“Who is this 4chan fella anyway?”

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The leak appears to have originated on 4chan’s /b/ board. This post is SFW. Update : The invasion of celebrities’ private pictures has continued as a kind of festival on online spaces into Monday night.

A leak that started as the latest round of personal pictures hacked from celebrities' phones turned Monday into a vast invasion of the privacy of actress Jennifer Lawrence and a handful of others — and a kind of festival on Reddit, 4chan, and other online spaces — with continued release of pictures and videotape purporting to be taken from stars including Lawrence, Kate Upton, Lea Michele, and more.

Jennifer Lawrence

Mike Marsland / WireImage

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No skills needed. Just hands.

Topinspired.com / jinsoon.com

Paint over a loofah for this cool two-tone look.

Steps here.

buzzfeed.com

This chic design is deceptively easy.

Directions here.

topinspired.com

Make your own matte polish with a little eye shadow.

See full directions here.

Makeup.com

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Never change, Cameron Diaz, never change.

In one of her more recent films, she got hit in the face with a dodgeball. She is a fearless comedy warrior, and she deserves a salute. The goofiest of the goofy:

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

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A quest to stop apologizing so much.

Women tend to apologize more frequently than men, a study in Psychological Science shows. Whether it's in lieu of an "excuse me" or something we deem more of an offense than men, it's a subtle, self-defeating habit.

To see if I could stop pardoning myself so much, I kept track of my apologies to family, strangers, and anyone else for a month (excluding the times I genuinely messed up and owed someone an apology).

Justine Zwiebel / BuzzFeed

1. Being sleepy

2. Writing a long email

3. Asking a question

4. Fishing change out of my wallet

5. Someone holding the door open for me

6. Being told where to swipe a credit card

7. Having to pee

8. Being bumped into

9. My grumbling stomach

10. A spill in the fridge

Justine Zwiebel / BuzzFeed

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Just one of the guys…

You get called "dude" all the time.

youtube.com

...and "man."

"Yeah bruh..."

New Line Cinema / Via l-o-t-r.tumblr.com

It's an unspoken agreement that they know when you're on your period.

Old Spice / Via youtube.com

You sometimes develop feelings for each other...

FOX / Via outrageouslybritney.tumblr.com

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You’re probably reading this from your couch right now.

The desperation you feel when you realize you've lost your remote.

PLEASE. SOMEONE HELP. ANYONE.

Cartoon Network

The panic that ensues when you realize your phone battery just dropped below 20% and your charger is ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS.

Logo / Via fuckyeahrupaulsdragrace.tumblr.com

The constant battle between laziness and hunger.

Who will win today?

FOX

The fact that your bladder is always the ultimate buzzkill.

Paramount Pictures

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Though he’s earning recognition as a serious actor on FX’s The Bridge , to many, Matthew Lillard is still Stu from Scream or Stevo from SLC Punk! — and that’s fine with him.

Matthew Lillard as Daniel Frye on FX's The Bridge.

Jordin Althaus/FX

Whether it was imbuing a teenage murderer with comic timing and wit in Scream, or waxing poetic to the camera as blue-haired punk rocker Stevo in SLC Punk!, Matthew Lillard has always helped transform his characters into vibrant, fully developed people. His impassioned, spazzed-out performances were a hallmark of the '90s, even in films that haven't stood the test of time.

There were hints of dramatic potential scattered throughout his roles, but only in recent years — in 2011's The Descendants and now on FX's The Bridge — has Lillard been given a platform to fully explore his acting range. Still, Lillard, now also a screenwriter and director, regrets nothing about his trajectory. At 44, he knows that who you have been shapes who you are now.

"My career has never been a career of, 'We need Matthew Lillard,'" the actor said, seated in a small neighborhood market in Pasadena, Calif., near where he lives with his wife and kids. He suggested the meeting place, an intimate locale where he is a daily fixture. "My career is, 'We can't find the guy. I guess bring in Lillard,'" he said. "I'm not the guy people go looking for. I'm the guy that ends up getting the job and makes the part good."

Throughout Lillard's career, he has rarely been directly offered roles but has always proven himself in the audition room. Until the past few years, when he got the gig of alcoholic journalist Daniel Frye on The Bridge and began actively pursing screenwriting and directing, Lillard has been the "best friend," the joke-cracking second gun to the leading man. But Lillard's ability to passionately embrace any opportunity presented to him resonates throughout his entire filmography, even in the films he can now say weren't any good.

"There's nothing in my past that's too terrible," he said almost proudly, his lanky body curled into a chair by the market's counter. As he spoke, he chewed his way through a pulled pork sandwich with added bacon (despite the waitress's insistence that he was going to die). "Look, I did In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. It's the worst movie I ever made. But I turned in one of my favorite performances. My wife is like, 'I can't even watch it,' but it's one of my favorite things I've ever done."

As Stu in the gruesome but darkly comedic climax of Scream.

Dimension Films

Acting wasn't a childhood dream for Lillard, who grew up in Orange County, Calif. It was something he fell into at age 13, primarily because he wasn't good at anything else, but it became an overwhelming passion. He acted throughout high school and after a short time at a junior college called up his parents and told them he needed to quit school. "I distinctly remember saying to my mom, 'Look, I can always go back and get my degree,'" he said. "But I never want to look back at my life when I'm old and say I wish I'd given it a shot.'"

Lillard was so intent on pursing acting that he took the advice of a photographer in the Valley and changed his name. "I'll never forget," he laughed. "When I got my first headshots, they were like, 'You should change your name. What's your middle name?' My first three credits on IMDb are 'As Matthew Lyn.' It's more a porn star name than anything else."

Lillard's first ever onscreen appearance was a commercial for now-defunct clothing store Miller's Outpost, but his big break came in 1990 when a 20-year-old Lillard scored a gig as the host of a Nickelodeon skateboarding show called SK8 TV.

"I remember saying to my mom and dad, 'We should go to Disneyland because when this hits I'm going to be so famous that I'm going to be swamped and my safety is going to be an issue,'" Lillard said. "I took them out to breakfast at Denny's as a celebratory gesture. I was like, 'I'm going to be super famous after this.' They looked dumbfounded, like, Really?"

Fame didn't arrive until later, despite Lillard's eagerness for recognition. He scored his first movie role in John Waters' 1994 film Serial Mom. When it was released Lillard would walk around outside movie theaters hoping to be identified as its star. He didn't realize at the time that success as an actor comes gradually rather than all at once, ideally building up to longevity rather than transient celebrity.

"You think if you're famous then you can do another movie," he noted. "The reality is that no matter if you get a job, that job will never satisfy you. Because the minute you get that job, you need the next job. It's really about the endurance of a lifetime of being an artist."

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It was a terrible summer at the U.S. box office, but does that mean the movies were also terrible?

Jenny Chang for BuzzFeed / IFC Films; Marvel; Columbia Pictures; Radius-TWC; A24; Warner Bros.; Universal Pictures; 20th Century Fox

Adam B. Vary: Now that the dust has settled on this year's summer movie season, Alison, we can see plainly what we've suspected since at least June — this was a terrible summer at the domestic box office. Like, really, really, really bad. Collectively, Hollywood hasn't grossed this little at the box office since 2006 — and when adjusting for ticket price inflation, it appears this was the worst summer since 1992.

Breaking things down even further, it wasn't until August that a summer movie became the top-grossing film of the year so far — that would be Guardians of the Galaxy, which supplanted Marvel Studios' other movie this year, Captain America: The Winter Soldier (which was released in April), for the No. 1 spot atop the U.S. box office. As far as I can tell, before this year, an August movie hadn't won the summer domestic box office since at least 1980, and possibly ever. And Guardians did it with just $251.5 million (and counting) in domestic receipts. If current projections for the movie to top out around $290 million are correct, it will be the lowest-grossing summer movie champion since Shrek in 2001 (and adjusting for inflation, since Ghost in 1990 — there are BuzzFeed staffers who weren't even born in 1990).

Put simply: This year's summer movies just were not popular with American audiences. Are the movies themselves to blame? Do you think they were that bad?

Alison Willmore: No. Not at all. When it comes to shiny summer entertainment, I thought this year's crop was pretty good, from the supergroup pleasures of X-Men: Days of Future Past to the unexpectedly dark dramas of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes to the glorious weirdness of Guardians of the Galaxy. Not everything worked — ahem, Sex Tape — but in a season that's mainly about uncomplicated good times, uncomplicated good times were frequently had.

But now it's late August, and I do feel a little queasy, like I've been gorging on junk food for months. Here's what I do wonder, Adam: Does the idea of a summer blockbuster season make sense anymore? One thing that this job of seeing so many of these movies in a row emphasizes is a certain sameness. Many of them are about saving the world, many of them are heavy on explosions and destruction, and many of them are continuations of a franchise, brand, or series, meaning they have an obligation to be bigger than and to up the stakes from whatever came before. Marvel and DC have both staked out dates years in advance for their upcoming releases, mostly for prime summer territory, plenty of those opening weekends reserved for projects that don't yet have announced titles. So, the clutter isn't going to change anytime soon. Do you think these movies are drowning each other out?

Columbia Pictures

ABV: I think you hit the nail on the head: There was a feeling of homogenized sameness creeping into so many of the big summer movies this year — both within the individual franchises, and across the grand Hollywood VFX-blockbuster industrial complex. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 felt like the most disappointing example to me — a franchise reboot that tried so hard to find a kind of winsome indie rom-com sensibility, yet was utterly drowned out by its obligations to cover so much of the same visual and storytelling territory as other superhero movies (and, especially, earlier Spider-Man movies). Transformers: Age of Extinction, meanwhile, was exactly the same numbing visual onslaught as every other Transformers movie, despite the Mark Wahlberg and dinobots of it all — and it was almost three hours long. Maleficent was a weird mash-up of Snow White and the Huntsman, Oz the Great and Powerful, and the various Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies, with its only genuine special effect being Angelina Jolie's unmatched star power (and enhanced cheek bones).

But this problem wasn't restricted just to bad movies. X-Men: Days of Future Past and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes were highly competent and entertaining experiences that nonetheless held very little by way of genuine surprise for me. Even the insanely fun and often surprising Guardians of the Galaxy leaned heavily on a bare-bones basic plot that felt virtually the same as several previous Marvel Studios movies.

And yet, all of these movies were far more successful in the U.S. than my favorite big effects movie of the summer, Edge of Tomorrow. Despite its obvious sci-fi invasion meets Groundhog Day structure, it most consistently surprised and delighted me. And no one saw it — or, rather, not nearly enough people saw it for anyone in Hollywood to consider it a success.

I'm depressed, Alison. Cheer me up!

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We just feel so angry, all the time.

We never got any midnight book releases.

Warner Bros. / Via harrypotterreactions.tumblr.com

Nor did we get premieres attended by the actors.

littleballoflight.tumblr.com

J.K. Rowling's book signing tours never came to Australia.

Warner Bros. / Via wwwaspotters.blogspot.com.au

"OMG YES THERE'S A HARRY POTTER THEME PARK!" lol nope it's in Florida.

Warner Bros. / Via wordpress.com

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In the name of the Diego, the Armando, and the Maradona. Amen.

The Hand of God, Diego Maradona emerged from an Italian car and parted the reporters like Moses told the Red Sea, "PART!"

SBS News / Via sbs.com.au

The Argentinean was here to speak to God's spokesman on Earth, Pope Francis: "Oh where art thou Pope?!"

AP Images

Anadolu Agency / Getty Images

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An unlikely, but awesome, pairing.

Sagar Taneja

Sagar Taneja

It initially began as a way to promote upcoming films for his employer at the time, digital media company Flarepath.

Sagar Taneja

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WARNING: Do not read at night. Or alone. Or with your eyes open.

Thinkstock / boscorelliart

Autumn is here and soon the nights will be drawing in. So why not settle down with a selection of the creepiest horror stories and urban legends currently floating around the internet, scaring the socks off all who stumble upon them?

Warning: genuinely scary content within. Proceed with caution.

A trip down memory lane on a kids' TV discussion forum turns unexpectedly dark.

NetNostalgia Forum – Television (local)

Skyshale033
Subject: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Does anyone remember this kid's show? It was called Candle Cove and I must have been 6 or 7. I never found reference to it anywhere so I think it was on a local station around 1971 or 1972. I lived in Ironton at the time. I don't remember which station, but I do remember it was on at a weird time, like 4:00 PM.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
it seems really familiar to me…..i grew up outside of ashland and was 9 yrs old in 72. candle cove…was it about pirates? i remember a pirate marionete at the mouth of a cave talking to a little girl

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
YES! Okay I'm not crazy! I remember Pirate Percy. I was always kind of scared of him. He looked like he was built from parts of other dolls, real low-budget. His head was an old porcelain baby doll, looked like an antique that didn't belong on the body. I don't remember what station this was! I don't think it was WTSF though.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Sorry to ressurect this old thread but I know exactly what show you mean, Skyshale. I think Candle Cove ran for only a couple months in '71, not '72. I was 12 and I watched it a few times with my brother. It was channel 58, whatever station that was. My mom would let me switch to it after the news. Let me see what I remember.

It took place in Candle cove, and it was about a little girl who imagined herself to be friends with pirates. The pirate ship was called the Laughingstock, and Pirate Percy wasn't a very good pirate because he got scared too easily. And there was calliope music constantly playing. Don't remember the girl's name. Janice or Jade or something. Think it was Janice.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Thank you Jaren!!! Memories flooded back when you mentioned the Laughingstock and channel 58. I remember the bow of the ship was a wooden smiling face, with the lower jaw submerged. It looked like it was swallowing the sea and it had that awful Ed Wynn voice and laugh. I especially remember how jarring it was when they switched from the wooden/plastic model, to the foam puppet version of the head that talked.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
ha ha i remember now too. ;) do you remember this part skyshale: "you have…to go…INSIDE."

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Ugh mike, I got a chill reading that. Yes I remember. That's what the ship always told Percy when there was a spooky place he had to go in, like a cave or a dark room where the treasure was. And the camera would push in on Laughingstock's face with each pause. YOU HAVE... TO GO... INSIDE. With his two eyes askew and that flopping foam jaw and the fishing line that opened and closed it. Ugh. It just looked so cheap and awful.

You guys remember the villain? He had a face that was just a handlebar mustache above really tall, narrow teeth.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
i honestly, honestly thought the villain was pirate percy. i was about 5 when this show was on. nightmare fuel.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
That wasn't the villain, the puppet with the mustache. That was the villain's sidekick, Horace Horrible. He had a monocle too, but it was on top of the mustache. I used to think that meant he had only one eye.

But yeah, the villain was another marionette. The Skin-Taker. I can't believe what they let us watch back then.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
jesus h. christ, the skin taker. what kind of a kids show were we watching? i seriously could not look at the screen when the skin taker showed up. he just descended out of nowhere on his strings, just a dirty skeleton wearing that brown top hat and cape. and his glass eyes that were too big for his skull. christ almighty.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Wasn't his top hat and cloak all sewn up crazily? Was that supposed to be children's skin??

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
yeah i think so. rememer his mouth didn't open and close, his jaw just slid back and foth. i remember the little girl said "why does your mouth move like that" and the skin-taker didn't look at the girl but at the camera and said "TO GRIND YOUR SKIN"

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
I'm so relieved that other people remember this terrible show!

I used to have this awful memory, a bad dream I had where the opening jingle ended, the show faded in from black, and all the characters were there, but the camera was just cutting to each of their faces, and they were just screaming, and the puppets and marionettes were flailing spastically, and just all screaming, screaming. The girl was just moaning and crying like she had been through hours of this. I woke up many times from that nightmare. I used to wet the bed when I had it.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
i don't think that was a dream. i remember that. i remember that was an episode.

Skyshale033
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
No no no, not possible. There was no plot or anything, I mean literally just standing in place crying and screaming for the whole show.

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
maybe i'm manufacturing the memory because you said that, but i swear to god i remember seeing what you described. they just screamed.

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Oh God. Yes. The little girl, Janice, I remember seeing her shake. And the Skin-Taker screaming through his gnashing teeth, his jaw careening so wildly I thought it would come off its wire hinges. I turned it off and it was the last time I watched. I ran to tell my brother and we didn't have the courage to turn it back on.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
i visited my mom today at the nursing home. i asked her about when i was littel in the early 70s, when i was 8 or 9 and if she remebered a kid's show, candle cove. she said she was suprised i could remember that and i asked why, and she said "because i used to think it was so strange that you said 'i'm gona go watch candle cove now mom' and then you would tune the tv to static and juts watch dead air for 30 minutes. you had a big imagination with your little pirate show."

Via creepypasta.wikia.com

creepypasta.wikia.com / WikiCommons

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“The eternal eclipse of hellfire is upon us.” - Dark Lord of the Universe

Thinkstock

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BRB, hitching a ride with Jimi Hendrix to Woodstock.

Attending a legendary event in popular history would be a really cool experience.

New Line Cinema / Via pandawhale.com

Whether you'd want to have fun and be a total hippie at Woodstock...

Warner Bros. / Via blankonblank.tumblr.com

Or stand up for something important, and walk in the March on Washington next to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

AP Photo/File

Or maybe you'd want to make history and actually walk on the moon with Neil Armstrong.

Nasa / Reuters

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It’s time to step up your Disney Princess hair game.

Jasmine's banded ponytail

Full directions here.

Via camillestyles.com

Cinderella's chic updo

Check out the tutorial here.

Via lovemaegan.com

Ariel's voluminous waves

See the process here.

Via youtube.com

Elsa's epic braid

Check out the tutorial here.

Via rotoscopers.com

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Maybe don’t read this in public.

Kye, a 3-year-old Belgian German Shepherd, was stabbed to death by the suspect on Aug. 24, and was buried with full honors.

Oklahoma City police officer Sgt. Ryan Stark leans over the casket of his canine partner.

Sue Ogrocki / AP

Department spokesman Capt. Dexter Nelson told Today.com:

Kye was injured while Stark was responding to a stolen car report last Sunday, August 24. A 22-year-old suspect had led police officers on a car chase until he crashed his vehicle in a ditch and then tried to flee by foot. Kye chased after the suspect and Stark, when he caught up to both of them, saw the suspect stabbing the dog repeatedly with a knife.

Police officers file past Kye's casket during his Aug. 28 funeral.

Sue Ogrocki / AP

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We’ve examined the evidence.

Kylie Jenner was widely criticised for having secret lip surgery after her pout appeared fuller a few months ago.

Angela Weiss / Getty Images

Everyone on Twitter was speculating about whether she'd had work done.

twitter.com

And it wasn't long until "before and after" photos began circulating on Tumblr.

tumblr.com / instagram.com

She even took to Twitter to deny it.

Twitter: @kyliejenner

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Because the world really is your oyster.

You have friends/exes/one-stands from almost every continent.

SNL Studios / Via mashable.com

Your wallet has a mixture of coins and you sometimes give the wrong currency by mistake.

Fox / Via ahelpinggifhand.tumblr.com

The idea of flying for 24 hours is not daunting.

HBO

Nervous flyers annoy you.

Apatow Productions / Via gifstumblr.com

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Illustration by Paula Searing for BuzzFeed

I went to a wedding last summer. I was wearing a cute new dress and sweet little flats. I felt pretty. The time between the ceremony and reception was spent eating appetizers and laughing with dear friends, but at one point, I looked over at another group of guests and a woman was staring at my legs — unabashedly, openly, without even blinking. She had a look of utter disgust on her face. I quickly turned away, embarrassed, and looked at my friend with wide eyes.

“Yeah," she said. "I saw that too. I want to go punch her.”

***

As a little girl, I was happy; I had wonderful, supportive parents; I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. But I thought that God made a huge mistake when he made me. Because I grew up in a Christian home and went to Sunday School, I heard that one verse found in Psalm 139, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” on a regular basis. I believed that I was some odd exception to that rule, though. Maybe I just slipped through the cracks; surely a loving God wouldn’t have purposely made me like this.

I have Spina Bifida, which means I have missing nerves in my spinal cord. Missing nerves tend to be fairly problematic, to say the least. I have an impressive scar from the spinal surgery I had as an infant that goes from one side of my body to the other. My feet are scrunched up and are two different sizes and my calf muscles are virtually nonexistent. My thighs have to make up for my lack of calves, so they’re muscular, which is an oddly disproportionate combination. If I ever fall on my back, or hit the wrong spot at my Pilates class, it feels like there is electricity shooting up and down my legs, and I’m temporarily paralyzed. I take medication that makes it necessary to stay inside on really hot days to avoid the inevitable heat stroke. I have to wear orthotics in ugly shoes and even with those, my feet and hips still hurt all the time. My body aches when it rains.

Most people with Spina Bifida are in wheelchairs and have significant physical disabilities. The doctors told my parents that I wouldn’t be able to walk, but I can. No one can really explain why most of my issues are hidden, why I can ride a bike and waterski, or why I have this really mild version of a severe disability.

It’s hard to feel fortunate when you deal with something like this, though. As a child I would cry because I was convinced I would never be beautiful enough to be loved by a boy. I did a lot of praying, hoping that one day I would be normal. I knew people couldn’t tell what was wrong with me on the outside, but I believed they wouldn’t like me if they found out the truth.

So I buried my secret as deep as it could go. Then, in grade four, I took a risk and told my best friend what was wrong with me. I told her all of the things that my mother and I had rehearsed. I told her about my spine and my feet and my medication. I told her that it was a blessing I was so short. If I were tall or heavy, my legs wouldn’t hold me and I wouldn’t be able to walk. God blessed me with tininess! I can walk! It’s a miracle! She listened quietly and didn’t ask questions.

A week later at lunchtime, a girl in my class turned around and said, “Hey. We all know you have a growing problem.” "No I don’t! I DON’T!" I yelled at them. My best friend turned to me and said, “Well, that’s what you told me.” They know. They know something is wrong with me, but it’s not even the truth. It’s some weird, twisted contortion of the truth. That isn’t me! I could hear the whispers and I felt my friendships change. They thought I had a growing problem. But NO. It’s a hole-in-the-spine problem. At least get it right!

I buried my secret even deeper. I refused to wear shorts to school so people wouldn’t see my mismatched legs. I always insisted my scrunched up toes be painted in an effort to make them prettier. In our family we used to say that my feet looked like they were in the permanent high heel position, just like Barbie’s feet. In high school, my friend laughed and said they looked like Berenstain Bear feet. High school me chuckled along with her, but I screamed on the inside. They are Barbie feet! Not Berenstain Bear feet!

Illustration by Paula Searing for BuzzFeed

It’s hard looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. I don’t feel beautiful when my feet are painfully squished into flats that don’t look very chic or stylish. I’m convinced that the ugliness of my lower half completely ruins anything else I’ve got going on. I’m embarrassed when people ask why I’m limping, and the only answer I have for them is “everything just hurts today.” When I’m around tall, leggy girls in sky-high heels, I always feel a little inadequate. It’s hard to look a stranger in the eye when she’s staring at your legs with disgust. My friends and family tell me I’m gorgeous, but it’s a struggle to believe it some days. I have to work up the courage to just to walk in front of people when I’m convinced they will be staring at my legs and wondering why my right foot turns in a little bit.

“Precocious” is a word that was often used to describe me, probably because I’ve always appeared to be significantly younger than I am. When people realized I could articulate myself and I was actually intelligent, they were impressed. And my quick wit always surprised people. In elementary school, when the other kids teased me for being short, I shot back at them with, “Well, you’re ugly and I can grow.” It never failed to catch them off guard. I didn’t play the quiet, meek victim bullies were used to. My humor and wit stopped people in their tracks and turned them into friends.

I want nothing more than for people to stop underestimating me. Just because I am tiny, does not mean I am incapable (except maybe when it comes to reaching the top shelves). Just because I look young, doesn’t mean I am naïve. Just because I have a disability, doesn’t mean I am worth less than anyone else.

In an effort to not be underestimated, I sometimes hide things about myself. I don’t often talk about having a disability openly. I definitely don’t write about it on the internet. I try to avoid situations where it might come in to question. I figure that if people don’t know about my physical differences, they won’t underestimate me. I don’t want to be seen as “the disabled girl,” because I know that’s not what defines me. It’s a deep, integral part of who I am, but it’s not the first thing I want people to know when they meet me. I want them to get to know me for who I am, not for a condition I might have. I have a desire to be deeply and truly known.

Illustration by Paula Searing for BuzzFeed

I have decided that I’m going to be beautiful.

I’m not going to be the kind of beautiful that is loud and proud and in your face. I am going to be the kind of beautiful that is steady and understated. The beautiful that is gentle and quiet, but strong. It’s not the kind of beauty that turns heads or drops jaws, but the kind that lights up a room. It’s not even the kind of beauty that stands on a mountain and screams curses at our conformity to society’s expectations. It’s less “I am woman, hear me roar,” and more “This is me. And I am quite fine, thank you.” It’s the kind of beautiful that is completely OK with just being what it is.

But I know that kind of beauty isn't something I can achieve on my own. It’s so much greater than that. It’s based on the knowledge that I have been intricately designed by the same artist who painted the trees and the flowers and the mountains and the oceans and the skies. I am even more breathtakingly beautiful than the physical world because unlike those mere things, I was created in the image of God himself. That concept is too big for me to grasp, and I think I’m OK with it. I’m OK with not knowing why things happen the way they do, with not knowing exactly why I was created the way I was created. I am OK with it because I have faith in a God who tells the sun when to rise and set. I have faith in someone who is astoundingly bigger and greater than myself. I am deeply and truly known by the one who created me.

And I have a relationship with Jesus – someone who flipped everything upside down and caused a lot of ruckus. He declared that the weak are strong. The kingdom of God belongs to the least of these: the broken, the sick, the poor, the lonely. I can’t help but be totally enamored and thrilled by that knowledge.

I am going to be beautiful because I know that I’ve been created lovingly for a purpose. No one is exactly the same as me. No one has been given this same story to tell. No one besides me could be writing these words. While it is sometimes hard to look in the mirror and declare my own beauty, I will do just that because the creator of the universe thinks I’m quite spectacular.

I am kind.

I am sweet.

I am sassy.

I am witty.

I am intelligent.

I am worthy of love.

I am beautiful.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

And the next time someone stares at my legs with disgust when I am dolled up for a wedding, I will look them in the eye and say, “They’re pretty great, right?”