These are the only men that have ever existed.
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1. The type of guy who constantly asks you if you're cold, and says things like "I will always keep you warm" with a faraway look that makes you think he doesn't actually care if you're cold.
2. The type of guy who will never commit to a plan with you but will text you at 1am with a vague "Where are you ;)?"
3. The type of guy who holds open doors for you and then feels hurt when you don't look into his eyes lovingly afterwards.
4. The type of guy who has built an entire personality around his opinions about coffee.
5. The type of guy who's surprised when a woman orders an ale, and so asks her opinions of the 2004 batch of "Old Man's Nails" from a microbrewery in Walthamstow.
6. The type of guy who reads in public places and holds up the book so that everyone passing by will take note of his love for difficult literature.
7. The type of guy who calls himself metrosexual because he moisturises.
8. The type of guy who gets on really, really well with your mum, so you keep dating him longer than you probably should, cause you know your mum would be heartbroken if you split up.
9. The type of guy with a twinkle in his eye.
10. The type of guy who doesn't change his sheets often, but they're a certain shade of navy blue so you can never really tell how dirty they are.
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11. The type of guy who asks if you're on a diet when you order a salad.
12. The type of guy who visited Thailand once and has worn thin white linen shirts ever since.
13. The type of guy who talks about movies a lot and then says "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FILM, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED!" when you haven't seen a film.
14. The type of guy who says "you don't need to show off to me" when you mention something you did well today, as if you were saying it to try and impress him, instead of just talking about your fucking life.
15. The type of guy who rides a £1,000 road bike for his 25-minute commute to work.
16. The type of guy who wears Lycra leggings on his 25-minute cycle to work.
17. The type of guy who says "I don't really watch TV."
18. The type of guy with a puka shell necklace.
19. The type of guy who wants to order for you.
20. The type of guy who spends his whole weekend rock climbing and would love if you came with him some time so he could show you the ropes.
21. The type of guy who is so French it's unbelievable.
22. The type of guy with a really fluffy, friendly cat.
23. The type of guy who shows you pictures of his fluffy, friendly cat.
24. The type of guy who shows you pictures of his fluffy, friendly cat, who you marry in the spring.