Hey everybody. Uncle Joe here again. People may not know this, but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Why? Because cranberry looks like blood jello. How cool is that.
Hot Dogs
There only a few things better than hot dogs. The first time you see a naked woman. The sound of Eagles playing the opening chords of "Hotel California." The first season of "Two And A Half Men." Other than that? Nothing. The GOP just made Pizza a vegetable? Psh... I've been pushing to make vegetables hot dogs for a long time. And that's way more impressive.
Those TV Shows You Like
I love to watch fun shows like "The Community" and "Parks And Recreation Department." If we were to get re-elected, I could see what we could do about keeping both shows around for a long time. People don't realize that my full title is Vice President Of Programming Of The United States. The whole thing was too long for my business cards or the crest, so they abbreviated it. But Arrested Development's coming back... Who do you think did that?
Barry Obama
B-Ho, aka Barracking The Suburbsama, aka Sir. He's a smart, funny, awesome dude. Secretly a great karaoke singer. His go-to song is "Tom Sawyer" by Rush. It's a Cirque du Soleil level spectacle. He's a showoff who brings acrobats to karaoke is what I'm saying. But he's my boss and he'll probably read this, so I have to be nice. Just kidding about that last part Barry!
John Boehner
I am thankful that the leader of our opposition is so out of touch with the American people. I am thankful that the opposition's leader gleefully cow tows to the rich, while simultaneously blocking any attempts we make to improve life for the middle class...
Just kidding. I'm thankful that his name looks like a stiffy. Obviously.
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