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55 Things That Happen On Every "Real Housewives" Episode

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Watch what happens.

Bravo / Via realitytvgifs

Bravo / Via realitytvgifs

1. A housewife throws a dinner party.
2. Another housewife is nervous about attending the dinner party because of tension among the group.
3. The host insists that everything will be fine.
4. Instead, everyone gets smashed and an embarrassingly loud fight erupts.
5. A housewife says something so nonsensical and convoluted that it's almost brilliant in a Dadaist way.
6. A housewife downs a glass of wine that's slightly larger than her head.
7. Someone storms off.
8. Someone is dead to someone else.
9. Someone is so completely done.
10. Someone has had enough of the drama.
11. Everyone slurs.
12. A househusband foolishly tries to mediate, making things worse.
13. The host insists she thought things were going to be different this time.


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How Much Do You Know About Flying?

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Test your airplane knowledge! Culled from Kate Ascher’s new book, The Way We Go: Moving By Sea, Land, and Air .

Think of lift this way: Pretend your hand is a wing, and you stick it outside a moving car. As air that was unmoving is now pushed down and behind your hand, the void is filled with air from above your hand, where pressure is now lower. Lift is the difference of pressure between the two sides of your hand.


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Captain Of South Korean Ferry Videotaped Abandoning Ship Before His Passengers

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Video released on Monday by the South Korean Coast Guard shows what appears to be 69-year-old Captain Lee Joon-seok abandoning the sinking ferry before other passengers.

The captain of the South Korean ferry that sank and killed more than 180 people was videotaped abandoning the ship ahead of trapped passengers.

The captain of the South Korean ferry that sank and killed more than 180 people was videotaped abandoning the ship ahead of trapped passengers.

koreatimes.co.kr

The video was released on Monday by the South Korean Coast Guard and shows Captain Lee Joon-seok being rescued by boat before other passengers.

South Korea Coast Guard / vine.co

Lee Joon-seok was later arrested on suspicion of negligence and abandoning people. Three other crew members were also arrested.

Lee Joon-seok was later arrested on suspicion of negligence and abandoning people. Three other crew members were also arrested.

AP / Yonhap

Watch an extended version of the video via Washington Post.


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The 32 Most Unexplainable Images On The Internet

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Considering that it’s the internet, that’s saying a lot.

Possible explanation: Man unknowingly imprints onto baby cacti, causing them to recognize him as their mother.

Possible explanation: Man unknowingly imprints onto baby cacti, causing them to recognize him as their mother.

Via gomzo.com

Possible explanation: Dog seeks solace at the bottom of a glass after wife leaves him.

Possible explanation: Dog seeks solace at the bottom of a glass after wife leaves him.

Via imgur.com

Possible explanation: Worst super villain ever.

Possible explanation: Worst super villain ever.

Via imgur.com

Possible explanation: Dog’s anus magically able to reveal what future offspring will look like.

Possible explanation: Dog’s anus magically able to reveal what future offspring will look like.

Via imgur.com


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How To Make A Candle That Will Make All Your Dreams Come True

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Or that will at least be really pretty and nice!

instagram.com

Early-ish last Saturday morning I walked to Enchantments, New York's oldest witchcraft supply store, and probably the best store I've ever been to, witchcraft supply or not.

The shop offers a few classes and events per month, and I'd signed up for one called "Introduction to Candle Magick," which I was drawn to because I love a good candle and I love when magic is spelled with a k on the end. MagicK, a version of a word that looks like it should be pronounced differently but isn't, like when "shown" is spelled "shewn" in Jane Austen novels. These are a few of my favorite things!

Maybe you, too, have a soft spot for old-timey spelling, or maybe you have some money- or love-related problems (or both, am I right), or maybe you think it would feel nice to hack away at a wax candle with a knife for a while. Here is how to make your whole life better by carving pretty designs into a candle and coating it in glitter.

Pick a color.

Pick a color.

What To Do: You can buy special-made candles (ideal for carving) from the Enchantments online store, but many other varieties will work. Cat, our teacher, suggested using tea lights. You can use the chart above to help pick a color.

Our class is led by a young woman named Cat who has worked in the store for eight years. She asks each of us to describe, in front of the class, our "intentions," or what we want our candles to address. This is mildly embarrassing. For my purposes (which are a secret!!!!!), Cat gives me a large white candle (said to remove obstacles and negativity) and a small yellow candle, which she calls a "solar burst." The idea is that I'll burn the white one first, to "uncross" or cleanse myself, and then I'll burn the yellow, to inspire confidence, success, and, my favorite, generalized "glory."

Cat tells me that my intentions make her think of Jennifer Lopez. "She's an example of someone who worked so hard and got what she wanted," she says. These candles are going to help me become like Jennifer Lopez, which is something I hadn't even realized I wanted.

I am mildly disappointed I am not given a black candle, because I would have probably liked to banish someone. But Cat makes it clear that using candle magick for evil purposes is discouraged, and also a bad idea in terms of karma.

Pick a seal.

Pick a seal.

What To Do: You can find a number of intricate seals designed for candle magick purposes in The Enchanted Candle by Lady Rhea. You can also use simpler, intuitive symbols: a heart for love, a dollar sign for money, an eye for clarity, etc. Cat recommends sealing the top of your candle with a pentagram for protection, and adding your name somewhere on the side.

Once we all have our candles, Cat draws our designated seals on a white board at the front of the room. They're fairly elaborate, and it's hard to etch into something round and waxy, but Cat says artistic outcome matters much less than intent.

I am determined to make my candles the most perfectly sealed candles that have ever been made by anyone.

goodreads.com


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13 Texts You Send All The Time Vs. What They Actually Mean

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Let’s be real: You’re never actually “five minutes away.”

The drunk text:

The drunk text:

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed

The lazy text:

The lazy text:

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed

The "busy" text:

The "busy" text:

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed

The smelly sink text:

The smelly sink text:

Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed


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JP Morgan Chase Has Started Closing Down Porn Stars’ Bank Accounts

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Hundreds of adult performers are believed to have been affected.

JP Morgan Chase has reportedly started closing down bank accounts belonging to hundreds of porn stars.

JP Morgan Chase has reportedly started closing down bank accounts belonging to hundreds of porn stars.

Spencer Platt / Getty


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21 Ducklings To Fill Your Cuteness Quota


How Basic Is Your Baby?

26 Epic Feats Of Manscaping

This Picture Of Tom Fletcher's Son Smiling For The First Time Will Make Your Ovaries Explode

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LOOK at that wink.

Believe it or not, Buzz Fletcher, the baby from the viral time lapse pregnancy video, is now six weeks old.

Believe it or not, Buzz Fletcher, the baby from the viral time lapse pregnancy video , is now six weeks old.

onscreenkisses.tumblr.com

This means he's just starting to smile - and Giovanna has managed to capture the cutest moment ever.

This means he's just starting to smile - and Giovanna has managed to capture the cutest moment ever.

Twitter: @mrsgifletcher

Let's get a close up of his little winking face, shall we?

Let's get a close up of his little winking face, shall we?

SO. CUTE.

It's not the first adorable photo the pair have shared of Buzz, though. Just look at this one of him looking all curious.

instagram.com / Via instagram.com


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8 Marvel Movies And Their Super Cute Codenames

This Old Man's Two-Step Will Make Your Day Complete

7 Quick Dinners To Make This Week

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There are a lot of lame recipes on the internet. These are not them. See more weeknight recipes here .

Romulo Yanes / Via gourmet.com

Skirt Steak Salad with Arugula and Blue Cheese

Skirt Steak Salad with Arugula and Blue Cheese

You can cook the steak in a skillet OR on a grill; the only other part that requires work is the dressing, which is just Dijon + vinegar + Worcestershire sauce + honey + olive oil + salt. And if the dressing is only vinegar + olive oil + salt, that's fine too. Get the recipe

Deb Perelman / Via smittenkitchen.com

Open-Face Monte Cristos

Open-Face Monte Cristos

In this genius recipe from Food & Wine's Kay Chun, you'll first pan-fry a slice of ham in butter. Then take out the ham, pan-fry some toast that's been dipped in egg and milk, flip the toast, top it with cheese and the ham, and cover the pan so the cheese melts. Add basil. Ascend to heaven. Get the recipe.

Christina Holmes / Via foodandwine.com

Edamame and Toasted Coconut in Avocado

Edamame and Toasted Coconut in Avocado

OK — YES it's light for a dinner, but there's toast. And sometimes, if you're me, you ate lunch at 4 p.m. and so you want something light for dinner. Get the recipe.

Joy Wilson / Via joythebaker.com


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33 Ways Manhattan's East Village Has Changed In Only 7 Years

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For better or for worse.

Using Google's awesome new time travel tool, here's what gentrification looks like.

Astor Place: September 2007

Astor Place: September 2007

Astor Place: September 2013

Astor Place: September 2013

10th Street between Avenue C and D: September 2007

10th Street between Avenue C and D: September 2007

A garage.


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62 Thoughts You Have When You Hate Your Birthday

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AKA the longest 24 hours of your life.

One week before:

One week before:

1. Oh god, my birthday is coming up.
2. I hope no one notices.
3. Wait, how old am I?
4. Whoa, that's kind of old.
5. I think.
6. Does that mean anything?
7. Does anything mean anything?
8. No, no.
9. Time is just a social construct.
10. Ugh. This shit again.
11. Every damn year.

Flickr: garrettc

Three days before:

Three days before:

12. Here comes the planning.
13. "No, I'm sure I don't really wanna do anything."
14. "Seriously."
15. "Yeah, I will enjoy my birthday. I promise."
16. "Staying home and eating ice cream alone is enjoyable."
17. "Yes, it is."
18. Ugh.
19. "Yeah, I get you wouldn't want a low-key birthday."
20. But this isn't your birthday...
21. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME TREAT MY BIRTHDAY LIKE YOU TREAT YOURS
22. "Yeah, I'll let you know if I change my mind."
23. Slams head on desk

Flickr: infidelic

The day before:

The day before:

24. Ugh.
25. Okay, what's my game plan for tomorrow?
26. I'm gonna have to figure out how to keep a low profile.
27. Double checks birthday is hidden on Facebook
28. Takes a mental survey of how many people know it's your birthday.
29. Takes a mental survey of how many of those people will wish you a happy birthday on social media.
30. Shudders
31. I should turn off my phone before midnight.

Flickr: hfiguiere

On your birthday:

On your birthday:

32. Deep sigh
33. Here we go...
34. I don't feel any different.
35. Of course I don't feel any different.
36. The social conditioning behind birthdays is just such bullshit.
37. I didn't even do anything to earn attention.
38. Shouldn't today be about my mom?
39. She's the one who remembers the day?
40. Oh good, my first "happy birthday!"
41. "Thanks."
42. Ahhhhhhhh.
43. Nervous breakdown.
44. Second "happy birthday!"
45. "OMG. It's your birthday?"
46. "Why didn't you say anything?"
47. Sigh.
48. It's nice to have people who care about me.
49. I appreciate the attention.
50. I just don't really want it.
51. Especially not all day.

Flickr: freakgirl


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Selena Gomez And Orlando Bloom Hung Out This Weekend

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Or at least they were going to hang out before the paparazzi ruined the moment.

The two were spotted sitting on a street curb after Chelsea Handler's show in L.A.

The two were spotted sitting on a street curb after Chelsea Handler's show in L.A.

Maybe they're old friends!

AKM-GSI

AKM-GSI


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5 Fantastic Documentaries From The Tribeca Film Festival That You'll Want To See

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This year’s Tribeca Film Festival was home to the premieres of some terrific docs on gorilla warfare, a professional skeptic, and an American who fought in an Arab revolution. Watch out for these films.

Art and Craft

Art and Craft

Stoop-shouldered and powdery-voiced, Mark Landis, the subject of Art and Craft, is a genuine eccentric, a gifted forger who's fooled countless art museum professionals. What saves him from maliciousness is that he makes no money off of this — he donates the works he's made, posing as a philanthropist (and once, a priest), speaking of late relatives who wanted these pieces in good hands and hinting at generations of wealth. Delicate and with a childlike air, Landis turns out to have a history of mental illness, and what at first seems like uncontrollable trickery later starts to seem like a way of reaching out from the midst of a lonely existence. Even Landis' nemesis, a Cincinnati-based registrar with his own compulsions named Matthew Leininger, develops an odd fondness for the man he's been trying to stop for years.

The title of the film, which was directed by Sam Cullman and Jennifer Grausman, isn't accidental — Landis creates his forgeries with hobby store materials off of catalogue prints, explaining to the camera how he stains things with instant coffee and admitting to only guessing at how the actual work was painted. He looks at what he does as crafting, but as the doc, which falls somewhere between Catch Me If You Can and Grey Gardens, makes wonderfully clear, what's art — outsider or otherwise — is all a question of context.

Where can you see it? Art and Craft has been acquired by Oscilloscope Laboratories, which is planning to release the film in theaters in late summer/early fall.

Sam Cullman/Oscilloscope Laboratories

Ballet 422

Ballet 422

Twenty-six-year-old Justin Peck is a dancer at the New York City Ballet, and he's also a choreographer, a singular position to be in that makes him both a creator and a piece of someone else's vision. Directed by cinematographer and filmmaker Jody Lee Lipes (who's helmed several episodes of Girls), Ballet 422 follows Peck as he choreographs a new ballet called Paz de la Jolla. There are no interviews in the film, which takes an entirely observational approach, following Peck through the process of creating a dance, from the steps to the costuming and lighting.

It's a look at a creative process that's intriguing even if you have no special interest in dance, because it emphasizes how ephemeral a medium it is. Paintings you can go see at museums, movies you can buy on DVD, but dance exists in the moment, its main elements the bodies of its performers as they move to the music. Nothing manages to capture it — the scrawled notation for the choreography on the page, the videos Peck makes and then watches, the inexact language he uses when talking to the dancers ("It’s not crispy enough"). Dance may be fleeting, but Ballet 422 shows that the process is anything but impulsive. It's an exact, impressive art.

Where can you see it? Ballet 422 doesn't have distribution yet.

Jody Lee Lipes/Ballet 422

An Honest Liar

An Honest Liar

Tyler Measom and Justin Weinstein's An Honest Liar is a portrait of James Randi, the Canadian-born magician and escape artist who performed under the name The Amazing Randi, and who's become better known in recent decades as a debunker of claims of supernatural, paranormal, and religious powers. Most famously, he battled Uri Geller on various talk shows in the '70s, showing that everything the self-proclaimed psychic did could be replicated with stage magic. He also helped expose televangelist and faith healer Peter Popoff in the '80s.

An Honest Liar details both of these incidents and more, but it also pairs Randi's insistence in exposing the truth with secrecy and deception in his own life. "It's OK to fool people as long as you're doing that to teach them a lesson which will better their knowledge of how the real world works. No matter how smart or well-educated you are, you can be fooled," he says when the film opens, but as it goes on, what emerges is how little people want to be shown that they've been misled. There's a deep-rooted desire to believe in something beyond the norm that leads to Randi, who comes across as a wise-cracking but crusty grandpa, being treated as a killjoy or someone who exposes others as suckers. The path of the professional skeptic is a tough one.

Where can you see it? An Honest Liar doesn't have a distributor yet, but is screening on the festival circuit. You can also donate to receive the film on DVD later this year.

James Randi

Point and Shoot

Point and Shoot

Like Grizzly Man, Point and Shoot was primarily shot by its subject, Matthew VanDyke, a quiet, blue-eyed Baltimore man who ended up fighting as a revolutionary in the Libyan civil war. Unlike Timothy Treadwell, VanDyke is still alive and kicking and able to tell his story to director Marshall Curry (Street Fight), though he's had plenty of close calls. VanDyke was an introverted kid who developed a desire for adventure through video games, Lawrence of Arabia, and the travel docs of Australian filmmaker Alby Mangels. Eventually, he set off on what he called a "crash course in manhood" that began with buying a motorcycle, led to his driving through Africa into the Middle East, becoming a freelance war correspondent, and befriending a Libyan man named Nouri, filming along the way. When war broke out, he returned to Libya to fight alongside Nouri and his companions and endured a stint in prison there made all the more harsh by his OCD.

VanDyke's story is one of a normal guy willing himself into someone larger-that-life (at one point he even tries to go by the new name of "Max Hunter"), but as he points out, that's true for everyone. The American soldiers he met wanted to be filmed kicking down doors, while the rebels learned many of their ideas about warfare from movies and TV, standing on a truck blasting a machine gun. Half the people on screen are shown holding up their camera phones along with their weapons. It's a film that raises fascinating questions about the idea of performance, toughness, and belonging.

Where can you see it? Point and Shoot doesn't have distribution yet.

Nouri Fonas/Point and Shoot


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58 Extremely Disappointing Facts About The Class Of 2018

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This is HEARTBREAKING.

In a few short weeks, kids all over the country will be graduating high school as the class of 2014. Let's take a look at the incoming freshman class, the class of 2018. Here's how their experience will be different than yours...

In a few short weeks, kids all over the country will be graduating high school as the class of 2014. Let's take a look at the incoming freshman class, the class of 2018. Here's how their experience will be different than yours...

Via betabeat.com

1. First off, they were born in 2000 or 2001 and they're graduating in 2018. They're the class of 2018.
2. They've never lived in a world with monthly texting limits.
3. The lyric "shake it like a Polaroid picture" has no meaning to them.
4. They never knew a Destiny's Child with four members. They probably don't know Destiny's Child at all.
5. The Motorola Razr is a museum artifact:

6. Star Wars has never been a trilogy.
7. Eminem could without a doubt be their dad.
8. Or, you know, one of the dudes from Hanson could be their dad.
9. If you say, "You sound like a broken record," chances are they won't understand you.
10. This sound has no meaning:


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What It's Like To Be A Woman At Night

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“It sounds really simple and easy but that’s just not the case.”

Many people take something as simple as walking alone at night for granted. But many women just don't have that option.

youtube.com

Because no matter where they live, or how strong they are, the fact remains: The world is a dangerous place.

Because no matter where they live, or how strong they are, the fact remains: The world is a dangerous place.

youtube.com

And the fear of what could happen can very easily become overwhelming.

And the fear of what could happen can very easily become overwhelming.

youtube.com

Women find different ways to deal with that fear.

Women find different ways to deal with that fear.

youtube.com


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