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The Problem With "Gone Girl" Is That There's No "Cool Girl"

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David Fincher’s film, based on Gillian Flynn’s novel, doesn’t so much bring the “Cool Girl” polemic to the masses as dilute its scathing argument. Warning: This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS if you have not read or seen Gone Girl .

Rosamund Pike as Amy Dunne and Ben Affleck as Nick Dunne in Gone Girl

Merrick Morton / Twentieth Century Fox and Regency Enterprises

I spent the first hour of David Fincher's Gone Girl watching Rosamund Pike's performance as Amy Dunne very, very closely. I've admired Pike's work ever since her turn as the amiable eldest Bennet sister in the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice. But I also knew that she could play icy: Just looking at her in the mostly forgotten 2007 movie Fracture, playing alongside The Gos and Anthony Hopkins, you can see that this doe-eyed girl was capable of menace. Not like Helena Bonham Carter-style menace, but Ice Queen, passive-aggressive, manipulative-bitch-with-a-perfect-manicure-style menace.

That's the sort of menace you need to pull off the Amy in the second half of the movie. The Amy who's not evil so much as cunning and fiercely unsentimental. The Amy who speaks truth to the lies of performance set up in Part 1 — the performance of the "Cool Girl."

Gillian Flynn's novel Gone Girl became a publishing phenomenon for its deft plotting, riptide of a narrative, and complex net of twists. But lots of books have good, addictive mysteries at their core. What's set Gone Girl apart, then, is the incredibly culturally resonate trope of the "Cool Girl." When the narrative switches to Amy's perspective in Part 2, the character offers a trenchant commentary on the type of femininity she had been performing — and with which her husband, Nick, had fallen in love — in the first half of the book:

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they're fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men — friends, coworkers, strangers — giddy over these awful pretender women, and I'd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I'd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn't really love chili dogs that much — no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They're not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they're pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you're not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn't want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version — maybe he's a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he's a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn't ever complain.

I quote the passage at length because it's just so incredibly on point — and reflective of a certain mode of femininity that our current cultural moment valorizes and celebrates. (See especially: the star image of reigning starlet Jennifer Lawrence). And Flynn, who also adapted the screenplay, recognized its importance, so much so that it's reproduced, almost verbatim, in voiceover as the "Gone" Amy drives toward her new life. As the voiceover points to the various iterations of the Cool Girl — the one that matches the vegetarian, or the hipster artist — the camera cuts to other cars on the road, filled with Cool Girls matching that description.

I'd been waiting to see how Flynn and Fincher handled the evocation of the Cool Girl, and the scene— the one time in the film that the camera focuses on someone outside of the narrative — definitely felt like a disruptive turning point, and not just because Amy's voice is inflected with the menace and misogyny that would flower for the remaining 90 minutes of the film. It feels disruptive because the Cool Girl that Amy is describing — and that the character Amy portrays so convincingly in the first half of the book — doesn't match the script's characterization of her. Put differently, the First-Half Film Amy isn't, well, cool.

Affleck and Pike in Gone Girl

Merrick Morton / Twentieth Century Fox and Regency Enterprises

She's smart, of course, and beautiful and maybe even likable, but the only time you see a hint of the Cool Girl charisma is during her and Nick's "meet-cute" at a friend's party. There, she comes off as a match to Nick's quick-talking seduction; a tit to his tat, a well-timed raised eyebrow to his well-honed yet seemingly unpracticed pickup line. Her hair is up in a thoughtless ponytail, tendrils haphazardly hanging down in that sexy way that seems totally without artifice. It's the first time we meet Amy, and it sets the tone for the Cool Girl to come.

Only that Amy goes away, replaced by an Amy that's almost annoyingly passive-aggressive (the tone as she "narrates" Amazing Amy at the wedding party) or blandly supportive (her we'll-make-it-through-this recession speech). That's not Cool; that's just an amalgam of various female characters from the last 10 years of bad rom-coms and harping wives in Judd Apatow movies.

Amy needs to be Cool. She needs to be that unbelievable mix of charisma and chill, and to give zero fucks and be all the hotter for it. It's Kate (Olivia Wilde) in Drinking Buddies meets Jamie (Mila Kunis) in Friends With Benefits to the every-public-appearance-of-Jennifer Lawrence power. And while First-Half Amy might have that body and that beauty, she doesn't have that ineffable something, that irresistible gravity. That indelible sense of Cool Girl.

Now, I get that the Cool Girl is a performance. She's a projection of the impossible contradiction of contemporary femininity, which Flynn, ventriloquizing through Amy, describes with such skill in the second half of the book. But in order for us to see Amy's skill and insight — the clear-eyed way that she saw what was expected of her and performed it, immaculately — she has to actually be Cool. She can't just be beautiful, or fairly likable. She has to be transcendent — and then, when the twist turns, and she becomes her "real" self, it illuminates the Cool Girl not as a natural state, but a performance calculated to attract, please, and sate a man's desires.

Without that contrast — and, by extension, the understanding that Amy was motivated by her frustration with the impossible expectations of "perfect" femininity — Amy comes off as a one-dimensional sociopath. The woman with the box cutter and the bloody body of a man who loved her. A caricature. A piece of high camp. A "crazy fucking bitch." And so, the sublimated ideological critique of the book disappears, replaced by the pat narrative logic of the film noir, with a fumbling, rather stupid, yet ultimately victimized male at its core.

Don't get me wrong: Amy is a femme fatale. But the best noirs always showed that the women who provided their narrative combustion weren't born evil; society, and the way it forced women to maneuver within it, made them that way.

The Amy of Fincher's Gone Girl isn't Cool, or complicated, or sympathetic. She's the "crazy fucking bitch" that Nick calls her, yet another example for the eternal argument for women's unhingeability and hysteria.

And the film's avoidance of an engaged interrogation of Cool Girl ideal is what makes it just as hollow, dismissible, and superficial as the version of Amy that inhabits it. It's the major failing of the movie — and what downgrades a transgressive meditation on the politics of gender performance into a run-of-the-mill, if entertaining, thriller.


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23 Cats Who Are Totally Over Their Halloween Costumes

One Woman Finds 100 Stunning Ways To Wear African Fashion

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Diana Opoti reached into her closet and found 100 gorgeous ensembles that are defying cliches and inspiring buyers.

Diana Opoti has traveled the continent in search of innovative designers working creatively with texture, form and color and defying cliches about African fashion. She collected some of her favorites in her 100 Days of African Fashion campaign.

Diana Opoti is a fashion and brand consultant in Nairobi, Kenya, and she hosted a popular television program about African designers. She capped off 100 Days of African Fashion with this ensemble, featuring a clutch in hand-embroidered silk by Neha Designs, a sterling silver ring by Gladys Macharia (Kenya), and a bracelet by Uru Diamonds (Tanzania).

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"I had so many mixed messages about what people perceive about African fashion and what status it had," Opoti said.

Opoti is showing off earrings, bangles and a ring by an up-and-coming jeweller named Gladys Macharia, who uses recycled brass and precious local stones in her designs.

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"African prints" can be a fraught concept. Are they too cliche? Too trendy? Too backward, or too-fashion forward? Chill out, Opoti says. "You don't need to overthink this. Just wear it."

"You want a pencil skirt, it's in a fabric that you like, brilliant! Buy it." That goes for jewelry, too. Ghanian luxury designer Mina Evans' pencil skirt was part of a showcase Evans designed for Vlisco, the haute Dutch wax print company.

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"There's no one definition of 'African' in African fashion."

Ugandan designer Juliana Nasasira's jersey dress, under her label Kwesh, is inspired by African patterns but born of Nasasira's education at the legendary Instituto Maringoli in Italy. Opoti likes the diversity the dress introduces.

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Patriots Give Touching Tribute To Opponent's Daughter Who Is Battling Cancer

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#LeahStrong

On Sunday night, during the Cincinnati-New England game, the Patriots cheerleaders put on a No. 75 jersey as a tribute to Bengals defensive lineman Devon Still, whose 4-year-old daughter, Leah, is battling cancer.

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In June, Leah was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer and given a 50-50 chance of survival.

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To help raise money and awareness about pediatric cancer, the Cincinnati Bengals announced that all of the proceeds from the sales of Still's jersey would be donated to the pediatric research efforts of the Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

To help raise money and awareness about pediatric cancer, the Cincinnati Bengals announced that all of the proceeds from the sales of Still's jersey would be donated to the pediatric research efforts of the Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

This, after Still had been cut from their 53-man roster, and then signed to the practice squad so Leah would be covered under the team's health insurance policy.

Twitter: @Bengals


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31 Intense And Stirring Photos From Inside The Hong Kong Protests

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Tens of thousands in Hong Kong have taken to the streets to call for democratic elections. .

PHILIPPE LOPEZ/AFP / Getty Images

PHILIPPE LOPEZ/AFP / Getty Images

OLLEROS/AFP / Getty Images


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This Woman Can Sing Multiple Notes At Once And It's Pretty Mindblowing

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It’s called overtone singing, and it’s freakin’ impressive.

"Overtone singing is a voice technique where one person sings two notes at the same time," Hefele explains. She's been practicing the technique for almost ten years.

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As io9 pointed out, it's especially cool at 3:25 when she moves the notes in opposite directions.

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27 Incredibly Easy Ways To Upgrade Any Halloween Party

Chanel Staged A "Feminist Protest" At Their Paris Fashion Week Show

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“Women’s rights are more than alright!”

For this season's fashion show in Paris, Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel held a feminist protest.

For this season's fashion show in Paris, Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel held a feminist protest.

Youssef Boudlal / Reuters

It was led by Cara Delevingne.

It was led by Cara Delevingne.

WireImage Dominique Charriau

Signs included "Tweed is Better Than Tweet" and "Boys Should Get Pregnant Too."

Signs included "Tweed is Better Than Tweet" and "Boys Should Get Pregnant Too."

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

They reminded us that freedom should be free and that girls should dare to be different.

They reminded us that freedom should be free and that girls should dare to be different.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters


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293 Thoughts I Had While Watching "Gilmore Girls" For The First Time

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45. I’ve officially started singing the theme song at this point.

Warner Bros.

For years, Girlmore Girls has been an embarrassing blind spot in my pop culture life, like The Wire or Freaks and Geeks. So with all seven seasons of Amy Sherman-Palladino's series — revolving around history's most beloved mother and daughter — available to stream on Netflix beginning on Oct. 1, I decided to get a head start and binge-watch the whole first season on DVD.

Going in, I knew very little about Gilmore Girls — I was aware of Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory (Alexis Bledel); that Lorelai shared a very long flirtmance with Luke (Scott Patterson), who owned a diner and might be balding because he wears a lot of baseball caps; Rory's myriad of men — most of whom went on to get their own WB shows — a pair of extremely posh grandparents; Melissa McCarthy playing a character named Sookie years before Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse Novels and True Blood Sookie; something about a hotel; something about weekly dinners; a lot of Sorkin-esque fast talking; and a town called Stars Hollow, where it was always autumn.

I also knew that people loved this show. Like, deeply, passionately, crazily. I knew there would be 'shipping and swooning and many opportunities for my own dysfunctional childhood to seem quaint by comparison.

So I stocked up on coffee (which was very apt in retrospect) and sat down for a 21-hour marathon of Gilmore Girls. Here's what I thought.

Episode 1: "Pilot"

Episode 1: "Pilot"

Warner Bros.

1. Oh, the "g" in Gilmore girls is lowercase.
2. Show opens with "There She Goes" playing. The first reminder (of many, I'm assuming) that this show is old.
3. A sign informs me that Stars Hollow was founded in 1779. That same year this song was released.
4. "I lost my Macy Gray CD." Yep. Old.
5. First laugh of the show comes courtesy of Rory asking that creeper, "Are you my new daddy?" Sold.
6. And now Rory is wearing the biggest sweater I've ever seen.
7. Oh wow, Jared Padalecki really grew into his face.
8. Did my town have teen hayrides?
9. Oh, so Melissa McCarthy was always incredible. It just took the world a long time to recognize that.
10. Eighteen minutes in and there are already a billion lines I want to quote forever and ever.
11. No one is — or ever has looked — younger than Jared Padalecki.

Best Line of the Episode
Lorelai: "I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink, OK? I had to figure out how to live. I found a good job."


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22 British Women Reveal What It's Really Like To Be In An Abusive Relationship

The Courier Mail Sparks Outrage Over Transphobic Story On Murder Victim

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The Queensland newspaper used a trans slur on the front page to describe Mayang Prasetyo.

The 27-year-old woman was killed by her husband Marcus Peter Volke, who then ended his own life as police arrived at their Brisbane apartment.

The 27-year-old woman was killed by her husband Marcus Peter Volke, who then ended his own life as police arrived at their Brisbane apartment.

The Courier Mail


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This Baby Giving The Finger Is Exactly How You Feel About Mondays

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And on this day, no f*cks were given.

No other human being in the history of human existence has ever described your Monday mood more perfectly than this baby.

NOT ONE.

vine.co

Like, this baby literally doesn't give a fuck about your feelings, and it's amazing.

Like, this baby literally doesn't give a fuck about your feelings, and it's amazing.

GIFBrewery / Via vine.co

23 People Who Painfully Overestimated Their Intelligence

These People Sexted Their Parents For Money

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Congratulations! You just sexted your mom.

How much money would it take for you to sext your mom or dad?

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Of course, there were a few contestants that didn't make the video, who should still be honored for sexting their parents.

BuzzFeed / Alex (pictured)


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16 Times Scott Disick Totally Owned The Kardashians


Australia Wants To Light Up With Massive #YesToPot Campaign

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4:20 Blaze It.

An innovative online and street campaign run by SBS has revealed, somewhat unsurprisingly, Australians overwhelmingly want to smoke weed legally.

An innovative online and street campaign run by SBS has revealed, somewhat unsurprisingly, Australians overwhelmingly want to smoke weed legally.

Supplied.

A network spokesman told BuzzFeed more than 65,000 people have voted on the eve of its special Insight program; with the #YesToPot campaign receiving nearly 90% support.

Part of the campaign has seen large billboards containing synthetic cannabis plants erected in Melbourne and Sydney, with passers-by encouraged to cast a vote.

When a vote is cast one of the cannabis plants gets gassed with weedkiller.

SBS Insight also interviewed those who voted and said #YesToPot.

SBS Insight also interviewed those who voted and said #YesToPot.

SBS Insight


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This Cat Is All Of Us When We're Hangry

Tony Abbott Undies To Make You Go NOPE

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Glam your clam.

Etsy - known for both brilliant and WTF purchases - has thrown up a new one: white, cotton undies with Tony Abbott's winking face on them.

Etsy - known for both brilliant and WTF purchases - has thrown up a new one: white, cotton undies with Tony Abbott's winking face on them.

etsy.com

The Abbott undies are the brainchild of Swedish entrepenuer Isa Lappalainen, who currently lives in Melbourne. Her "Glam Your Clam" series also has some other choice Aussie legends... like Ned Kelly.

The Abbott undies are the brainchild of Swedish entrepenuer Isa Lappalainen , who currently lives in Melbourne. Her "Glam Your Clam" series also has some other choice Aussie legends... like Ned Kelly.

etsy.com

You could tell someone "that's not a knife" with these stylish Dundee undies.

You could tell someone "that's not a knife" with these stylish Dundee undies.

etsy.com

And avoid stingrays and gropers with some Steve Irwins.

And avoid stingrays and gropers with some Steve Irwins.

etsy.com


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46 Clues You Need To Know About "American Horror Story: Freak Show"

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From the first two episodes… and from under the blanket beneath which I am shivering. Warning: Possible spoilers ahead!

FX via ultimatemoviefanatic.tumblr.com

1. The show begins on Saturday, Sept. 3, 1952.
2. And it will give you a new respect for milk men.
3. A matricide will set the plot into motion.
4. Jessica Lange — as the woman at the helm of the Cabinet of Curiosities, Elsa Mars — can really rock a uniform because she is Jessica Lange.
5. But you may initially be confused by her German accent.
6. You will see Evan Peters, as Jimmy Darling, in a leather newsboy cap.
7. You will be terrified to go on a picnic ever again.
8. Expect an Asylum reference.
9. And totally fabulous diva-esque lines like, "Oh, darling. Stars never pay."

Jessica Lange as Elsa Mars.

Michele K. Short/FX


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What You Say On Halloween Vs. What You Actually Mean

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Trick-or-treating sounds like a great idea, guys!

What you say: "Oh, I definitely would love to carve some pumpkins!"

What you say: "Oh, I definitely would love to carve some pumpkins!"

Disney / tumblr.com

What you mean: "I have just signed myself up for an afternoon of embarrassment. Pumpkin carving is HARD."

What you mean: "I have just signed myself up for an afternoon of embarrassment. Pumpkin carving is HARD."

ABC Family / wifflegif.com

What you say when someone suggests trick-or-treating: "Yeah, OK!"

What you say when someone suggests trick-or-treating: "Yeah, OK!"

Fox / tumblr.com

What you mean: "Yeah, no. That's weird."

What you mean: "Yeah, no. That's weird."

NBC / tumblr.com


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