Would You Rather Give Up Cheese Or Oral Sex?
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18 Problems All Parents Will Understand On Halloween
The only thing you’re going to be for Halloween is exhausted.
Stumbling across the Halloween stuff at Target in August and trying to keep your kids from getting Halloween fever.
It is way too early for this, Target.
Flickr: stacylynn / Via Creative Commons
Discouraging your kids from saying "stupid" after they watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
How many times exactly do the Peanuts say "stupid" in this thing?
Warner Bros. Television
Trying to carve a pumpkin that looks halfway decent without cutting yourself in the process.
And then there's all the cleanup afterward. Good times!
Getting tagged in a photo from a Halloween party you went to in college and your kid seeing it.
Now you seriously regret insisting that your kid "friend" you on Facebook.
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Everyone Is Confused By The Sad-Looking Orangutan In These Adverts
“We have frozen our energy prices. Here is a sad Orangutan.”
(Is the ape on holiday? Does it live there? Do apes visit cottages? Is this inside an ape daydream?)
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24 Reasons Erykah Badu Is The Reason For All Things
The list goes on and on…and on and on.
Because you never looked at $3.60 the same way again after "On and On."
VH1 / Via youtube.com
And the way she sang about baggage in "Bag Lady" made us all want to drop everything.
Her video was inspired by Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Was Enuf.
Motown Records / Via africaleb.tumblr.com
Because when she sang "Love of My Life" about hip hop, we wished it was about us.
Geffen Records / Via spacecadet.tumblr.com
She stunned the internet with one of the best video concepts in "Windowseat."
... and one of the best asses.
Universal Motown Records / Via youtube.com
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Let's Actually Talk About Birth Control
Because we all have a lot of questions.
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19 Cats Who Had No Idea You'd Be Home So Early
“YOU SAID YOU’D BE OUT FOR AT LEAST 30 MINUTES.”
"We were just...uh...hi."
"Me and the dog were just playing, I promise."
"You could've at least knocked."
"I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT FELT LIKE IN YOUR SHOES."
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Premiere: Mary J. Blige Takes London In The Video For Disclosure-Produced "Right Now"
A queen abroad.
Mary J. Blige, Queen of Contemporary Soul and Keeper of ~The Feels~, is having a bit of a renaissance thanks to a fruitful collaboration with London's best and brightest purveyors of modern R&B.
Jonathan Leibson / Getty Images for Ferrari North America
Her 13th album, The London Sessions, was largely co-written with real-life cherub Sam Smith and his right-hand-man Jimmy Napes, with production help from Disclosure and Naughty Boy, among others.
Brit Award-winner Emeli Sandé co-wrote the previously released and exquisitely vulnerable "Whole Damn Year."
Disclosure-produced lead single "Right Now" — an impressively seamless blend of fizzy, deep house music and vintage, midtempo balladry — gets an appropriately slick video, premiering right here on BuzzFeed.
Island Records.
In the clip, Queen Mary hits the streets of London — Land of Royals — and naturally feels at home.
Island Records.
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Lauren Conrad Just Chopped Off Her Signature Long Locks
Spoiler: her hair still looks like the actual definition of perfection.
Lauren Conrad is basically a Pinterest board come to life at all hours of the day, and one thing the girl always has on point is her glorious, glorious hair.
Via weheartit.com
It looks magical with a clown costume:
It looks great with a flower crown:
It looks good paired with a pizza:
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9 U.S. Presidents If They Were Pokémon
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Two Artists Are Taking Hijab Selfies And Declaring "Damn, I Look Good"
“Everyone deserves to have that feeling of ‘Damn, I look good’ about themselves.” BuzzFeed News spoke to the artists behind the selfie project.
In an effort to promote tolerance and challenge popular perceptions, two artists are asking women who wear hijabs to snap a selfie, post it online, and declare: "Damn, I look good."
The artists behind the #DamnILookGood hashtag are Pakistani-American artists Qinza Najm and Saks Afridi.
For the festival they used niqabs donated by local Muslim women who they say were eager to spark a dialogue about their preferred dress.
The pair told BuzzFeed News they wanted to "approach beauty from an angle that pertained to Islamophobia".
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21 Foods That Forgot How To Food
Flavours that should never have been, and yet were.
Whale beer.
This controversial Icelandic beer is made with whale meal and will apparently make you "a true Viking". Brewery spokesman Dagbjartur Arilíusson described the taste as something "in between beef and fish." So now you know.
Thanksgiving gumballs.
Bringing together the flavours of turkey, pumpkin, cranberries and gum! Finally.
Chocolate with bacon and potato crisps.
It's like there's a party in your mouth and someone threw up on the carpet!
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Sergeant-At-Arms Hailed As Hero For Stopping Ottawa Attacks Gets Moving Standing Ovation In Parliament
Kevin Vickers, the man credited with killing the Ottawa terror suspect and preventing further bloodshed, gets a prolonged and thunderous ovation the day after the shooting in the very building that was under attack. Vickers appeared to struggle to hold back tears.
Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers, the man credited with shooting and killing Ottawa terror suspet Michael Zehaf-Bibeau on Wednesday, returned to Canadian Parliament on Thursday morning to a massive standing ovation.
Via ctvnews.ca
As he entered the House of Commons to the thunderous applause, Vickers was visibly emotional.
Via ctvnews.ca
Zehaf-Bibeau, described by Prime Minister Stephen Harper as an “ISIL-inspired terrorist,” is accused of killing soldier Nathan Cirillo at the National War Memorial before going on a shooting rampage on Parliament Hill.
Via ctvnews.ca
Vickers was praised by multiple parliamentarians for acting fast and shooting Zehaf-Bibeau before he could kill again.
Via ctvnews.ca
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Jessica Lange Slayed Singing Lana Del Rey's "Gods And Monsters" On "AHS"
♪ Oh yeah, give it to me ♪
In the first episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show, Jessica Lange (as Elsa Mars) sang David Bowie's "Life on Mars."
Her eyeliner matched her suit (yes, suit) and it was pretty fantastic.
FX
But in the third episode, she performed Lana del Rey's "Gods and Monsters" in a freaking boa and it was perfection.
FX
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24 Times Dogs Were Your Favorite Sibling
Because dogs are the best kind of people .
When this snuggler spent all day watching his brother's favorite cartoons.
When this protective pup was keeping an eye out for his best bud.
When this handsome guy was the best babysitter anyone could ask for.
When this patient pup let his little brother use him as a pillow.
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This Is What Happens When You Eat 15 Slices Of NYC Pizza In One Day
Brace yourself for a cheesy epic.
Norberto Briceño/ MTA
As I'm wrapping up my 25th year of life on this earth, I can't help but feel like time is slipping away. We have this little window of existence, and it's important to enjoy it to the fullest.
I fucking love pizza. Because, let's be real: Pizza is awesome. Pizza is life. Pizza is, quite frankly, the shit. So, as I'm about to turn 26, I wanna celebrate life by eating a shit ton of pizza because WHY THE FUCK NOT?
For this, I will be going to the pizza capital of the world, New York City (sorry Chicago), and I'm going to eat 15 glorious slices from pizza spots all over the city. The selection for these pizza parlors has been democratically decided by a committee of me, only me, and no one else but me. But I have imposed some rules that I must follow (because after all, I am a responsible 25-year-old adult):
1. Pizza parlors MUST serve slices. So New York favorites like Grimaldi's, Lombardi's, or Patsy's are out of the running.
2. The pizza parlors must come from all five New York City boroughs (Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, and Staten Island).
3. I can only get around using NYC public transportation.
4. I will order whatever I want.
5. Go big or go home (I have to finish every slice. Leaving out the crust is OK, though).
6. Do not, under any circumstances, die.
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29 Truths Anyone From A Big, Crazy Family Understands
As told by the Kardashian-Jenners.
When you have a crazy family, things go down a little differently than they do in other households.
E! / Via elasticize.tumblr.com
You get *REALLY* excited when someone you're happy to see walks in the door.
E! / Via stronzilli-blog.tumblr.com
And you have your own, unique way of showing your love.
E! / Via class-ygirls.tumblr.com
It's hard to anticipate exactly what could possibly happen on any given day.
E! / Via thebostongays.tumblr.com
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The Curious Incident Of Adapting Challenging Novels Into Ambitious New Plays
Two new New York stage productions transform complex novels into equally complex and inherently risky plays. Instead of relying on the source material, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and The Fortress of Solitude amplify it to become powerful theatrical experiences.
Alexander Sharp (center) and the cast of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Joan Marcus
"I find people confusing," says Christopher in his narration of Mark Haddon's 2003 novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Christopher has reason to be confused: People are walking contradictions who say things they don't mean, which is especially troubling to Christopher. He has a condition the book never diagnoses, but which has been analyzed by critics as Asperger's syndrome or another form of high-functioning autism.
With Christopher as the narrator, Curious Incident retains a unique, deceptively complex style: Although Christopher clearly relates the events of the plot, which involve his absent mother and the murder of a neighbor's dog, the simplistic language underlines his difficulty processing emotions and making sense of the world around him.
If the novel is a quiet reflection on how a boy like Christopher perceives, the theatrical adaptation of Curious Incident, now playing at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre in New York, is a loud, thrilling look at what it's like to live inside Christopher's sensory overloaded head. The play, which first premiered in London in 2012, is an ambitious and, at times, overwhelming production — sights and sounds assault the audience in the same way that they do Christopher, played by the phenomenal Alexander Sharp. The stage moves and shifts, displaying an endless onslaught of flashing lights and booming voices, all designed to capture the chaos within Christopher's mind. It's a different approach from the book but it's perhaps one of the most gripping depictions of one part of the autism spectrum, a stunning achievement that can only happen in live theater.
Sharp as Christopher in Curious Incident
Joan Marcus
Adapting literature to the stage is nothing new: Many of the most iconic Broadway musicals of all time, including Les Misérables, The Phantom of the Opera, and Wicked, began as novels. But these were fairly straightforward adaptations that condensed and streamlined the plots of their source material and largely simplified the narrative. That's not a mark against them — the best of these shows succeed in their own right — but as far as adaptation goes, it's a relatively simple process. Ditch the extraneous characters, highlight the most important themes, and sing the exposition.
What's fascinating about the theatrical iteration of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is that playwright Simon Stephens has taken an intricate novel and adapted it into something equally complex and challenging. Much like the book, Curious Incident on stage is a joy to take in — but it's not an easy journey for the audience. This is a play that asks you to see through Christopher's eyes, witnessing both the good and the bad and offering an experience that's incredibly moving and, at times, almost too much to endure.
That's not to downplay the simpler pleasures of Curious Incident, which is often warm, funny, and even downright joyous. But special attention must be paid to an adaptation that manages to be so thoroughly original — even for those familiar with Haddon's novel, the play offers something entirely new. The mystery of who killed Wellington the poodle is secondary to the inner workings of Christopher's mind, which — as he explains with the use of a lively multimedia presentation — takes in everything all at once.
It would be naïve to say that simply seeing the show allows the audience to understand what it's like to live with a form of autism, but the play does provide valuable, experiential insight. The world that Christopher lives in is bright and terrifying, which makes his failures all the more devastating — and his achievements that much more thrilling.
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21 Questions All Bros Must Answer Immediately
Please write your responses on the back of your DMB ticket stubs.
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A Magnificent Wildebeest Migration Has Been Captured On Camera
Wildlife photographer Will Burrard-Lucas caught this once-a-year event in a timelapse video .
There are 1.5 million wildebeest in the Serengeti-Masai Mara ecosystem. Every year, around May or June, they follow the rain to find greener pastures to graze on.
Life is hard if you're a wildebeest: You have to cross the Mara River, which is home to crocodiles with a taste for your flesh. You're also preyed upon by lions, cheetahs, wild dogs, and hyenas.
But you just have to take it in your stride.
Will Burrard-Lucas / youtube.com
This five-day timelapse shows what that migration looks like.
The footage was shot in Northern Serengeti, Tanzania, by wildlife photographer Will Burrard-Lucas. A version of this timelapse made Burrard-Lucas a finalist in the "Special Award: Timelapse" category of Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2014.
Will Burrard-Lucas / youtube.com
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26 Problems Only International School Kids Will Understand
“Your accent is so weird.”
People always want to know why you've moved a zillion times in your life.
Just say your dad's James Bond.
BBC / Via fuckyeahreactions.tumblr.com
Then they ask: "Where was your favourite place to live?"
MTV
Not having a traditional sense of home means you never know who to support during the World Cup/Olympics/Eurovision.
No one really understands your accent.
The International School accent is basically a medley of all accents, but people just assume you're American.
E4
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