Probably time to hire a new contractor. H/T /r/MildlyInfuriating.
27 Photos That Will Make You Irrationally Mad At The World
17 Celebrity Instagrams You Need To See This Week
Holiday edition!
Taylor Swift got some personalized cat-carrying bags.
Reese Witherspoon was a Wreath Witherspoon.
Oprah and friends wore some jammies.
Mindy Kaling enjoyed Hawaii.
17 Reminders Of Why Kim Kardashian Is A True Style Icon
And don’t you forget it.
Remember October 14, 2007?
Getty Images Charley Gallay
Remember June 21, 2007?!
Getty Images Charley Gallay
Remember May 16, 2007????
Getty Images Evan Agostini
Remember May 10, 2007?!?!
Getty Images Charley Gallay
Things Jane Austen Characters Get Away With That You Just Can't
A turn about the room?
Via youtube.com
24 Movies You Probably Missed This Year, But Should Totally See
Just because these 2014 movies flew under the radar — and each grossed less than $10 million at the U.S. box office this year — that doesn’t mean they aren’t so very worth your time.
1. Actress
Cinema Guild
Playing Theresa D'Agostino in Seasons 3 and 4 of The Wire was a major break for Brandy Burre, the biggest role of her career. But she retired not long after to move to upstate New York to raise her two children with her then-partner Tim Reinke. Filmmaker Robert Greene was her neighbor in the small town of Beacon, and made this fascinating portrait of Burre keeping house, trying to get back into acting, and navigating the end of her relationship. It's a documentary, but it's also a dreamily subjective peek into the mind-set of someone who's always performing, and always aware of the camera. Burre is constantly trying to reshape the movie of her life — she's been playing the role of a Douglas Sirk housewife for a while, and now she's trying to find herself a new one. Greene's film is small, but so worth seeking out — it reshapes what you think docs can be like, and what they can do. —Alison Willmore
Where you can see it: In theaters
2. Blue Ruin
Anchor Bay Entertainment
The stealthily brilliant premise of Jeremy Saulnier's lo-fi thriller is that sad-eyed hero Dwight (Macon Blair) approaches his quest for revenge like he's the hero of a much slicker movie than the one he's actually in. When the man who murdered his parents is released from prison, Dwight's attempt to kill the guy ends up being a sloppy, wince-inducing mess, and things only escalate from there until he's in a standoff with a whole family, battling over wrongs that will never be righted. Dwight's not stupid — like most humans, he's not a natural killing machine. Blue Ruin's well-staged action pile-up ends up being as believable, surprising, and occasionally as funny as it is tragic. —A.W.
Where you can see it: On DVD and Blu-ray, digital rental, and Netflix streaming
51 Thoughts All Single People Have At New Year's Eve Parties
Can’t wait to kiss no one!
Walt Disney Pictures / Via whatshouldtheatrecallme.tumblr.com
1. All right, let's scope out the potential kissers.
2. Hmm, that guy's cute.
3. Wait, who's that coming towards him?
4. Oh. Must be his girlfriend. Dammit.
5. Maybe they're just friends.
6. Yeah, no. Not just friends. Friends don't kiss like that. At least, my friends don't...
7. Okay, onto option number two...
8. Hellllloooooo, gorgeous!
9. I bet he's a good kisser.
Tribute Movies / Via monteithmichele.tumblr.com
10. Should I go talk to him?
11. Oh, God, he's looking this way.
12. ABORT, ABORT!
13. I'll just pull out my phone and pretend I'm talking to someone.
14. Yeah, that'll look natural.
15. He's gotta fall for it and move along now.
16. Nothing to see here, sir.
17. He's coming this way.
18. This is not a drill.
19. I repeat, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
17 Encouraging GIFs To Pick You Up When You're Feeling Down
Sometimes, life sucks, but it doesn’t always suck.
Listen to Donnie Darko:
Pandora Cinema / Newmarket Films / Via http://davidsawesomeworld.tumblr.com
Johnny Depp knows what's up:
Via http://peoplespiration.tumblr.com
Doctor's orders:
~swoon~
BBC / Via kirbyfood / http://reddit.com
Think of all that shit Sam Winchester's been through, and he still says this:
(Plus, he's also nice to look at.)
The CW / Via http://daniuseswords.com
The 32 Best Aaron Paul Faces Of 2014
He’s a man of many facial expressions, bitch.
The "please, no photos" face.
INI/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
His ~havin' a good time~ face.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
His "I'm at Coachella" face.
Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
His "I just sharted a bit" face.
API/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
13 Excruciating Problems Only Smart People Understand
Group projects just mean double the work for you.
youtube.com / Via youtube.com
This Week's Top 10 Champions Of Extreme Cuteness
The submissions from this week’s Cute or Not contest were the definite champions of cute. Don’t forget to submit your own pet and vote!
Kritter, the festive hedgehog who makes Santa hats look cuter than ever before.
Cute factor: Teeny little hedgie teeth that he shows off every time he wants to flash you a smile.
Favorite activity: Head butting his mom when she wakes him up too early.
Andi, the teeniest little puppy with the most ginormous heart.
Cute factor: Andi's sheer size is what takes his cuteness to the next level. He's barely bigger than a Christmas bow!
Favorite activity: Hopping around in the grass like a fluffy little bunny.
Voldemort, the kitty who you actually want to cuddle.
Cute factor: He rocks a Gryffindor scarf, is there anything cuter than that?!
Favorite activity: Giving little kitty kisses and showing the world that not ALL Voldemorts are villains.
Moxie, the pup who's so adorable she can get away with nearly anything.
Cute factor: Those INCREDIBLY CUTE puppy dog eyes.
Favorite activity: Stealing a little snackie off her mom's plate every night before dinner starts.
22 Of The Most WTF Things That Have Ever Happened On Tumblr
This website can make you question everything you ever knew.
The time someone shaved Zeus.
Nooo put it back.
This hairstyle.
Possibly the weirdest fan fiction on Tumblr.
Actually knowing tumblr this probably doesn't even make top 50.
This terrifying thought.
The 12 Most Successful Original Films Of 2014
Movies that are not sequels, prequels, remakes, or adaptations of novels, comic books, popular toy lines, or true stories are growing ever more scarce — but some did, at least, make money this year.
Universal; Warner Bros.; Universal; Universal; 20th Century Fox
There are many encouraging effects of Sony Pictures' decision to allow theaters to screen The Interview on Dec. 25, but perhaps one of the least acknowledged is the fact that it brings the last original studio movie of 2014 to screens nationwide. It's probably a minor consideration for Sony (if one at all), but in a year in which all top 10 grossing films stateside were either sequels or based on pre-existing creative properties, the addition of any original creative work born solely from its filmmakers' imaginations is a significant one.
As Grantland contributor Mark Harris recently laid out, Hollywood's entire business model — and therefore, the moviegoing diet of the vast majority of Americans — has been overtaken with sequels, prequels, reboots, remakes, reimaginings, and adaptations. As a point of contrast, 15 years ago, six original films cracked the top 10 domestic grossers of the year. But even prestige-y, awards-y movies that largely don't bother to compete with major studio releases have also become dominated with telling pre-existing stories: Just this year, Selma, The Theory of Everything, The Imitation Game, Wild, Foxcatcher, Unbroken, and Mr. Turner are all based on real people and real events (and all but Selma, Foxcatcher, and Mr. Turner were adaptations of books).
Of course, movies based on other things are often quite good — occasionally, even great — but they shouldn't be the only kind of movie. More and more, however, as far as Hollywood is concerned, they are. Original films do still get made, but they are fewer and farther between — of the top 50 grossers of the year in the U.S., just 12 of them are wholly original productions. Last year, that number was 15.
As you'll see in the list below, some of that drop could be chalked up to quality — namely, a lack of it. But as Harris noted in his essay, Hollywood's resources — both financial and creative — are finite. If the best minds and the most money are being invested in shepherding a suite of franchises scheduled through the rest of the decade, there is that much less oxygen for purely original creativity to thrive.
All box office data courtesy Box Office Mojo, and as of Sunday, Dec. 21.
Interstellar
Total domestic gross: $171,535,531
Total global gross: $635,535,531
Rank for 2014 domestic box office: 15
Let's set aside for the moment the movie's wordy portentousness, and marvel instead that co-writer/director Christopher Nolan is using his clout as arguably the most powerful filmmaker in Hollywood today (arguably!) to make an original movie with as much scope and ambition as this one. Its considerable global box office puts Interstellar ninth worldwide for the year, and makes as plain a case as possible that investing in a filmmaker's original vision can pay off handsomely.
In fact, let's invent a new thing. How about we start calling original filmmakers "human franchises" instead? Perhaps then Hollywood will pay more attention to supporting them.
Melinda Sue Gordon / Warner Bros.
Neighbors
Total domestic gross: $150,157,400
Total global gross: $268,157,400
Rank for all 2014 domestic box office: 18
Another human franchise: Seth Rogen, who was having a very good year (until this month) thanks to the runaway success of last May's very funny twentysomething college student vs. thirtysomething new parent comedy. In addition to starring in the film, Rogen produced Neighbors with his creative partner Evan Goldberg. The duo also wrote, produced, and directed last year's very funny — and quite original — apocalyptic comedy This Is the End, and they wrote, produced, and directed The Interview. What I'm saying here is that Rogen and Goldberg are arguably (arguably!) the biggest force in original comedy today, and I really, really hope the fallout from The Interview debacle doesn't diminish their commitment or ability to make original movies.
Glen Wilson / Universal
Tell Us About Yourself(ie): David Arquette
Jeff Bottari / Getty. Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed.
What's your wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
My fiancé Christina, my son Charlie and my daughter Coco.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
Vodka on the rocks with lime.
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
In 2014: "Amazing."
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
Jeff 1000 — if I mention Jeff five times in this interview Wired.com will give me a set of steak knives.
Who is the last person that called or texted you?
My fiancé Christina.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
When I called Tom Cruise Sean Penn... I didn't handle it well.
When is the last time you went to a theater?
On Friday to see Top 5 in Baldwin Hills.
What TV show should everyone should be watching?
Black Mirror.
And what is your TV guilty pleasure?
The People's Couch.
What's the first CD you bought?
Madness... I don't remember which album.
What is the one food you cannot resist?
Roscoes chicken and waffles.
What music are you currently listening to?
The Wow and Abstrakto
What movie makes you laugh the most?
Dumb and Dumber.
What drives you absolutely crazy?
Mean people.
What was your first online screen name?
tinybillybow.
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
Puppies
New York or Los Angeles?
Los Angeles
Comedy or drama?
Comedy
Bacon or Nutella?
I love them both
Coffee or tea?
Coffee
'80s or '90s?
2015!
NSYNC or BSB?
BSB
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
Hannah Montana.. Duh.
And finally: tell us a secret.
I also am a dramatic actor.
Jeff 1000 is currently available on YouTube.com/WIRED and TheScene.com/WIRED.
20 Reasons "10 Things I Hate About You" Is A Cinematic Masterpiece
15 years later and it is still so damn relatable.
Kat understands the hardships of being a woman.
Buena Vista Pictures
Baby JGL doesn't take shit from anyone.
Buena Vista Pictures
Heath knows the truth.
We were all guilty of thinking of him naked during this movie.
Buena Vista Pictures
When this quote was too real.
I feel you, Kat.
Buena Vista Pictures
We Asked 25 People If They'd Go On A One-Way Trip To Mars
I asked people in Times Square if they want to go to the red planet, even if it means they’ll die there. This is what they said.
Earlier this month, NASA announced plans to send astronauts to Mars by the 2030s.
But here's the catch: You might never return. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin said that the first pioneers to land on Mars should not come back to Earth, meaning you'd die there. Would you go?
Nasa / Reuters
Jon Premosch / BuzzFeed News
Jon Premosch / BuzzFeed News
Jon Premosch / BuzzFeed News
19 Reasons Hugh Grant Would Make The Perfect Husband
The dancing scene from Love Actually should be enough to seal the deal.
He understands when you want to be alone.
Need some space? Not a problem.
Gramercy Pictures / Rank Film Distributors
He's honest...to a fault.
What ya see is what ya get.
Universal Pictures
His booty.
Speaks for itself.
Universal Pictures
If you run into his arms, he'll actually catch you.
It'll be a magical moment, indeed.
Warner Bros.
35 Viral News Stories From 2014 That Were Actually Totally Untrue
The internet sits on a throne of lies.
A woman did not have plastic surgery to give herself three breasts.
You cannot charge your iPhone 6 by putting it in the microwave because that will actually destroy your iPhone and your microwave.
A Syrian boy did not risk his life to save a girl from a hail of gunfire.
Lars Klevberg
Pumpkin spice-flavoured condoms were not a thing.
This Mom Has Chronicled Her Entire Pregnancy In The Most Stylish Way Possible
Mom + Toddler + Fashion + Belly = Awesome
19 Times People Got Body-Shamed In 2014
Fat-shaming, skinny-shaming, food-shaming, butt-shaming, clothing-shaming… You name it, 2014 had it all.
Old Navy charged more for women's plus-size clothes.
Women's Rockstar Super Skinny Rockstar Jeans, size 6: $34.50
Women's Rockstar Super Skinny Rockstar Jeans, size 26: $44.94
Men's Premium Skinny Jeans, any old size: $39.94
When an Old Navy customer noticed that women's plus-size clothes are priced higher than non-plus sizes, while men's clothes' prices never change within a style, irrespective of size, she started a Change.org petition that eventually got 95,000 signatures. The petition demanded that the store end its discriminatory pricing, which Old Navy's parent company, The Gap, defended, saying that the higher prices for women's plus-size items are the result of using "unique fabrics and design elements." Worth noting here is that other clothing brands like Aeropostale and American Eagle don't charge differently for plus sizes and non-plus.
The Gap hasn't changed the way plus-size clothes are priced, but it's said it will hold quarterly focus groups "to further enhance our plus size collections."
change.org / Via change.org
17 Of The Most Feminist Songs Of 2014
It was a good year for girl power.
Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj, "Flawless (Remix)"
Beyoncé's feminist call to arms is even fiercer with a feature from Nicki Minaj. The two women take turns explaining all the ways they stay flawless in the face of constant gossip and hate. You can say what you want, Nicki and Bey know they’re the shit and they want everyone feel the same.
Girl-power lyric: "And you can say what you want / I'm the shit (what you want I'm the shit) / I'm the shit, I'm the shit, I'm the shit / I want everyone to feel like this."
Big Machine Records