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17 Struggles Everyone Who Procrastinates Can Relate To


Mom Says, Dad Says: The Rules Of Pregnancy

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First question: Is it OK for a man to say, “We’re pregnant?”

Pregnancy is an exciting time for a couple, but it can also be a contentious one. Buzzfeed's parenting editors share their experiences — mom to dad — about some of the most debated questions of pregnancy.

“Is it OK for a man to say, ‘We’re pregnant?’”

“Is it OK for a man to say, ‘We’re pregnant?’”

Dad: Full disclosure: I probably said that once or twice back in the day, but I stopped when I saw how much side-eye I was getting.

Mom: Yeah, the physical act of being pregnant takes a huge toll, and men go through NONE of that. There are less cringe-y ways to announce you’re expecting a kid.

Dad: No, men don’t go through any of that, but those who are involved in the pregnancy play a large role in bringing the baby along, too. They support their partners, rub their backs, and even throw on pants at 3 a.m. to run out and get pickles and chocolate sauce!

Mom: And men have to deal with the stress of what their wife/partner is going through. I agree with that. But still, don’t say it, guys.

Dad: What do you think about saying, “We’re having a baby?”

Mom: We're having a baby is totally kosher, in my mind. We are BOTH having a baby. We are not BOTH pregnant.

Dad: But couldn’t a mom-to-be still say, “I’M having the baby. YOU’RE watching.”

Mom: Yeah, she could. Because it’s technically true.

Dad: Is how someone announces a pregnancy really such a big deal? I mean, who is being more annoying, the guy who says, “We’re pregnant?” Or the woman who checks him and says, “No, you’re not! I am!”

Mom: (Laughs) The woman is worse. But still, guys, just don’t say it.

i.imgur.com

“Is it OK for a mom-to-be to expect her partner to stop drinking in solidarity?”

“Is it OK for a mom-to-be to expect her partner to stop drinking in solidarity?”

Mom: No, that’s stupid and unfair. But it depends on the couple’s relationship with drinking. For example, I don’t drink much, but my husband loves beer. It never crossed my mind to try to limit his beer.

Dad: I don’t think it’s out of line, actually. When you have kids you have to give up so much and take on so much responsibility that if you can’t stop drinking for nine months – if that seems like such a big deal to you – then I don’t see how you’re going to be ready for the larger sacrifices once the baby is here.

Mom: I can see how if a couple drank together frequently, and then the mom-to-be had to stop on account of being pregnant, she might be pissed. There should be a sense of solidarity.

Dad: Maybe it's about being sensitive to your partner. If a woman is chill about her partner’s drinking, fine. But if it bothers her, why wouldn’t he work with her to make her pregnancy easier to manage? Surviving raising a kid together is all about teamwork, and it’s hard, and you need to learn to ease the burden on each other or it ain't gonna work.

Mom: Yes, I agree with that. You have to make compromises no matter what, and this is an easy way to start.

Dad: Again, it's like who's being more annoying, the woman who asks her partner to stop, or the guy who says, "No way, honey! I loves me my beer!"

Mom: The guy is worse.

Dad: Exactly. And it's not like he can NEVER drink. If he’s out at a ballgame or at happy hour with co-workers, he can have a beer there. But he shouldn’t do it in front of the mom-to-be if giving up alcohol has been hard for her.

Getty Images/iStockphoto KatarzynaBialasiewicz

“Should men have a say in whether drugs are used at birth?”

“Should men have a say in whether drugs are used at birth?”

Mom: My husband felt very strongly about a natural birth when I was pregnant. He wanted no drugs. He wanted no waiting for doctors. He wanted me to push when I was ready. He was the crunchiest hippie wife ever.

Dad: Did you do it?

Mom: I got an epidural at 9 centimeters. I tried, but when I was the one in pain and there was a needle there that could end the pain, I was like, “FUCK YOUR NATURAL BIRTH GIVE ME THE DRUGS!”

Dad: From my perspective, I don't really know how you can say to your wife, "I know you're about to experience the most physically painful thing a person can experience, but can you not take any drugs? ‘Cause it might be bad for the baby. OK, keep pushing! Be right back! Gonna get some coffee!”

Mom: Another interesting angle on this question is when a woman asks her partner to be her willpower against drugs. Like, “When I start screaming for drugs, don’t let me get them!” I don’t think that tactic would have stood a chance for us.

Dad: I think men need to step back and let the woman lead in the delivery room. And, for the record, if a man says, "We're pregnant" in the delivery room he deserves a junk punch.

Mom: (laughs) “We’re pushing! We’re crowning!”

Dad: “We’re at 9 centimeters!” No, dude, no.

Mom: In all seriousness, though, while I think saying, "We're pregnant" is lame because the man isn't literally pregnant, in this case the man is equally responsible for the child (it's half his) so he has a say. It's his child's well-being. For example, if at three months along a mom-to-be wanted a glass of wine, her partner would have the right to say, "No, that would hurt my baby." It's similar here.

Dad: So a dad's opinion should be taken into account too.

Mom: Yeah. I don't think it's totally crazy for a dad-to-be to be concerned about the baby being exposed to drugs at birth, but in the end, if the woman has made a best effort to accommodate her partner's wishes, she should have the final say because it involves her body too, not just the baby’s.

ABC


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26 Quotation Marks That Will Make You Reevaluate Your Whole Life

Inside The Most Twisted Season Of "American Horror Story" Yet

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On an exclusive visit to the set of AHS: Freak Show , creator Ryan Murphy and star John Carroll Lynch talk to BuzzFeed about their nightmare-inducing clown creation. Plus, watch a brand-new teaser!

FX

Warning: According to Ryan Murphy — the brain behind Rubber Man, Bloody Face, and dozens of other horrifying creations that've dominated three seasons of FX's American Horror Story — the anthology's fourth season, subtitled Freak Show, features "the most terrifying clown of all time." And given the fact that he whipped out his iPhone to show a photo of said clown when BuzzFeed recently visited the AHS: Freak Show set in New Orleans, consider that assertion confirmed.

When Twisty the Clown (played by John Carroll Lynch) makes his Freak Show debut, pop culture's prevailing nightmare-inducing clown, Pennywise (played by Tim Curry in Stephen King's It), will soon be forgotten. "We said in the writer's room that if we were going to do clowns, we were going to create the most terrifying clown of all time," Murphy told BuzzFeed News. "That was our goal when we were writing him, but I'm worried about people being too afraid of our clown. It's heart-stopping what he does. I'm worried. I'm worried that people are going to have cardiac arrests... The clown's intro in the first episode is ... even I was terrified of it. It's brutal. Two crew members told me they have had nightmares about this clown since we started shooting and they're not even scared of clowns. I think he's pretty extraordinary because, when you see why he's a clown and why he's wearing the mask ... just you wait."

Twisty is made infinitely more intimidating given Lynch's stature. "I have a physical presence that has to be dealt with," the 6-foot-3 character actor told BuzzFeed News on set. And that impact is only exacerbated by elaborate makeup and costume. "People are honestly terrified of me," he said with a laugh of how the cast and crew have reacted to him on set. "Just standing around in the makeup, not even filming. They're freaked out."

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7 Weird Things That Happened Today In History

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There’s something about September 19th.

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed


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An Oral History Of "Sweater Weather"

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Who knew the coziest time of the year had such a totally true, un fabric ated past?

Thinkstock

Sweater weather has become one of the most influential seasons of today's society. Without it, how would we all know when to finally break out our knitted gear?

But how much about its history do we actually know? Some of the top experts in the field are here to discuss the illustrious background of this cultural phenomenon.

Thinkstock

Martha D. Oglethorpe is a renowned historian, currently instructing at Oxford Community College.
Ross MacConnell is an award-winning documentarian, most known for his film Sweater Weather: Cardigan or Cardi-can't.
Chloe Nightingale is a Newbery medalist for her novel "Birds of a Feather Sweater Weather Together."


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21 Totally Transcendent Things That Happen At A Sam Smith Concert

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1. Sam Smith sings

The lights dim, dramatic music begins, and your heart starts racing as his silhouette appears.

He opens with "Nirvana" and his voice is the aural equivalent of your most comforting sweater and a steamy mug of hot cocoa, filling you with immediate peace.

He reaches up to his first falsetto and you are certain you will not make it out of this intimate evening alive.

He reaches up to his first falsetto and you are certain you will not make it out of this intimate evening alive.

Getty Images Laura Cavanaugh

He croons "Leave Your Lover" and everyone in the audience is like, yes, fine, I'll leave my lover, my job, my family, whatever, just please keep singing.

He croons "Leave Your Lover" and everyone in the audience is like, yes, fine, I'll leave my lover, my job, my family, whatever, just please keep singing.

MTV / Via mtv.tumblr.com


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A Blogger Forced Crest Toothpaste To Remove Plastic Pieces

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A dental hygienist’s blog about potentially harmful microbeads went viral. Crest has promised to remove the plastic beads, though maintains that they’re up to ADA standards.

Soap.com

dentalbuzz.com

Dental hygienist Trish Walraven noticed something familiar in toothpaste her daughter picked out at the store. It contained little blue microbeads that she had been seeing stuck in the gumlines of her patients at her dental practice.

She posted a blog entry to her site, Dental Buzz, warning readers to avoid Crest Pro Health toothpaste, since she believes that the microbeads, which are made of a polyethane plastic, are getting stuck in people's gums and leading to gum health issues.

"I've been seeing these blue particles flush out of patients' gums for several months now," she wrote. "So has the co-hygienist in our office. So have many dental hygienists throughout the United States and Canada who have consulted with each other and realized that we have a major concern on our hands."


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10 Questions It's Never OK To Ask A Transgender Person

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According to Against Me!’s Laura Jane Grace.

Maybe you've heard of Against Me!, the incredible Florida punk rock band whose literate and voluble anthems have been celebrated by basically every major music outlet and Bruce Springsteen.

Warner Bros. Records.

Early this year, the band released Transgender Dysphoria Blues, its critically acclaimed sixth album and first since lead singer/songwriter Laura Jane Grace came out as transgender in 2012.

On October 10, Grace will follow up Transgender Dysphoria Blues with True Trans, a 10-part AOL web series about the real lives of transgender people across America.

Against Me!

Grace stopped by BuzzFeed recently for some real talk about the annoying/hurtful questions transgender people deal with every day.

Grace stopped by BuzzFeed recently for some real talk about the annoying/hurtful questions transgender people deal with every day.

David J. Bertozzi / BuzzFeed


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All Police Need To Be More Like The Police From Iceland

20 People Who Waited In The Insanely Long iPhone 6 Line

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“I will never be that degraded ever again.” Meet some of the people waiting in the line to get the iPhone 6.

In Midtown Manhattan people waited in a multiple-blocks-long line at the Fifth Avenue Apple store in anticipation of the 8 a.m. release of the iPhone 6.

In Midtown Manhattan people waited in a multiple-blocks-long line at the Fifth Avenue Apple store in anticipation of the 8 a.m. release of the iPhone 6.

Julia Furlan / BuzzFeed

Many people arrived the night before, sleeping on cardboard on the sidewalk.

Many people arrived the night before, sleeping on cardboard on the sidewalk.

Julia Furlan / BuzzFeed

We asked people waiting in line what they should be doing instead of waiting in line for one of these items that is not a Pop Tart:

We asked people waiting in line what they should be doing instead of waiting in line for one of these items that is not a Pop Tart:

Preet Banjeree / Via Twitter: @preetbanerjee

"Eating om nom nom"

"Eating om nom nom"

Julia Furlan / BuzzFeed


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Miley Cyrus Will Design You A Custom Tattoo For $10,000

19 Struggles All Vintage Shoppers Know To Be True

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Flea market? More like flee market.

Taking a sweater home and finding eight holes of various sizes.

Taking a sweater home and finding eight holes of various sizes.

And of course the return policy = nonexistent.

anchormanmovie.com / Via bryanbolanos.tumblr.com

That mothball smell that doesn't go away. After hand washing it. Ten times.

That mothball smell that doesn't go away. After hand washing it. Ten times.

But hey, at least there are no holes.

cartoonnetwork.com / Via billythelich.tumblr.com

Being unable to match a missing button.

Being unable to match a missing button.

And then having to replace all of them.

Flickr: Kirsty Andrews / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: kirstea

All itchy everything.

All itchy everything.

Curse you, mysterious and unlabeled wool blend.

tumblr.com / Via xe-stuff.tumblr.com


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54 Things You Probably Didn't Know About "Gossip Girl"

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“Hey Upper East Siders…”

The CW

1. Long before they played star-crossed lovers Dan and Serena, Penn Badgley and Blake Lively were home schooled together as children.

2. Lively and Penn also dated in real life from 2007-2010.

3. Penn Badgley was named after the tennis ball company Penn.

4. At age 12, before he got into acting, Badgley recorded a pop single (that was never released).

5. Taylor Momsen's first role at age 7 was as Cindy Lou Who in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

6. One year later, at 8 years old, Momsen wrote a song called Blackout that was recorded and released by Heidi Montag many years later.

The CW

7. Leighton Meester dyed her naturally blonde hair brunette before she even auditioned for the part of Blair.

8. The project was originally supposed to be a movie and Lindsay Lohan was slated to play Blair.

9. Serena's full name is Serena Celia van der Woodsen. The author of the book series is named Cecily von Ziegesar.

10. There's a Manga version of the Gossip Girl book series.

11. Ed Westwick, who plays Chuck, originally auditioned for the role of Nate.

12. Producers didn't want Ed Westwick for either role at first because they said he "looked more like a serial killer than a romantic lead."

13. Ed Westwick's actual favorite movie is American Psycho.


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What NYC Looks Like To A Bike Messenger


24 Things Only Disney Villains Can Get Away With

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Being bad has its benefits.

Murdering your brother so you can take over his kingdom.

Murdering your brother so you can take over his kingdom.

Disney

Having not one, but TWO moray eels as pets.

Having not one, but TWO moray eels as pets.

Disney

Cursing a baby because her parents didn't invite you to her christening.

Cursing a baby because her parents didn't invite you to her christening.

Disney

Committing your crush's father to an insane asylum so she'll decide to marry you.

Committing your crush's father to an insane asylum so she'll decide to marry you.

Disney


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Texas Court Says Upskirt Photos Are Bad, But Legal For Now

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Your move, lawmakers.

maxkabakov/maxkabakov

The Court of Criminal Appeals, the state's highest court for criminal matters, struck down a portion of the Improper Photography law this week because it violated the constitutional right to free speech.

Here's how it broke down:

But with the rise of smartphones, small and discreet cameras are now available to almost everyone, including voyeurs with no qualms about invading a person's privacy.

The technology creates a problem that lawmakers haven't had to deal with before. An upskirt photo taken with a smartphone on a subway or street without the subject's knowledge invades privacy in a public place.

Massachusetts specifically banned upskirt photos — aka secretly photographing or filming a person's intimate parts — after officials realized existing laws didn't acknowledge them.

Texas lawmakers took a broader approach, ultimately banning any photos taken of a person without their consent in public "with intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person."

Creepy? Yeah. Illegal? Not so, the Court of Appeals ruled.

The photos themselves and the act of using a camera are covered by the First Amendment's protections of freedom of speech, the court said. If the photos aren't actually obscene, it's not the government's job to police how a person reacts to them.

People in public can't expect total privacy, the court went on. They are, after all, publicly visible to anyone who might pass by. Even someone taking an upskirt photo.

"A person who walks down a public street cannot prevent others from looking at him or her with sexual thoughts in their heads," the court said.

The original law does accomplish what it aimed to do, criminalize upskirt photos, the court added. But it goes much farther than that, which could lead to the law being misused — which is why they struck it down.

"This statute could easily be applied to an entertainment reporter who takes a photograph of an attractive celebrity on a public street," the court said.


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24 Grandparents Are Way Better At Using The Internet Than You

These Two Persian Cats Are The Weirdest Of Friends

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Writer Kelly Oxford’s two Persians are winning at life.

This is Kelly Oxford. She's the author of Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar, which is wonderful and hilarious and you should read it.

She lives in L.A. with her husband, three children, and ....

instagram.com

Her two Persian cats, Gertie and Gus. They are the stars of her Instagram feed.

instagram.com

Kelly tells BuzzFeed that they were adopted last Christmas: "I found them on PetFinder at a rescue called Helping Persian Cats. They were six months old and could only be adopted as a pair."

I bet her kids were like, "Holy shit Santa is the bomb."

instagram.com

"​Gus is very animal instinctual. We don't think he thinks, he just reacts to things."

instagram.com


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27 Life Lessons Paris And Nicole Taught Us On "The Simple Life"

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Lend us your blonde knowledge.

It's often a good idea to ask a friend for help.

It's often a good idea to ask a friend for help.

20th Century Fox

Sometimes, it's better just to get right to the point.

Sometimes, it's better just to get right to the point.

20th Century Fox

Live every day to the fullest, because life is short.

Live every day to the fullest, because life is short.

20th Century Fox

It's always OK to ask for help in a time of need.

It's always OK to ask for help in a time of need.

20th Century Fox


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