What is that face, Leo, what are you doing?
Via steal-flowers-and-breath.tumblr.com
Could also be terrified.
This kid will beat you up for your lunch money!
Photographs by Edward Linsmier for BuzzFeed
The building — a fading white, multistory rectangular block situated on a side street in an area of Orlando well-stocked with dreary strip malls and office parks — is wholly unremarkable, the kind of place you'd drive by a thousand times without taking a second glance. Exodus bought it five years ago, but it hasn't been a great investment, and in light of the organization's demise, the property is now up for sale.
Despite recent upheaval, Alan Chambers looks pretty comfortable ensconced in his large corner office on the second floor. Chambers, 41 — who after living as a gay man in his younger years now has a wife and two children — led Exodus for its final 12 years. He's long been a poster boy for the Christian right's belief that it was possible to "pray the gay away." Chambers disputes the notion that he ever promoted Exodus as the "gay cure" ministry, though there is plenty of evidence to the contrary, not the least of which is the book he wrote in 2009 called Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out. He maintains that his overarching goal was always to provide homosexuals with the comfort, fellowship, and love they'd been denied by traditional churches. And yet, for example, in a 2005 Exodus newsletter, he wrote, "One of the many evils this world has to offer is the sin of homosexuality. Satan, the enemy, is using people to further his agenda to destroy the Kingdom of God and as many souls as he can."
The following year, he and his deputy at Exodus, Randy Thomas, visited the White House at George W. Bush's invitation as Bush announced his push for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Chambers was also a prominent supporter of Proposition 8 in California. In 2009, an Exodus board member — not Chambers — traveled to Uganda and spoke at a conference on the evils of homosexuality that helped build the hysteria there that led to the country's infamous 2009 "Kill the Gays" bill, which prescribed a potential death penalty for "aggravated homosexuality" or life imprisonment for "the offence of homosexuality." (It has never been voted on but was reintroduced last year.) It took Chambers nearly a year to publicly disavow his organization's involvement.
And yet this June, Chambers not only closed Exodus in sudden and dramatic fashion, but acknowledged the ineffectiveness of gay-to-straight reparative therapy and offered a remarkable mea culpa that apologized for his organization's many missteps. He's now founding a new organization focused on bringing Christians and homosexuals together, called Speak. Love. Many in the LGBT community hailed Exodus' demise as a victory in the culture wars but were disappointed Chambers hadn't gone further in his support of gay rights or his renouncement of the religious underpinnings of the ex-gay theology. To many evangelicals, the man who had not only been a leader of the ex-gay movement but also a living example of its successes was now a lost sheep, or worse, a heretic.
"There are times when I feel like I don't have a country," Chambers says, not far from a wall of photos that include shots of him with his wife, with his kids, and with Mike Huckabee. "There are people who have been invested in this fight for years on both sides. It's the vocal minority on either side that gets the microphone. What I believe is there are far more people in the middle."
It's this middle group that he's hoping to represent and talk to. The question is, will he have the chance? At the moment, he's working on defining specific plans for the new organization and raising money to keep the lights on. But in order to succeed, he'll need to convince people that his divisive past has indeed passed, and that his own personal struggle won't get in the way of his public mission.
Photograph by Edward Linsmier for BuzzFeed
Alan Chambers is not gay, although this kind of depends on what your definition of "is" is. To hear him recount his personal history, it sounds very much like the familiar story of a young man coming to terms with his sexuality.
I meet Chambers for lunch in the posh Orlando suburb of Winter Park, where he grew up. I get there before him, look around, and wonder if his choice of locale — a sleek sports bar with 30 flat-screen TVs assaulting diners with reruns of SportsCenter — is a way of nakedly proclaiming his embrace of traditional gender roles, but the truth is, the place he really wanted to meet, an upscale Italian bistro down the street, is closed on Mondays. He arrives apologizing for being a few minutes late, dressed in a blue blazer, striped button-down shirt, blue bow tie, and jeans cuffed fashionably at his ankles, along with tan loafers, no socks. He sits down and immediately makes a joke about ordering an appetizer called "bleu balls." He's definitely not trying to butch it up.
Chambers is bald with a neatly trimmed gray beard framing his face. He comes from a big family, the youngest of six kids. As in most families in central Florida, sports were a big deal, and Chambers' lack of ability or interest in anything athletic immediately made him stand out. His parents persisted for a while in trying to get him to play baseball, but he couldn't hit, he couldn't throw, it was hot outside, and he was bored.
"I hated it," he says. "Maybe if the uniform was cool enough I could've liked it. But most of my friends were girls, so I gravitated toward the things they gravitated toward." He dressed up in his sisters' clothes and often pretended to be a girl. "People thought I was a girl. I had beautiful curly brown hair, these big eyes, and eyelashes for days. People would say, 'Your little sister is so cute!' All this just reinforced my feeling that I was not like other boys." Still, it took time for him to understand what all these things really meant. "It was puberty when I realized all the boys in my class liked girls and I liked all the boys."
This revelation horrified Chambers. He'd been raised Southern Baptist in a heavily religious family with a father who was ex-military. He had no experience or knowledge of what it meant to be gay, other than believing it was bad. He didn't know anyone who was openly gay, and growing up in the '80s, there were few, if any, gay role models. As he got older, he was teased and bullied. He remembers being afraid to change in front of other boys before gym class, and having them bang on the stall where he would get dressed, hollering "fag" and "queer" at him through the walls.
"That's probably when I realized, I've got to do something about this," he says. "Then the prayers started every night: 'God, fix me. Cure me. Heal me. Whatever I've done to become this dirty, rotten sinner, fix this.'"
As his high school years waned and he started attending a local community college, Chambers was in the midst of a full-on struggle with his sexuality.
"The majority of the encounters I had were shameful, anonymous encounters," he says. "I don't know that tons of people feel good about that stuff anyway." Even when he coupled with men he had gotten to know a little bit, he was filled with self-loathing. "Because it wasn't about a relationship, it was about sex. That was difficult, especially for a typical Christian kid who was afraid he was going to go to hell at every turn." After confiding in a counselor at a Christian youth retreat about his homosexual urges when he was 19, he was turned on to a local ministry in Winter Park called Eleutheros that was affiliated with Exodus.
At the time, Exodus had been around for over 20 years; it was started by a group of men in the 1970s who were struggling with the same tension between their sexual attractions and their devout belief that homosexuality was a biblical sin.
Most of their programs closely mirrored Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-step program, with open groups where people could talk about their struggles, and "accountability partners" who worked much like AA sponsors to be on call to help a member deal with daily temptations. In addition, many of the ministries offered mental health counseling — some done by licensed professionals, but plenty also by lay or faith-based counselors — for those working out deep-seated issues such as childhood sexual abuse. Many of the ministries also had connections to reparative therapists who engage in the controversial practice of trying to change the sexual orientation of their clients through a mix of psychoanalysis of past traumas, behavior modification, engagement in traditional "gender-appropriate" activities and other processes such as "holding therapy," in which a man would hug another man at length with the goal of symbolically repairing the non-sexual male bond that may have never successfully formed between the man and his father. (The scientific theories behind reparative therapy have been debunked and the American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Association, and American Psychological Association have all been critical of the practice. In 2001, United States Surgeon General David Satcher issued a report stating, "There is no valid evidence that sexual orientation can be changed." New Jersey this week became the second state, after California, to outlaw the practice for minors. Similar bills have be introduced to state legislatures in New York and Massachusetts.)
Chambers has often said that his introduction to Exodus saved his life. Coming from a sheltered childhood, it was the first time he'd been around other people wrestling with the same issues he was. Somewhat ironically, though, his early days at Exodus also coincided with his deepening identification as a gay man. "I went to Exodus when I was 19, and that's when my eyes were opened to the whole gay world around me," he says. "So in the midst of being involved with the local Exodus group, I also got involved with the gay community. I wouldn't say I was out and proud with everybody I knew, but there were certain people that knew, people I worked with at a restaurant."
His goal at Exodus though was clear: He wanted to become straight. "I went in and told the guy the first time I met with him, 'I want to be here six months, then I want to be done with this.'"
Chambers told his parents of his struggles with what he calls "same-sex attractions," and they surprised him by being extremely supportive, particularly of his efforts to change. Chambers attended an open group, sharing his experiences and praying for himself and his fellow strugglers. He worked with an accountability partner and had sessions with a counselor to talk about being molested by an older teenage boy when he was 10.
"He was an actual licensed mental health counselor that I would meet with once a week and we'd talk through all these things," he says. "No hocus-pocus, just talking. It was amazing and helped me deal with a lot of wounds I had. But I never went through reparative therapy."
Despite the work he was doing, he eventually realized his original goal — to walk out in six months as a happy, well-adjusted heterosexual — was unrealistic. "I hoped the gay stuff would go away and I wouldn't feel that way anymore," he says. "It never did happen."
Photograph by Edward Linsmier for BuzzFeed
The next morning I meet Chambers and his wife, Leslie, at a Starbucks. She's got brown hair and a warm face dotted with a few freckles, and she's wearing a pink-and-white blouse with a blue jean skirt. She's not the timid and retiring minister's wife of popular cliché, but rather sharp, funny, and down-to-earth. She tells me the first time she ever saw Alan was on TV, in the mid-'90s.
"He and a friend of his were sharing their stories," she says. "So I knew that part of him first. The next time I saw him, he walked into church with that same guy and I was like, 'There's those two gay guys.'"
Chambers says he was attracted to Leslie the first time he saw her. He'd been mildly attracted to women before, and had a few girlfriends back in high school, but he'd never felt anything like this in the past. At the time, Leslie was working as a nanny for the family of then-Major League pitcher Orel Hershiser, and she got Chambers a job as Hershiser's personal assistant. A few months later, Alan told her he wanted to be more than just friends.
"I told him it's never going to happen," she says. Over the course of the next few months, though, her feelings began to change. In March 1997, they went on their first date, and the following January they were married.
"I was 30 years old and hadn't found anybody yet," says Leslie. "But I had only two things I wanted in a guy: I wanted somebody who liked me first. I wanted to be pursued. And I wanted somebody who could tell me no, because I was a fairly strong person."
Chambers laughs. "Was."
Leslie continues. "Those were the only two things. Well, and he was a Christian, which was important and non-negotiable, so that wasn't even on my list. Over those months that we were friends, he absolutely became that person. He pursued me first, and I didn't doubt him in his pursuit of me. I felt very validated and secure in his attractions for me."
After getting married, Chambers grew more invested in Exodus. He'd first begun working part-time at Eleutheros when he dropped out of college in 1992. He'd gone full-time at Eleutheros in 1994 but then quit two years later to work with the Hershisers. In early 1999, he started his own local Exodus ministry, focusing on youths and teenagers grappling with homosexuality. The next year, he was named to Exodus' board of directors, and the year after that, he was elected president. From the beginning, his goal was to grow Exodus into an aggressive, dynamic, influential organization. And as a charismatic speaker with a personal testimony of his own transformation from unhappy gay man to happily married heterosexual, he was a walking advertisement for the group's then-motto: "Change Is Possible."
Of course, the truth was a bit more complicated. Chambers has admitted many times that his attraction to men has never fully receded but maintains that the person in the world he is most attracted to is his wife. The couple have two children, a boy and a girl, both 8 years old, both adopted. Before I can even ask why they chose to adopt, Chambers tells me.
"We were infertile," he says. "Both of us. We tried for seven years to have kids and to no avail. We got the two best things we could've ever asked or prayed for." When I bring up the subject of their sex life, Chambers answers like someone used to fielding the question.
"Sex is a huge part of our marriage," he says. "It has been and it's great and I love it. I'm attracted to my wife and I don't think of anything but my wife when I'm having sex with her. I have never in almost 16 years of marriage ever felt a temptation to be unfaithful to her. But sex isn't the pinnacle of our life together, nor should it be. There are a bunch of things more important than my sexual impulses, whether they're toward men or toward women, and I have both."
Photograph by Edward Linsmier for BuzzFeed
The telephone did get popular, as it turns out. Hey, who knew.
Even smart people can say dumb things sometimes.
Excuse me while I throw away my swimsuits. Many of these species are threatened or endangered, so we should probably learn to get along.
Okay, that one is out of the way.
Via fearbeneath.com
If I came in contact with a group a spear wielding whales, I would run the other way.
Via marinebio.org
There is a whole world of fishes like this one living deep within the ocean. This is actually one of the cuter looking ones of the bunch.
A large and very poisonous jellyfish. The one thing you really don't want to see while snorkeling.
Ignore the other bullshit advice lists blowing hyperbolic sunshine up your Ivy League asses.
Rule #1 there at the bottom — keep that thought actively in your mind every day you write. If what you’re writing sucks, give it up, and start over. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Until you give up for good. or until your dead. Do that, and there's a slight chance you'll actually write something unique.
Via instagram.com
RIP Elmore Leonard, a man who knew how to write no-bullshit writing.
At one point in our life, we all had and loved our own toys. But now that we’ve grown up, the kids are getting all the cool stuff. From Monster Backpacks that look awesome to Hobbit Playhouses, they get it all.
Via bryanku.com
Actually, you can make your own monster backpack if you'd like to do so.
Click here to learn how to make your own.
Via yourfleece.com
Via blogger.com
The SoCal indie label that was your go-to for all things pop punk and emo.
Via tumblr.com
…in comic form, at least.
It's titled Super Mario Bros. 2: The Comic and it's currently in progress.
Do you know what's even better? It's canon.
That's right, the comic's creators—Steven Applebaum and Ryan Hoss—met with the original writer of the Super Mario Bros. script to flesh out details.
Check out the comic's website here. There's some more information and pictures. This project looks like it's going to be awesome and fulfill the Italian plumber sized hole left in our hearts 20 years ago.
The Central American country comped up an invitation offering free vacations to cast members.
The Belize Tourism Board, via the above ad/invitation, offered free vacations to Vince Gilligan and the cast of the show.
During last Sunday's Breaking Bad episode, Saul Goodman suggested to Walter White that he arrange to "send (DEA agent) Hank to Belize" — aka on a one-way trip to deadsville.
Kudos, I guess, to the Board (and their ad agency, Olson) for trying to spin murder.
Via adweek.com
The number of Syrian children forced to flee their country as refugees has now reached one million, according to the U.N. Refugee Agency.
Syrian refugees Najib and his brother Mohammed play on a swing in an informal settlement outside of Sidon, Lebanon.
UNHCR / S. Baldwin
A young Syrian refugee girl slowly makes her way across a pipe over a pile of rubbish in an informal settlement in Fayda outside of Zahle, Lebanon. The municipality is generally responsible for picking up the rubbish, but the settlements in Fayda are difficult to reach and so residents there burn their trash or throw it in a ditch, which increases the likelihood of diseases spreading.
UNHCR / S. Baldwin
A young Syrian boy carries his bag over the border into Jordan.
UNHCR / O. Laban-Mattei
Young Syrian refugees, Aysha, 11, and Abdulqader, 6, look through the trash at a dumping site near their house. Their family pays their rent by gathering aluminum, plastics and other items from the trash and selling them to scrap dealers.
UNHCR / J. Kohler
New disclosed documents show that the US is working on technology for cameras that can scan crowds and recognize individuals by their facial features. The program, called BOSS, is still under development, but it’s already begun to alarm privacy advocates.
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The NowThis News app is live -- and it's FREE! Download it.
Just your typical amazing yellow-haired female who likes waffles and news.
All hail Cher.
Which of these 16 teams has the most big-play potential, the loudest fans, and the best underdog backstories?
We've all got a team that we were born rooting for, but at some point every fan likes to kick his/her legs up and throw on the ol' RedZone Channel. It's a football hodgepodge with a side of uncertainty that requires a snap judgment: Who do I root for? Let us help you out with a quick and easy-to-follow 2013 rooting guide to the teams of the NFC, ranked in rough order of projected quality (within each division).
Pros:
– Robert Griffin III sends thank-you notes. (Have you ever sent a crapload of thank-you notes after a wedding? It's hard work! Good for him.)
– Alfred Morris is one of the better underdog stories to come along in a while. Not counting on making a team, much less becoming a star, he spent last season driving a 1991 Mazda.
– London Fletcher hasn't missed a game in 15 years. That's 240 games. HE'S A LINEBACKER.
– Say what you will about this franchise — and we're about to — but its fans are not short on passion.
Cons:
– The name is racist.
– What can we say about Dan Snyder that hasn't already been said about the Ebola virus?
Rob Carr / Getty Images
Pros:
– Tony Romo throwing to Miles Austin in the slot and Dez Bryant on the outside should, in theory, be the best or second-best WR/QB combo in the NFL. (Atlanta's in that discussion.) It certainly produces the most highlights, good and bad.
– And there's Jason Witten, who by Week 3 will have the second-most catches of any tight end in NFL history. Not too shabby, and if you squint you can almost make Witten into an underdog given how much more attention Jimmy Graham and Rob Gronkowski get.
– If you're an unabashed frontrunner, their strength of schedule is eighth easiest in the league, and they could easily be 4-0 going into a Week 5 showdown at home against Denver (which has the easiest schedule this season).
– Tony Romo says, hey, what's up?
Cons:
– The ironically anti-democratic idea that any franchise can decide to call itself "America's Team" should make your skin crawl.
– You probably wipe the smudges off your own glasses. Not Jerry Jones!
Gus Ruelas, File / AP
London was covered in fog at the beginning of the 20th Century, culminating in the Great Smog in 1952.
Topical Press Agency / Getty Images
Topical Press Agency / Getty Images
Topical Press Agency / Getty Images
Fox Photos / Getty Images
Welcome to the real world.
Before she was the Kristen Wiig of today, she was the Kristen Wiig of yesteryear, which is basically just her with shorter hair.
youtube.com / Via nytimes.com
THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR AN NSYNC REUNION.
Last night the trusty TMZ camera dudes found and stopped the member of NSYNC to ask if the rumors were true. Joey said he was in town for a family member's surprise birthday party on Staten Island. My heart refuses to believe that, though.
Via tmz.com
LINK: tmz.com
“He’s been raised by the federal government his entire life and he wants to implement his socialist programs and that’s all he knows.”
Pennsylvania Republican Congressman Tom Marino said Thursday that President Obama was "raised by the federal government his entire life." Marino was appearing on The John Fredericks Show where he also said the president wants to implement "socialist programs."
"He doesn't know what it's like to run a business. He doesn't know what it's like to have a bottom line," Marino said. "I worked in a factory until I was thirty years old, put myself through college and law school. I know what it's like to stretch a paycheck. He's been raised by the federal government his entire life and he wants to implement his socialist programs and that's all he knows."
"He can't lead, he can not come up with ideas. I've never seen a situation where a president can't even suggest an idea other than cause a wider gap between classes and between people. As I said he's doing the only thing he knows how to do which is go out and campaign and community organize, cause he has no concept of what else to do."
The full video of Marino's interview has been embedded:
