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If Disney Princesses Were Florida Headlines

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Florida: the most magical place on earth. All inspired by wonderfully true Florida headlines.

Sleeping Beauty

Once upon a time, a princess named Aurora got some dust in her eye and went to use some eye drops. Unfortunately, she grabbed the glue instead and accidentally glued her eyes shut.

She remained like that for 100 years until a doctor was able to take the glue off.

Sleeping Beauty

Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed

Snow White

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Snow White and she lived in the woods with her seven much smaller best friends. One night, they threw a party and Snow, drunkenly looking for a toilet, called the police for some help. They were not super happy about this and took her off to prison.

There, she met a wicked witch who told her of his evil plans to lift the ban on "Dwarf Tossing". After she got out of prison, Snow took that man to court to make sure he could not continue his blatant disrespect of people smaller than him.

Snow White

Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed

Ariel

Once upon a time, a young girl was out boating when she was suddenly attacked by an airborne fish. She was knocked unconscious and had a dream that the fish ws her friend named Flounder. When she finally awoke, her voice was hoarse and her legs were weak. She never ate fish again.

Ariel

Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed

Jasmine

A princess kept in captivity fell in love with a chicken nugget thief with a herpes infected monkey known for terrorizing the great state of Florida.

Jasmine

Charlotte Gomez for BuzzFeed


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