Again. UPDATE: As of 4:12 pm on 9/23/2014 the jacket has been removed from the Kohl’s website.
“I’ve never seen you before in my life, but I love you now.”
iStock / Matt Bellassai / BuzzFeed
1. Oh.
2. Oh no.
3. Oh my god.
4. OK. It's happening. This is happening. This is really happening.
5. I know it's 8 a.m., and I'm on a crowded train with 500 sweaty, disgusting monsters, but he's like the hottest person I've ever seen in my entire life.
6. I know I say this about a different person every morning, but I really mean it this time. He is the hottest person I have ever seen out in the real world. This is it. He's the one.
7. Why have we never met before? Why have I been living my life surrounded by scum when this perfect specimen was out there waiting for me to find him?
8. Fuck. His clothes really fit. Like. Those pants just really fit. I bet he picked them out himself. I bet he even tried them on in the store before he bought them like a normal person because he has his life so together.
9. Oh god. Oh god, his shirt looks really good, too. I bet he ironed it. I bet he totally ironed it. He probably spent like 45 minutes this morning planning out his outfit and making sure he looked really good. Not in a weird, vain, into-himself way, just an I-wanna-look-nice-for-everybody way. God. He is so thoughtful.
10. Are those… oh no. Those are biceps. I can see his biceps. I bet he went to the gym this morning. I bet he woke up early and everything. Ugh. I probably have cream cheese on my face and he just got out of the gym. And then he put on those pants.
11. I bet he got up early and made himself coffee in his fancy french press and peeled an orange and a little bit of the orange juice squirted onto his face and he wiped it off and then smirked to himself and then he ate it and then drank his french press coffee and then went to the gym. Fuck.
12. Ugh. He has great skin. I bet he moisturizes like crazy. He probably just moisturized. He probably showered at the gym and then fixed his hair and then shaved and then moisturized.
13. I wonder what kind of underwear he's wearing.
14. Oh god. He's smiling. He's smiling to himself. ALERT. WE HAVE A SMILE. HE'S CAPABLE OF EMOTION. OH GOD.
15. I bet he just thought of a joke. I bet he's so funny. I bet all his friends think he's the funniest guy in their group. I bet he smiles at his office and everybody already starts laughing cause they know he's about to tell a really great story.
16. Fuck. His teeth are so good. I bet he flosses after every meal. I bet he doesn't even bleed at the dentist. I bet his dentist is like, "You have the best teeth I have ever seen in my 35 years as a professional dentist." And then the dentists asks him for tips on how to get his teeth to look better.
17. I bet he hugs his dentist goodbye. I bet he hugs everybody goodbye.
18. I bet he gives great hugs. Warm, hugs where his arms really cling to you, and then he pats the perfect number of times.
19. His breath probably smells so good, too.
20. His entire body probably smells good.
21. His pillows probably smell great.
22. Maybe if I get close enough, I can smell him.
23. Nope. No. He saw me. He saw me shift and he probably saw some of the cream cheese on my face.
24. Ugh. He is so cute, though.
25. I bet he calls his mom all the time. Not like a creepy number of times, but like, the perfect amount of times a guy should call his mom. I bet she has a cute nickname for him, too.
26. She would like me. She would have a cute nickname for me, too.
27. She'll help us plan the wedding, obviously. I'll just have to make it clear from the beginning that I'm not interested in her running everything. We'll split the planning evenly. Or mostly evenly. She can pick the side dishes we'll eat at the reception.
28. Oh god, I bet he looks so great in a suit. I bet he looks perfect in a little bow tie.
29. His tailor is the luckiest person alive. His tailor probably goes home at night and writes in his journal about how he got to make a suit for this perfect man.
30. I should be a tailor.
31. Fuck. He moves his lips while he reads. Oh god. It's so cute that he does that. I bet he'll read to our children. I bet he'll read to them every night and do the voices and everything. And he'll keep reading until the book is finished even after they've fallen asleep. And then he'll kiss them on the cheeks. And I'll just be standing in the doorway, crying to myself, because our life will be so perfect.
32. Oh no. Oh no, he has reading glasses. FUCK, THAT IS ADORABLE. How is he hot AND cute all in one? THIS MAN WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.
33. I bet he's listening to some kind of love ballad on his phone, too. He probably just reads and listens to love ballads every morning on the train, oblivious to his own perfection.
34. I bet he likes dogs. I bet he doesn't have a dog, but really wants a dog, so he acts super cute around every dog he sees in public. I bet he does the thing where he gets down on one knee so he's closer to the dog while he pets it. And he smiles a lot while he does it.
35. He has a nice work bag, too. I bet he works at a fancy office and makes a bunch of money, but not in a pretentious asshole kind of way. He just works really hard and makes a lot of money.
36. I mean, I'd accept him no matter what he does. He could come home one night and tell me he wants to quit his job to pursue his art, and we'll be OK. We'll get through it. I just want what's best for him. And I'd pet his beautiful hair and caress his cheek and he would look at me with his beautiful eyes and wouldn't even say anything and we'd each just understand one another.
37. Fuck. The way he stands is so hot. It's like he's leaning against a tree in the middle of a forest on a cold, crisp morning, just leaning there, holding his coffee in a flannel shirt and his underwear.
38. Except he's not in a forest. He's surrounded by all these garbage people on the train. And he still looks so hot.
39. I bet he only has sisters and he's really nice to all of them and buys them presents for no reason and so they always get excited when they see him because he probably has presents.
40. I bet he can sing. Not, like, professionally. But he's probably just naturally good at singing and we'd go to karaoke and he would just kill it and then we would duet and then he'd give me flowers afterwards, cause he just sometimes brings flowers to karaoke.
41. Oh, god. He's the one. He's definitely the one. We haven't even spoken yet and I just know.
42. I don't wanna go up to him cause he'll probably be scared by right we are we for one another. Gotta take it slow.
43. Oh no. OH NO. HE'S MOVING. HE'S GETTING OFF THE TRAIN. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE LIFE WE HAD PLANNED TOGETHER IS SLIPPING AWAY.
44. Goodbye, my love. Goodbye, wedding we planned with your mother. Goodbye, three-week European honeymoon. Goodbye, children we read books to at night. Goodbye, laughter. Goodbye, bulging biceps. Goodbye, perfect, inspiring teeth. Goodbye, my sweet cupcake.
45. Hello, guy who was standing behind him this whole time. Where have you been all my life?
The Newsroom star plays a New Yorker concerned his online girlfriend is not what she appears to be in this trailer, exclusive to BuzzFeed.
Kate Lyn Sheil in The Heart Machine
Filmbuff
John Gallagher Jr. is having a moment. The Broadway actor turned Newsroom star can soon be seen in the third and final season of the Aaron Sorkin drama, premiering Nov. 9, and he's pulling double duty on HBO by acting alongside Richard Jenkins and Frances McDormand in the mini-series Olive Kitteridge, which will air the week before.
Elsewhere, he and Brie Larson were terrific together in last year's tender group home feature film Short Term 12. And in the new indie The Heart Machine, written and directed by Zachary Wigon and opening in theaters and on VOD Oct. 24, he appears with fellow up-and-comer Kate Lyn Sheil (House of Cards) in a drama about a couple whose online love affair is complicated by secrets.
Gallagher plays Cody, a New Yorker involved in a long-distance relationship with Virginia (Sheil), though the two have never met in person. Virginia claims to live in Berlin, though Cody starts to suspect she may actually be much closer, and begins an investigation into the nature of his digital romance in a mystery about love in our well-connected era.
Filmbuff
They’re back…
Via pinterest.com
Via pinterest.com
If you’re getting laid right now, put your phone down. This can wait a minute.
Thinkstock / BuzzFeed
The mems… cherish them. Especially if you’re not British .
Via memeguy.com
Via lolzbook.com
Via indulgy.com
Via thosewerethe90s.tumblr.com
The start of the fall TV season marks the first real concerted effort by the big four broadcast networks – ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC — to highlight viewers for a show over a full week. The move reflects the shift away from live television viewing for entertainment programming and is aimed at prying more money away from advertisers.
CBS / Via cbs.com
CBS said that viewers for the season premiere of The Big Bang Theory will total around 25 million. NBC said just under 19 million people will watch the second season debut of The Blacklist. ABC said the two-hour premiere of Dancing with the Stars will be watched by 14.1 million people, and Fox said 12.2 million people will watch the series premiere of Gotham.
The key word here is "will," as in that is how many people are expected to watch these shows at some future point as opposed how many actually watched them when they aired live Monday night. Specifically, these ratings are based on the number of expected viewers who will watch these shows in the next week, what is known in industry parlance as "Live +7-day ratings."
The start of the fall TV season this week marks the first real concerted effort by the big four broadcast networks to highlight viewers for a show over a full week. The move, which took root last year when Fox started issuing L7 viewer projections, reflects the shift away from live television viewing for entertainment programming and is aimed at prying more money away from advertisers.
Here is where it gets a bit wonky. There are two aims to this new strategy, even if it looks like one. The first is to show how big the audiences for these shows are — the L7 number — which is certainly important. The other is to get advertisers to pay rates based on the size of a show's total projected audience, which is a somewhat trickier proposition because advertisers are more concerned with who watches the commercials, not the show itself. The figure they are most interested in is what's knowns as C7, a metric that shows how many viewers watched the commercials that air during a show live and within 7 seven days. The networks did not include a C7 projection in their ratings releases. Advertisers currently pay networks on a L3 and C3 projected basis, which accounts for live and delayed viewing on a three-day basis.
Still usually at this time of year the networks are all putting out releases trumpeting their ratings victories and taking jabs at their rivals' failures. And while there is still an element of that, their alignment in pushing L7 ratings in their releases underscores how quickly the rise of on-demand viewership is eroding their business model.
In announcing last week that CBS would move to a L7 ratings reporting system, CEO Les Moonves said the metric "more accurately accounts for how viewers watch our shows and how we get paid for our programming."
Based on L7 projections, for instance, The Big Bang Theory would increase its total audience by 40%, or 7.1 million people, to 24.9 million viewers from 17.8 million, while NBC's The Blacklist would gain 6.3 million total viewers, to 18.8 million from 12.5 million.
Moonves and his fellow network leaders have been advocating strongly over the last year for L7 to be the new standard. Moonves said in last week's announcement that CBS negotiated L7 and C7 deals as part of this year's Upfront negotiations, the annual ritual where TV networks showcase their new shows to advertisers and sell a percentage of their commercial load in advance of premiering them.
The reason L7 has not yet become the standard is because advertisers know that the more TV is watched on a time-shifted basis, the less commercials are being seen. Indeed, according to The New York Times, advertising revenue generated by the networks during this year's upfront fell between 5% and 10% to less than $9 billion. Audience projections can grow ever larger, but if people aren't watching the commercials, advertising revenue will continue to shift to other platforms. Put another way, a given show's audience can grow exponentially over a 50 or 100 day period, but if none of the new viewers are watching the ads, the networks will meet resistance in getting paid more for them.
The networks' L7 push does have an element of tail-chasing to it as well. Consumption is increasingly moving to mobile devices and streaming via Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and other services. Concepts like binge viewing, or watching an entire season of a show in one sitting, and stacking — storing up episodes of a show for a binge — are moving from the fringes to the mainstream.
Maybe that's why Fox has also begun highlighting in its ratings releases a new metric called the "30-Day Multi-Platform Total Audience."
Ratings bar chart for CBS shows
CBS
What is this “full” feeling you speak of?
Mac and Cheese, I want you all day, every day, and knowing that you're somewhere out there keeps me going.
NBC
NBC
BuzzFeed News’ Katie Notopoulos, reporting live from inside a 21-year-old’s iPhone.
Last November in suburban Texas, two high school BFFs, away at separate colleges, texted about boy troubles.
He doesn't Snapchat back he barely returns my text. His #wcw Wednesday was someone from his prom. All of his top 3 in Snapchat are other girls. I just wanted to hangout last night and he said he was tired and I noticed that he posted something on Facebook around midnight.
This is the current state of dating for 21-year-olds in 2014.
I was able to see this exchange because Taylor Prewitt, the 21-year-old recipient of the text, had allowed me to access her phone's iCloud. I used a program called TeenSafe, which is meant for parents to monitor their children's phones and internet activity. I could see all of her text messages from the last few months, all of her deleted texts, her browser history, bookmarks, contact list, her call logs, and her GPS location. Yes, it was all a little creepy.
But that was kind of the point. After several of my BuzzFeed News colleagues refused to let me track them, I tweeted a request for someone, anyone to let me track them. I got two replies, one from Taylor, and one from a guy who retracted as soon as I explained how much I would actually see. ("My girlfriend would kill me").
Snooping on a stranger's phone seemed, frankly, thrilling. What fascinating secrets might I learn? For years now, phones have been near-complete gateways into our personal and professional lives. What story could I piece together about their life based just on a text message trail? Would I actually be able to "know" a person just from their phone?
All you basic commoners, step off.
She just KNOWS.
Two new Mary J. Blige songs hit the internet this week; "Therapy," co-written by Sam Smith, and "Whole Damn Year," produced by Naughty Boy.
Her album, The London Sessions, isn't out until Nov. 24, but the tracks point to a new creative process that seems to have recharged Blige's sound.
The music is more stripped-down than recent releases from Blige — some even feature live jazz-style instrumentation or doo wop harmonizing. Overall, she goes more for emotion than the raw energy that she's known for, because part of being a queen is knowing how to harness your power.
Via Capitol Records
"Whole Damn Year" describes how it took an entire year to bounce back from heartbreak after a longterm relationship hit the rails, as she sings: "It took a whole damn year to repair my body / It took a whole damn year / It took a whole damn year to repair my body / It's been a bad five years."
And here's more 16 times Mary knew what you felt when you felt all the feels.
Def Jam / Via share.gifyoutube.com
Mary got tired of being "your lover and your secretary / Working every day of the week," and left his self-absorbed ass behind. An anthem for women who've overextended themselves in relationships and gotten little in return.
Arista Records / Via media.giphy.com
This is exactly what you think it is. A bunch of grumpy pugs.
Harry, is that you???
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
BJJ/Vasquez/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES BJJ/Vasquez/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
More than makes up for that panda no longer being pregnant.
Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, Edinburgh Zoo
Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, Edinburgh Zoo
Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, Edinburgh Zoo
Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, Edinburgh Zoo
You might know which books have caused trouble, but do you know WHY? (Based on American Library Association information, found here .)
1. Olivia Pope
Julien M. Hekimian / ABC / Via Facebook: ScandalABC
Craig Sjodin / ABC / Via Facebook: ScandalABC
Craig Sjodin / ABC / Via Facebook: ScandalABC
ABC / Via Facebook: ScandalABC
Because we all get old.
Well, internet, it’s been a good run. Time to pack it up.
The people buying vinyl grew up with Spotify, Pandora, and Napster.
Urban Outfitters in Westwood, Los Angeles.
Urban Outfitters Blog / Via blog.urbanoutfitters.com
Here's a shift for the music industry: Urban Outfitters is now the world's biggest seller of vinyl records.
"Music is very, very important to the Urban customer... in fact, we are the world's number one vinyl seller," Calvin Hollinger, the company's chief administrative officer, said at a meeting with analysts yesterday. He explained that instead of having thousands of vinyl albums online, the company has a system in place that lets it seamlessly offer inventory from roughly 100 vendors without actually owning that inventory, a model it might use with Anthropologie's home goods.
Vinyl records have been a rare and unusual bright spot for the music industry in recent years, as noted in the chart below, starting with the launch of Record Store Day in 2007. Sales of vinyl LPs rose to 6.1 million albums last year, the highest since at least 1991, according to Nielsen SoundScan, and sales this year are on track to beat that. Just in June, Jack White set a vinyl sales record with his album Lazaretto.
It's notable that Urban Outfitters, a chain that's worried it's gotten too young for its 18- to 28-year-old customers in the past year, is such a big seller of an old technology. The people buying vinyl, it turns out, are those who grew up with the ability to download music or stream it on Pandora and Spotify. (Target and Whole Foods have also tried to get into the business.)
Urban, which was most recently in the news for offending the nation by selling what appeared to be a bloodied Kent State sweatshirt, reiterated it's trying to "course correct" to college-aged customers after drifting into high school territory.
Statista / Via statista.com
