To even call this a slide seems dishonest, but hey: Kelly Shoppach got the first steal of his career!
During today's Boston Red Sox — Tampa Bay Rays game, Sox catcher Kelly Shoppach pulled off a truly bizarre, deranged slide. It sort of comes in three acts, each with its own narrative arc; remarkably ends with Shoppach safe on base; and is unlike anything you've ever seen before.
Deadspin has video of the "slide," but we've broken down the tape frame-by-frame to analyze the critical moments.
Act I: Preparing For War
"Hey! Hey guys! I'm trying to steal a base!
Shit... there it is. It's coming up really fast. What do I do?"
Here's the first hint of Shoppach's attempt at a slide; right leg forward, he leans back and looks ready to go. But as you can see, there's no base in sight, and Shoppach seems to realize this.
So, instead of sliding like a normal person — one leg out, the other tucked close to the body — he just collapses like a sack of bagels.