the fact that it took practice, rather than skill, to get “better.” It didn’t really matter that I had never played Fallout or Portal or the other Elder Scrolls games; simply by putting in my time, I could be a level-60 grandmage/superthief/badass assassin/dragon-slayer just like everyone else. In Tamriel, the world in which Skyrim takes place, I was my own master.

So it was with a great deal of anxiety that I approached Elder Scrolls Online, the new game by the Skyrim people that is the first version of these games that you can play online with other users.

Frankly, I was very nervous about the idea of playing Skyrim with others. That game was a private experience for me, something that was a huge part of my life, but that I never talked about with my friends. Very few people I knew were playing the game, and it was something that felt like mine — losing myself for hours in the game was a vacation from my real life, and it was incredibly peaceful. Having other people in the game complicates that — dare I say it? — spiritual connection I had to Skyrim. As we all know from IRL experience, humans are annoying and selfish, they like to harass you and say dumb things, and they’re always get in the way of inner peace.

I was also genuinely anxious about being compared to other players in real time. What if the only reason I got “good” at Skyrim was because I played it forever?

What if I was actually terrible?

In the interest of charting my progress, virtual and emotional, I decided to keep a diary of my time with the game. Here's what happened.

Day Zero, 9:42 p.m.:

In the 20 hours it takes for the game to download (a process that involved the frantic deletion of my Chrome cache and a mysterious 453% install), I decide to do some preparatory reading. Apparently the game features guilds, which are groups of friends (or strangers, sometimes? Often?) who play together online. I do not belong to a guild (I don’t think?), but Elder Scrolls Online is designed so that the main story can be played totally solo if one so chooses. Apparently this is hotly debated, because while traditional MMO fans think this defeats the purpose of making it an online game, Elder Scrolls fans are stoked that the game is retaining the series’ trademark solo adventuring.

While it’s a relief to know I can play by myself, I’m nervous about what playing in a world populated by “real people” will be like. I don’t know anyone else playing the game, so this feels a bit like the first day at a new school.

Which, frankly sounds like hell. I better get a good night’s sleep.

Day One, 12:35 p.m.:

I AM MAKING MY CHARACTER. This feels like a really big deal. I decide I want to be a Khajit (see above) because they look like cats and I really like cats. My job title at BuzzFeed is “Beastmaster.” Anyways, I name my cat Liliger — that’s a cross between a Lion and a Liger, which is like cat on cat on cat — and I make her pretty thick, with big awesome boobs and a big awesome butt.

I hope she kind of looks like Cat Beyoncé.

Liliger is already gorgeous before I even start focusing on her face. Faces are super customizable — there are sliders for categories like “forehead slant” and “chin height.” You can also choose among several voices, but it’s hard to compare them because some of them go “ugh” and some of them go “raaaaaaaaaah.” I choose Voice F, which goes “ooo ooo.” When I finish creating Liliger, I feel a little like God. This part of the game is so fun that I kind of want to just go create a bunch more characters in the image of various people I know and boys I’ve had crushes on.

Day One, 1:06 p.m.:

I wake up in a dungeon, in a cell, and there’s a guy talking to me. He claims that he’s a “prophet” but I am skeptical, because he looks like a dude who would harass me on the subway. He is “the past and the future both,” he tells me. I think he might be high? The prophet guy is telling me that we aren’t in Tamriel and we have to do some stuff to get to Tamriel, which is annoying because I’ve spent the last few months of my life waiting to return to Tamriel. But I remember something similar from Skyrim — these games often start with some tiny mini-quest to get you used to the controls. I guess that would be helpful for me, since I’m running into a lot of walls.

Day One, 1:13 p.m.:

My first kill is a skeleton. I killed him easily, because I am a badass. Lots of dudes are running past me and my dead skeleton, and I think they are other human players because they have names like “Vagitarian” and “Sexorcist.”

I find the woman the prophet told me to find, and she looks me up and down and says, “You’ve got more meat on your bones than most of these poor bastards.” The hell? Is she fat-shaming me? I do not like her. She joins me, though, and we run into a big open area with a ton of other players. There are flame atronachs, which I recognize from Skyrim as evil bastards, flying everywhere. I immediately die.

Ten minutes later, I am starting to feel good about this game for the first time. I have killed, like, six dudes. But I'm supposed to destroy these weird sentinel things and I can’t figure out how to get to them AT ALL. I got stuck trying to get to them and I was just weirdly floating next to this big wall, and uh, then I died. Growing pains.

ZeniMax Online Studios / Via Summer Anne Burton

Day One, 1:30 p.m.:

I want to pause here to say that I am completely confused about what all the other players are doing. Do they have different missions from mine? How come they haven’t just destroyed the sentinels and fixed everything? Surely they are better than me at this. I think they’re on the same mission as me, and it looks like they’re in the same space, but when they destroy the sentinel, nothing happens for me until I also separately destroy it. It’s sort of like we’re each in parallel and close to identical worlds changed only by our own actions, stacked on top of one another in transparent layers. Maybe that’s what real life is like too? Whoa.

I am drunk, by the way. Have I mentioned that?

Day One, 1:45 p.m.:

I pause to wonder if I’m going to be able to get married and buy a house in this game like I did in Skyrim. One of the best things about Skyrim was getting a chance to do super-grown-up things I haven’t yet done IRL, like meet a shopkeeper and ask him to marry me like three minutes later, or own houses in, like, four different cities just because I can.

Day One, 2:05 p.m.:

The tutorial is over and we are finally here in Tamriel! The first place I’m in is just a tiny room with ‘70s-style wood paneling. Neat. The prophet subway guy appears to me as a ghost. He tells me that he’s in an awesome place where it smells of gardens and I’m in hell, basically. Have I mentioned how much I fucking hate this guy?

It’s always an option in the Elder Scrolls Online to just say “good-bye” when you’re in the middle of talking to someone, which is incredibly delightful. I really wish I could pull that off IRL.

“So, my brother had this dream ab—”

“Good-bye.”

Day One, 2:15 p.m.:

I am in this little town now and there are people everywhere. Other players doing stuff! OH SHIT THERE IS STUFF HAPPENING IN THE CHAT WINDOW. People are CHATTING! This is a CHAT ROOM! I did not know that this was how this worked.

People are “recruiting” for guilds, which I guess is sort of like rushing for fraternities? Anyways, the fact that I am participating in a game that has a chat room is making me feel incredibly nostalgic for ICQ and IRC and AOL and other three-letter acronyms. If the main multiplayer aspect of this game is just in-game chat, I am INTO IT.

I type “helloooooooo” into the chat window, just to feel alive.

I walk by this one super-hot character in his underwear just standing there, which is pretty awesome. I keep walking by him again on purpose and stopping and making eye contact and getting too close to him, but he seems to be in his own little universe.

This is also often how it goes in the real world with hot guys.

Day One, 3:00 p.m.:

From the chat: “Your queen asked me to fight for her after seeing my performance in her bedchamber.” ZING!!

In this town, lots of other new people are doing the same quests I am, and we keep running into each other doing it. It feels super embarrassing.

“Nothing to see here, just checking these barrels for poisoned meat! What are you up to?”

“Oh, the same thing? Huh, what a coincidence!”

* ambles off into a corner casually *

Day One, 3:51 p.m.:

The cool thing about dying in ESO is that it seems like you can just revive and pretty much nothing bad happens. I think? I’m not really sure what the disadvantages are. So far I am pretty into death!

After a few deaths, no big deal, I basically rescue the queen of the first town and fix everything and she is super into me now and wants me to do stuff with her. I ask her some questions about herself and I get the impression that no one ever really bothers to do that, you know? Of course I skip through her answers really quickly and listen to nothing she says — I'm just trying to see if she would give me any other quests — but she doesn’t need to know that. It's pretty cool, being a good person in a computer game.

Day One, 4:20 p.m.:

I resolve to start talking to some of the random other players I pass, for the sake of this being an experiment, but they keep ignoring me. So rude! One of the people I just tried to address is named Kitty Soft Paws so I’m pretty upset that he wouldn’t talk to me.

Maybe I’m not doing this part right?

Day One, 4:45 p.m.:

I finally find some horses. I name mine Benedict Cumberbatch.

The quest I’m doing now involves traveling to an island filled with cute but deadly dinosaurs. I had to talk to someone named Sugar Claws to get there, which was obviously great because Sugar Claws is, like, the best name!

Being on the island is a constant series of distractions. Everywhere I go I meet another person who needs help, or there’s some cute little dinosaur to kill (I don’t want to kill them, but they keep attacking me). Right now I’m finding these poor shipwrecked dudes and giving them something called torchbug juice to make them feel better. I don’t even remember what I came to this island for in the first place. I just do whatever. I’m a free spirit, helping people everywhere I go!

Day One, 6:45 p.m.:

New quest: I collected some monster eggs and I have to find five different rats' nests and throw the eggs on them, which, long story short, causes monsters to dig up and eat all the baby rats while they run and scream for their tiny rat lives. I’d much rather kill people.

Doesn't this game know I'm vegan?

ZeniMax Online Studios / Via Summer Anne Burton

Day One, 8:06 p.m.:

FUCK YES, I mean, very good, I found a smithing station. My favorite thing to do in Skyrim was to make piles and piles of armor and weapons. What sucks is that I don't actually have any of the stuff I need to craft weapons or armor right now.

I’m actually pretty bummed about this, so I use all my gold to buy two shitty iron swords that I can deconstruct for their iron and use to make something new. I essentially downgraded the swords to crappy daggers for the privilege of smithing, but it was worth it. DIY! DIY!

Day One, 9:00 p.m.:

I feel like I have accomplished a lot today. I have rescued some fake-ass prophet, gotten to Tamriel, saved a queen from some assholes, been arrested unfairly, repaired a ship, fucked up some magic pirates, killed a bunch of dinosaurs, destroyed some rats' nests (sigh), made two daggers, helped some hot cat kid kill his dad, destroyed countless skeletons and rogues, joined a mage's guild, picked some plants, and now I'm in some fucking dank ass catacombs. And I don't even look phased — Liliger remains the Beyoncé of Tamriel.

I'm feeling really good but now I'm going through some major gender-related shit in the catacombs. Here I am at another crossroads, and here we have another lady telling me she wants to take a dude's place in an eternal prison because he's too valuable. This seems to be a theme, and it's not one I'm into. I want to sit this fool down with some ice cream and red wine and just tell her there's no way any guy is worth her eternal damnation.

I tell her I need to talk to her dude about it and at least this guy isn't a jerk — he agrees with me. As he points out, he's old and she's young. Plus his "greatest joy was watching Gathwen blossom." OK, gross, but as long as she doesn’t literally sacrifice her life for him I’m still OK with it. He should be the one in the hell tomb forever.

Day One, 9:25 p.m.:

I’m trying to help this family salvage some of their alchemical tools after a fire destroyed their plantation, but I'm not having much luck yet. I’m learning that the woman who asked me to try to salvage the tools is a skooma maker/drug dealer. Skooma is like the heroin of Tamriel. It's everywhere, and it's completely destructive and hurts families and changes people. “Don’t do smack, kids,” the game seems to whisper.

Eventually I find the skooma. It was buried in what the game described as a "packed mound." I bet $100 the game’s developers called it that on purpose for giggles.

Day One, 9:45 p.m.:

Another player said hi to me! The person’s name is Chynadra. I tried saying hi back. I am waiting for a response and feeling very excited and scared. It’s a girl character, which gives me the probably unrealistic hope that maybe the player behind the avatar is a lady as well.

She never responded. I am moving on, but I will always remember her, and our bond.

Day…Two? 12:07 a.m.:

ZeniMax Online Studios / Via Summer Anne Burton

A list of things I like doing in Elder Scrolls Online more than I like fighting:

• jumping off of stuff I probably shouldn’t jump off, but not dying.

• having my horse jump over random people.

• fishing, which you can do at certain bodies of water and involves just standing there with guts or insect parts on a lure and catching salmon.

• mining for iron.

• making weapons with that iron.

• getting weirdly in the physical space of other players' characters for no reason.

• lying around for minutes after death, waiting to be revived by a stranger and admiring my dead body.

• picking flowers.

• picking butterflies out of the air.

• chasing foxes and bunnies.

• reading the stupid stuff people put in the chat.

• swimming improbably long distances.

• reading the silly books I find on random bookshelves.

• saying “good-bye” in the middle of a conversation with someone who thinks they’re important.

• sneaking around for no reason.

• changing clothes and then taking selfie screenshots.

• admiring how beautiful Audiron is.

• leveling up!

Day Two, 1:01 a.m.:

The chat is getting real:

“Hilary Duff: I never had a dad”

“Ancano Caemor: Oh :( neither did I”

--

Day Three, 10:20 p.m.:

Something exciting has happened! An old acquaintance from Texas DM’d me on Twitter and asked for my Elder Scrolls username. I think perhaps we will be able to QUEST TOGETHER, unlocking the true online potential of this game at last. I try to play it cool and I wait (coolly) for him to come online.

When he does, I can see that he’s near the wayshrine in Mistral. I go there, and sure enough I find another character with a little triangle over its head indicating that my friend is standing right in front of me. HE IS A GIRL CHARACTER. My hopes and dreams of all of the women I pass in the streets being real lady players are dashed upon the rocks of this wayshrine, but it is still pretty cool to “see” someone I know.

My friend teaches me that if I type things like "/jumpingjacks" or "/dancedrunk" into the chat window, my character does funny but useless physical things. I guess people use these functions to simulate sex and/or just behave like weirdos, both of which I approve of. My friend and I decide to go questing together and I share with him a quest that’s been troubling me: aiding a foxy queen. When we finally get down to it, killing together is delightful. It’s literally twice the fun of doing it on my own. I get to see his cool special abilities, and we coordinate effortlessly — when I’m not accidentally running into trees. When my friend eventually decides to log off, I’m left feeling kind of lonely.

Day Four, 7:24 p.m.:

11 Shocking Facts About The World's Biggest Brands

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Wait, Google used to be called WHAT?


7 Shocking Things You Never Realized Could Be Hacked

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And you thought “Heartbleed” was bad…

St. John's Croquet Is Like Taking A Time Machine Back To "The Great Gatsby"

That Mail On Sunday Article Attacking Food Banks Just Made The Charity's Donations Rise 500%

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The Trussell Trust has recieved a surge in public donations following the publication of a widely-criticised article attacking the charity.

Volunteer Vanessa Dickson, 58, helps pick food from the shelves ready to be given to a family at the Bromley Borough Foodbank in Orpington, part of The Trussell Trust.

Andrew Matthews/PA Wire

A food bank charity has seen a more than six-fold increase in the number of donations in the space of a few hours since the publication of a Mail On Sunday article criticising it.

A food bank charity has seen a more than six-fold increase in the number of donations in the space of a few hours since the publication of a Mail On Sunday article criticising it.

justgiving.com

The Mail On Sunday today published an investigation into the Trussell Trust - a charity which distributes emergency food packages to impoverished people - in which its reporter received a food package after claiming to be an unemployed father of two who was struggling to make ends meet.

The article criticised both the Trussell Trust and the Citizen's Advice Bureau - which is also an independent charity - for failing to carry out sufficient background checks on people using its service to verify whether they were genuinely in need of emergency food supplies.

The article also used its findings to cast doubt on the Trust's widely reported claims that almost a million people would use one of its food bank this year, an increase of 163% on the previous year, and part of a trend that has seen use of the Trust's food banks increase tenfold since 2010.

trusselltrust.org


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15 Life Lessons Learned From "As Told By Ginger"

Tila Tequila Is Pregnant

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She shared the news on Facebook last night.

This Is The Weirdest Photo Of Tupac Shakur You Will Ever See

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One word: Speedo

Behold, the strangest photo of Tupac EVER. It was taken in 1991, while he performed with the Digital Underground. I just have so many questions, but mainly: Why is he wearing that bucket hat?!

Behold, the strangest photo of Tupac EVER. It was taken in 1991, while he performed with the Digital Underground. I just have so many questions, but mainly: Why is he wearing that bucket hat?!

Michael Montfort/ Michael Ochs Archives / Getty Images

23 Awesome Surprises To Hide Inside Easter Eggs

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Chocolate, coins, and jellybeans, for sure. But how about upping your game this Easter?

Lego pieces

Lego pieces

Open up a Lego set (one with fewer pieces will work best), divide up the pieces among eggs of the same color, and hide around the house (or outside!).

Your kid will thank you for color coding later when she tries to build the set.

shop.lego.com

Puzzle pieces

Puzzle pieces

Same idea as above but be sure the pieces are small enough to fit inside the eggs without bending. Nobody likes bent puzzle pieces. Nobody.

(If you're really crafty, make your own puzzle. Here's how.)

makethebestofeverything.com

Jelly beans

Jelly beans

An Easter staple. Starburst, Jolly Rancher, and Jelly Belly are choice.

en.wikipedia.org

Hot Wheels cars

Hot Wheels cars

Matchbox cars work, too.

amazon.com


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The Most Fab Or Drab Celebrity Outfits Of The Week

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You voted – here are the results.

5. Chrissy Teigen At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

With 890 "FAB" votes.

5. Chrissy Teigen At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

Michael Buckner / Getty Images / Via buzzfeed.com

4. Leslie Mann At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

With 963 "FAB" votes.

4. Leslie Mann At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

Michael Buckner / Getty Images / Via buzzfeed.com

3. Ellie Goulding At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

With 995 "FAB" votes.

3. Ellie Goulding At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

Michael Buckner / Getty Images / Via buzzfeed.com


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16-Year-Old Girl Enters Art Competition, Produces Masterpiece

"Texts From Star Trek: The Next Generation" Takes "Texts From Last Night" To Interstellar Levels Of Greatness

Why It's Not So Shocking That The Illusionist On "Britain's Got Talent" Blew Your Mind

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Darcy Oake said he came over from Canada just to audition for Britain’s Got Talent . But he’s already performed in Las Vegas, LA and Singapore.

A magician on this week's episode of Britain's Got Talent left everyone astounded after he revealed a number of doves, as if from thin air. Watch his full performance here:

The video of his performance has already been viewed over a million times in two days and was on the front page of Reddit on Monday morning. A number of Twitter users have also praised his audition on the social network.

youtube.com

Amanda Holden's reaction summarised the whole thing pretty well.

Amanda Holden's reaction summarised the whole thing pretty well.

ITV / Via youtube.com


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Teen Stowed Away In Landing Gear Of Flight From California To Hawaii

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A 16-year-old-boy survived the long journey despite cold temperatures at 38,000 feet and lack of oxygen, the FBI said.

Cliff Despeaux / Reuters / Reuters

A California boy hid in one of the back wheel wells of a plane for the more than five-hour flight to Maui on Sunday. He was found on the tarmac of the Kahului Airport with no identification.

After the plane landed in Maui, the boy hopped off the wheel and started wandering around the airport grounds. He had nothing on him except a comb when Maui Airport workers found him. Maui District Airports Manager Marvin Moniz said that the boy claimed to have gotten into an argument with his family and ran away from home.

Security footage from the San Jose Airport verified that the boy had hopped a fence to get to the Hawaiian Boeing 767 on Sunday morning.

FBI Special Agent Tom Simon in Honolulu told the Associated Press on Sunday night that the boy was also questioned by the FBI. Simon said that the boy was cooperative and will not be charged.

"Doesn't even remember the flight," Simon said, explaining the boy was unconscious for most of the plane ride. "Kid's lucky to be alive."

The boy was found to be unharmed and was referred to child protective services.

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