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This NSA Twitter Parody Account Is Both Hilarious And Upsetting

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In response to the Office of the Director of National Intelligence’s Twitter feed comes @ICofftheRecord . Because sometimes it’s better to laugh than to cry.

Via Twitter: @ICofftheRecord

When the U.S. Office of the Director of National Intelligence launched its Tumblr account and accompanying Twitter feed two days ago, it was a little hard to believe that transparency initiative would truly shed light on the inner workings of the country's spy programs. As with many of the recent National Security Agency developments, an online parody was born. And it's pretty good, if not a bit unsettling.

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17 Essential Kris Jenner GIFs For Your Reaction GIF Folder

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Agrees To Resign Amid Sexual Harassment Scandal

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Filner’s resignation is effective Aug. 30, announced the San Diego City Attorney Jan Goldsmith.

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner speaks during a news conference at city hall Friday, July 26, 2013, in San Diego.

Gregory Bull / AP

Over the past month more than a dozen women, including veterans and other prominent women, have come forward with sexual harassment allegations against the 70-year-old mayor. The mayor was urged to resign by all nine members of the City Council.

He decided instead to enter a two-week intensive therapy program, and when Filner left early he claimed he was cured of a sex addiction.

Democratic City Council President Todd Gloria will become acting mayor until a special election is held within 90 days after the resignation takes effect.

Via hosted.ap.org


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More First World Problems, Tech Edition

23 Moments Theater-Lovers (And Performers) Know All Too Well

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Obviously there’s “I can’t, I have rehearsal,” but what other theater moments have we all endured as stewards of the Broad-way?

That feeling when Aaron Tveit smiles.

That feeling when Aaron Tveit smiles.

When no one in the room follows your RENT references.

When no one in the room follows your RENT references.

When someone only knows Liza Minnelli as Lucille 2.

When someone only knows Liza Minnelli as Lucille 2.

I know, it sounds crazy, BUT IT'S HAPPENED TO ME.

When you need to pause your DVR recording to just applaud Andrew Rannells' seamless transition into TV.

When you need to pause your DVR recording to just applaud Andrew Rannells' seamless transition into TV.

Obviously we all miss him on Bway, but you have to admit that was a flawless career move.


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25 Retro Robots That Will Kill Us All

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Were all these robots destroyed? Or are they sitting in a warehouse somewhere, waiting for a signal?

From 1868. This is what started what will be the downfall of humans. “Zadoc P. Dederick, along with Isaac Grass, was the creator of a steam-powered humanlike robot designed to pull a cart.”

From 1868. This is what started what will be the downfall of humans. “Zadoc P. Dederick, along with Isaac Grass, was the creator of a steam-powered humanlike robot designed to pull a cart.”

Via retronaut.com

From 1910, the first ever robot was a German. Look at that face.

From 1910, the first ever robot was a German. Look at that face.

Via blog.modernmechanix.com

From 1929. Its name is "Eric." That RUR is not sinister at all.

From 1929. Its name is "Eric." That RUR is not sinister at all.

Via blog.modernmechanix.com

From 1929. Another fucking "Eric" also from London.

From 1929. Another fucking "Eric" also from London.

Via blog.modernmechanix.com


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Androids, Electric Ladies, And Labels: Janelle Monáe's Thoughts On Sexuality

15 Totally Legit Gripes You Have With Your Local Coffee House


The 8 Most Hilarious Steve Ballmer Moments of All Time

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Steve B is retiring as CEO from Microsoft in a year, so let’s look at some of his biggest hits. What, were you expecting something about their business?

Steve Ballmer loves to get crazy on stage. Here's his most famous.


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Japan's Friendliest Super Hero Just Wants To Help You Carry Your Groceries

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If you use a certain subway station in Tokyo, you might be met by a masked and costumed super hero. But he’s not there to fight villainous crime-lords; he just wants to help you carry stuff down the stairs.

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The Story Behind This "Doctor Who" Scene Will Make You Tear Up

A Reminder That People Had To Learn How To Dial A Phone

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OK, for the last time: So, you get the phone number…

Once upon a time (the 1950s), this new fangled thing called "the telephone" was messing up everyones' lives. So AT&T made this PSA to give your grandparents the 411. What is wrong with all you annoying people dialing wrong numbers GODDD.

Once upon a time (the 1950s), this new fangled thing called "the telephone" was messing up everyones' lives. So AT&T made this PSA to give your grandparents the 411. What is wrong with all you annoying people dialing wrong numbers GODDD.

Seriously, it's a real problem. So make sure you write down the number. Write that number down good.

Seriously, it's a real problem. So make sure you write down the number. Write that number down good.

Then dial your number on your impossibly large rotary phone and then wait for like an hour for them to pick up. Remember: If they're slow to the phone or don't pick up, it doesn't mean they hate you! (They might hate you.)

Then dial your number on your impossibly large rotary phone and then wait for like an hour for them to pick up. Remember: If they're slow to the phone or don't pick up, it doesn't mean they hate you! (They might hate you.)

Check out the full instructional video here. You may learn a thing or two. About how this never happens now.


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How To Make Incredible Edible Animals

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Enjoy the flesh of beasts! Without some of the guilt.

The Inner Turmoils Of Having Celiac Disease

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What it feels like when gluten becomes the enemy.

So you have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease....

... Maybe it came as a surprise to you.

So you have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease....

blogger.com / Via peteywonder-foodforthought.blogspot.com

Or perhaps it came as a sigh of relief after feeling like this...

tumblr.com / Via mygifdump.tumblr.com

Initially you may feel positive

after all..how bad could it be??

Initially you may feel positive

tumblr.com / Via goofygifs.com

But eventually your positivity wears down

Because avoiding gluten isn't as easy as you thought

But eventually your positivity wears down

tumblr.com


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Did Richard Nixon Have a Drunken Phone Conversation With Ronald Reagan?

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A recently released tape from 1973 features Nixon slurring his words as Reagan pledges to stand behind him in the midst of the Watergate Scandal.

National Archives & Records Administration

On April 30, 1973, less than a year after the Watergate break-in, President Richard Nixon received a call from the then-Governor of California Ronald Reagan.

It had been a rough day for Nixon: He had just announced that his two top White House staffers -- HR Haldeman and John Ehrlichman -- had resigned along with Attorney General Richard Kleindienst,. The White House counsel, John W. Dean III, had been fired.

As Mediaite points out, during Nixon's phone conversation with Reagan, he sounds suspiciously upbeat, slurring his words at times, and even jokingly asking him, "How, how'd you ever manage to marry such a pretty girl?"

After Reagan pledged his support, he reassured Nixon that "This [the Watergate scandal] too shall pass."

To which Nixon replied, "Everything passes." But of course it did not.

Nixon resigned the presidency 16 months later, on Aug. 8, 1974.

Listen to the phone conversation between Nixon and Reagan:

Via mediaite.com


Lena Dunham Won Throw Back Thursday On Instagram

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The Girls creator was once a 19-year-old virgin who wrote to a Time Out New York columnist for sex advice. LOL.

Despite how frequently you see her naked or having sex on Girls, Lena Dunham was once a virgin who wrote to sex columnists for advice, and she proved it yesterday in the best Instagram series ever.

Despite how frequently you see her naked or having sex on Girls, Lena Dunham was once a virgin who wrote to sex columnists for advice, and she proved it yesterday in the best Instagram series ever.

The Associated Press / AP

She posted this yesterday with the caption: "#tbt to that time I wrote a letter to Jamie Buffalino, the sexpert in Time Out NY and he ANSWERED. Please note 'I have a reasonable amount of sexual experience...' #2005 #virgin"

instagram.com

Part 2

instagram.com

Buffalino wrote back, teased her for using the term "six ways to sunday," and said she should wait to have sex until she meets a man who doesn't care about her "sexual status" and just wants to express his love through "three timid thrusts."

She called his response "generous" on instagram, adding "Thank you, bro."

instagram.com


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20 Inspiring Films To Watch Before You Turn 30

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These all have important life lessons . Like, definitely trust that random hot guy who looks like Ethan Hawke.

Whip It (2009)

Whip It (2009)

This film is part sports, and part coming of age, but it shows an ex-beauty pageant queen finding herself and what really makes her happy. It's about taking risks, and coming into your own, while finding empowerment.

lauren-ariel.tumblr.com

Reality Bites (1994)

Reality Bites (1994)

Reality Bites is all about that period of your twenties when you're completely consumed with self doubt. Lelaina, played by Winona Ryder, wants to become a filmmaker, but has to deal with the harsh realities of being on her own. This film deals with that all too familiar notion of needing to find yourself before you can become what you're meant to be.

On a related note, there's an NBC reboot of the movie set to come to TV very soon ... it's the best/worst idea ever.

crazycinephiles.tumblr.com

Lovely & Amazing (2001)

Lovely & Amazing (2001)

The Marks family is going through some seriously tough stuff; a mother in a health crisis, failing careers and marriages, insecurity, and having children. It tackles all of the hardships you'll face as an adult, and will help you realize that image isn't everything.

Plus, Jake Gyllenhaal is actually pretty cute in this one.

Via youtube.com

Before Sunrise (1995)

Before Sunrise (1995)

We all have that fantasy of traveling abroad and meeting a dashing stranger on a train, right? Well, that actually happens in Before Sunrise. It's a movie that proves you should take every opportunity that comes your way, especially if that opportunity involves a day with Ethan Hawke. It also shows that you can meet someone when you're least expecting it, and actually learn something from them. (Even if you don't see them again for years afterward.)

meylingjudith.tumblr.com


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Around The World In 29 Sandwiches

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Bread + things in bread = the universal language.

Buzzfeed / Matt Ortile

Chacarero (Chile)

Chacarero (Chile)

A traditional Chilean sandwich of thinly sliced steak or pork on a round roll with tomatoes, green beans, and chili pepper. Green beans are a nice curveball.

seriouseats.com

Cemita (Mexico)

Cemita (Mexico)

Originally from Puebla, Mexico, cemitas are avocado, some type of meat, white cheese, onions, and salsa roja on a brioche-type bun (which are also sometimes called cemitas, confusingly enough). Like a cousin to the torta.

alifewortheating.com

Chip Butty (U.K.)

Chip Butty (U.K.)

Just steak fries on bread, usually with either ketchup or brown sauce. Some of its other names are freaking delightful: chip barm; chip batch; chip roll; chip muffin; piece-n-chips. "Barkeep! One chip muffin, please!"

leaandjay.wordpress.com


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The High Hurdles Of Running A Medical Marijuana Business

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The medical marijuana legalization effort has real for-profit potential. But navigating the legal and financial hurdles is not easy.

Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

The Renaissance Blackstone Hotel in Chicago, way back in June 1920, famously birthed the concept of the "smoke-filled room" when a gaggle of Republican power brokers checked into a suite and stayed up all night, puffing their lungs black and haggling over their party's stalemated presidential convention. (They ultimately decided on nominating Warren G. Harding, a devoted tobacco user in his own right.)

So it seems appropriate that on Thursday night the hotel served as the setting for a marijuana powwow — more specifically, the Illinois Medical Cannabis Investment and Legal Seminar.

Looking not all that different than the attendees of an insurance conference, a crowd of around 50 mostly white, middled-aged men in sports jackets — each of whom paid several hundred dollars for entry — sat at long tables with water pitchers and information packets in the hotel's "Innovation Room" to hear Brian Vicente and Christian Sederberg provide three hours of tips and intuition about navigating the legal and financial obstacles to starting a medical marijuana dispensary.

Or rather, a medical cannabis company — the first rule of marijuana club is not to talk about "marijuana." The nomenclature is important, insists Vicente, the Colorado lawyer who helped lead the successful fight to legalize pot in his home state. You don't dick around.

"This isn't a reefer shop. This is Chicago's Wellness Center," he says. "It is the best way to keep the federal government, soccer moms that might complain, and law enforcement from beating on your door."

Vicente and Sederberg have become two of the more prominent voices on marijuana — sorry, cannabis — legalization in the last year. Their law practice, Vicente Sederberg LLC, now operates as a "full-service medical marijuana law firm," with offices in Denver and Massachusetts, and plans to expand.

The legalization effort, as it continues to push forward, needs an industry to support it, just as it finds a phalanx of aligned corporate interests (lobbyists, drug-testing equipment manufacturers, DEA subcontractors, etc.) in opposition. There is for-profit potential here. But it's not going to be easy.

Via stash.norml.org

"When you are planning your business, you have to understand that this is a federally illegal product," Vicente says. He notes that there are former dispensary owners who currently sit behind bars, looking at another decade of hard time.

Even if you don't get shut down and carted off by the feds, you still will constantly bump up against Uncle Sam's presence, particularly when it comes to banking and taxation. Banks tend to become tight-fisted with loans and credit for this type of business. Vicente tells of one client in Colorado who has had to open up 14 different bank accounts over the last 11 months.

Presuming you're able to get a loan and open a business and make money dispensing, current federal law makes simply depositing it an enterprise unto itself.

Section 280 E of the Internal Revenue Code — which everyone quickly scribbles down on their notepads when Vicente mentions it — holds that no deductions or credits shall come from the "trafficking" of federally prohibited substances.

"This is a brand-new industry," Sederberg says, "so a lot of people think that it is an immediate moneymaker because it is a product everyone wants, and [they think] there is a large margin for error when there really isn't."

As Jill Lamoureux, who previously operated four dispensaries in Colorado and now works as a consultant and grant writer, declared to the attendees upon taking the podium last night, medical cannabis is "one of the riskiest businesses you could ever undertake." The margins are small and the payback period is long. In Illinois, specifically, patient protection laws are limited, making setting up a dispensary even riskier than in Colorado, Lamoureux notes.

To make the point even finer, she compares the prospective endeavor to her former career in the world of municipal bonds, saying, "It is probably easier to sell junk bonds for construction projects in South America than it is to be in this business."

She advises arming oneself with multiple attorneys and a "great tax advisor."


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21 iPhone Alarms That Will Definitely Get You Up

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